Hello friends,

I wasn’t gonna post this experience but I figured it wouldn’t hurt. I’ll try to make this as short as I possibly can.

Had the house all to myself yesterday. The plan was to drop 250ug of awesome acid, then do some n20 and when it felt right, finish the night with N,N-DMT.

After I fully peaked on Lucy, I did a whippet, measured out 80mg of dmt and was ready for lift off. I heated up my nail, dropped in the dmt and held that breath in till I couldn’t anymore.
In the course of the night, I believe I did around 300-350mg dmt total. The experiences were pretty amazing. I was guided by this “mami of dmt” into these infinite colorful rooms with all these infinite shapes forming on each infinite wall in this infinite hyperspace. I kept hearing her saying something along the lines of “Is this what you were looking for, no? How about this? She showed me all these infinite possibilities. I kept thinking that I was an alien, a lizard. It felt like I had 10 fingers, multiple sets of eyes, fish scales. What I got out of this, is that there is A LOT more to this than we think. The world – planet earth we’re living on right now doesn’t really matter, THERE’S SO MUCH MORE! There should be no time for all the negativity, stress, depression and to make it the best of what I have.

Today when I woke up I was really thinking about my yesterday’s journey, but at the same time as someone who suffers from pretty intense social anxiety, I figured it’s game over for me. I’m 21 years old, have no friends, no girlfriend, no college education, working a dead end job, no social skills. Pretty much as fake as a person can be. I do plan on going to college this winter, and I hope to make the best of it. But we shall see.

I noticed that I couldn't post this under "Experiences" so I figured I'd share this here. Feel free to move or delete this.

Farewell! =)

fake is a frat boy in college, being something he's not, to appease others and fit into some image the status quo deems normal. remember that..I almost fell for it at that age.
I became a different kind of fake, partying with gang members.

thanks for sharing, and welcome to the Nexus.

dmt on acid is always mind blowing, I believe you when you say there's so much more than here haha.. I'm quite a socially anxious person but it has got much better over time since I decided that regardless of my natural predisposition to feeling things / looking at things certain ways, I am the architect of my own experience and that realising that and taking responsibility for your own experience is the moment where change can occur. There's hope you for no matter how alienated, disconnected and uncomfortable you feel around people.

Welcome to the nexus!

your trip report is making me nostalgic for a time when I had free flowing access to L & a nice stash of spice

Welcome.

As someone dealing with the very same situation your in i deffinatly feel your pain.
I can`t say what will work for you & your body chemistry, but using DMT & harmalas has proven an invaluable analytical & diagnostic tool for the last year or two anxiety wise & in finding direction & strength as well.

It can be very challenging at times & there is alot of work involved & energy spent towards making changes in long term psychological, social, & behavioral patterns but ultimately, learning to use DMT & other psychedellics as a medicine & integrating lessons learned into your every day habbits can be very helpful.

I was in the exact same position at your age, let me tell you that being down to earth is the best thing you can be right now and for the rest of your life. Sounds like your in a perfect situation to become a monk, ascetic or hermit or something like that. The rat race will get you nowhere apart from a few fleeting moments of happiness and a whole lot of endlessly repetitive activities to try and quench your desires, which ultimately never comes. Don't try so hard, just be at peace with the world and your circumstance otherwise you will make hell for yourself.

I'll sing along a strophe: fake is everywhere. Substitution of kind-of-fake happens a lot.

But please do not let this stop you if you feel called to do something like college, while knowing it's fake too, together with it's dangling promises.

If you feel to, do it. Not be become less-fake, but different fake. Is that any better? Who knows, but that's not where the motivation lies. The real motivation is to follow your guidance (intuition) and get into some dynamics (of your liking if possible) that can offer the opportunity of serendipity, the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

I believe fake is hard to attack directly, you have to find a no-fake reference for that, much success wished with that. I believe it can start resolve itself slowly when a person feels and follows intuition (and not so much following emotions).
Just some thoughts.