Your quite welcome! Couple good paragraphs there
I understand about the "why me" part and I'm sure plenty of us have either been through that or would go through that if something were to happen to us, I think it would be a natural first step after the initial issue. It's what you do after that that matters. Myself now with the different attitude I have I would be like "of course", lol. I have a tendency to look at nature a lot for answers, I never see a bird with a broken wing that sits there and feels sorry for itself or my rot who has 2 blown out ACLs wondering why me, they just continue to survive and make the best of it though painful sometimes. I myself deal with 2 bad shoulders and back issues, the shoulders will eventually give without surgery and the back issues are inherited. Some days are very painful and I have nowhere near the range of motion I used to have but still try to do things like I do which sets off the pain. I just work through it and eventually it subsides, I take no meds whatsoever. I just don't let it bring me down anymore, even joke about it sometimes.
By the way you can post anywhere in the welcome area. As for your question to the entities motives. I'm not sure if I've gotten a motive relating to needing spice to get stronger or to exist, I'm thinking they always have. My encounters have involved singing in kind of a weird playful manor, showing me things that can't possibly exist, examining me as if I've been there before, the journeys that were darker in nature seemed to be by my own mind set not being where it should've been. So I don't think from my experiences they seemed to have a motive of entrapment or convincing me to keep coming in even though the excitement almost says otherwise. Since I don't quite know what the hell is going on I try not to take it too seriously, because you're absolutely right that the deeper you go the more questions you end up with. So with what I get out of the experience I try to integrate into my life in a positive manner, and so far that has worked for me. I think a clear mindset is a must and any negative energies you harbor will eventually show itself, that has been my case during darker experiences, basically my own fault. They have seemed cosmic or on another dimensional level and have encountered a few different types.
I myself am not religious and don't relate them to angels or demons, again I don't have a clue what the hell they are even though they seem to enjoy my company. A lot of times I come out confused, but again I've learned not to sweat it, I think my brain would burn up trying to figure it out. Hopefully a tiny bit of this is making any sense at all as I'm not very good at articulating what I'm trying to say. I guess if you've had some confusing or tough trips to not take them too seriously or maybe take a break and contemplate what you was shown. It's just the weirdest stuff and I must be a glutton for punishment because I keep coming back, lol.
I'm on and off here, I work for the railroad so I'm all over the place and work a lot of hours but I try to get on here when I can and when I'm home its spent with family and I work in my other activities at the first opportunity.
Anyway be well and I'll be chatting with you sometime soon. And maybe some other members can chime in with their insights as to what these motives could be representing.
Peace
SO2