I wanted to share an experience I was both a participant and an observer in earlier this year. In May I flew to Portugal with my girlfriend at the time. I got a random email from Spain, on behalf of a shaman. Now, I know this shaman, he was Ecuadorian guy with much integrity and experience, and he was the first person I ever drank with in the UK, and I had done so twice previous to this meeting. The email was concerning a weekend ayahuasca and temazcal retreat happening in the mountains in west-central Spain. We were flying to Lisbon, and it was a six hour drive, and it just so happened to be taking place the day after we arrived. There was no possible way we could have planned it any better, so we took this as a sign that we should be a part of this.
Regrettably, my girlfriend and I managed to miss our plane! But we departed the next day. This made getting there more stressful time wise, and we had to head straight there with no rest and we got lost a few times. By the time we arrived we were stressed, my girlfriend in particular. Now, at the last minute, my sister had come out and joined us there. My mum had booked her a flight last minute, and I was encouraging of her coming if sh wanted to. My sister was not in a good place...a few months previous she had lost her beloved dog, severed ties to her father, lost her flat, her job and her car and she was in a dark place, and using both mephedrone and cannabis excessively, and she was on quite a self destructive path. She had come off SSRI antidepressants around Christmas, and had also been feeling the long term withdrawal side effects of these which was exacerbating her symptoms. We had shared many psychedelic experiences together and I've always had a great relationship with her, which has strengthened greatly as we've gotten older. I'd always been open with her about ayahuasca and iboga and my experiences with these, as I had the view that these could help her, but I didn't wish to force anything on her and wanted her to seek them out if and when she thought she was ready.
We finally arrived at this place in the mountains in Spain after night fall, we were a bit late and everyone was already settled. My girlfriend was stressed and nearly walked out, after learning that we were going to be drinking ayahuasca, prior to have a session in the temazcal. My sister and I settled her mind, and everyone relaxed a bit. We drank aya, which for me was interesting..I was highly sleep deprived, and found I was slipping into dream scenes, that I would keep snapping out of. I had not experienced this with aya before. After this ceremony, at around three in the morn, we went down to the Temezcal. It was an amazing place to be, to be out in nature, the stars were incredible out there. I thought the temazcal would be a half hour affair for some reason, and something like a sauna. I was wrong! What proceeded was an incredibly intense experience. Rocks had been put on a fire outside, and in the temazcal, a pit had been dug. Even when the rocks were put in there, I was really feeling the heat. Then the opening was closed, and it was pitch black, and we were all sitting around in a circle, there was very little room to move. The shaman and his helpers sung and drummed, and at intervals water was poured onto these hot rocks. Every time this happened, it got more intense, and more oppressive. I grew to be pretty uncomfortable, but just concentrated on my breath. We had a few intervals were water was passed around, along with tobacco juice we could snort. Afterwards, on exiting the temazcal, I finally purged, and felt good. We batched with a large tub of water and a bucket, and then walked back up to the ceremony room, to go to sleep. It was hard, but nothing on the next night. After a good and much needed sleep, we had some wholesome food and met the people. We were the only English people there, but we felt very welcome and at peace there, everyone was very warm and welcoming.
That second evening, we did some body work, working on stretching and posture, and some group exercises, often in pairs. Prior to drinking the ayahuasca, psilocybe mushroom chocolates or a little pinch of San Pedro cactus powder was offered to different people, according the shaman and their helper's views. I had a mushroom chocolate. We drank the aya, and after this went straight down the temazcal. Same routine as the night before, but longer and more intensive. We were in there for 4-5 hours. I found this very hard...this was by far the hardest physical and mental experience of my life. My flight or fight system was screaming at me, telling me to get the hell out of there, and a few times I felt close to losing it. It was definitely a case of mind over matter, using the power of the mind to keep charge over the more primal levels of mind and body which wanted to get the hell out of there. Having everyone there going through that together, and my sister and girlfriend, kept me strong. A few people let out animal like howls or screams. If anyone complained, the shaman would put more water on the hot rocks, and do another round of singing and drumming. One Spanish guy was losing it, he was crying and calling out to the shaman and his helper..."por favor...porrr faaaavor!!"...they had no sympathy. He said he was dying and the shaman's helper said "Well die then.". My sister and I did our best to comfort him, but it meant we had both given up our already very limited space, and this made me more uncomfortable. Time seemed to stand still, and this was absolutely like some kind of voluntary torture. I was impressed with everyone to be able to withstand that, I was impressed with myself, and my sister and girlfriend. If one can get through something like that, it made you realise you could likely withstand mos things life had to throw at you.
After we were finally free of the temazcal, some people were unable to move much. Many of the others bathed, and we all drank lots of water and sat and stood by the fire outside. Eventually we turned in for the night, and the next morning I had incredibly vivid lucid dream, and I meditated in the dream, which was the first time I tried this, and it was a very interesting experience.
We all felt really good the next day. However the transformation in my sister was incredible. She looked healthier than I'd seen her look, and she had this vivid glow about her, you could see it in her face. My girlfriend and my mum and people back home noticed it too; my mum could not believe the transformation in her, after dropping her off at the weekend. She described this weekend as a major turning point for her. She stopped taking mephedrone, and cut down substantially on cannabis. She rethought some of her choices of friends. She started taking up yoga and meditation, and is now passionately into her yoga, and she has a vegan diet. She seems to have been empowered, and has much more self worth, and is much more positive in her thinking and her approach to life. Interesting to note the ayahuasca was gentle with her this weekend, but it would put her on the path of plant medicines, and our next shared ayahuasca encounter would be an amazing experience for her, where she connected with the ayahuasca in in a very deep and profound way, encountering it as a beautiful jaguar entity. I had heard of such experiences before, but never fro someone I knew so well. Her transformation was a really amazing and inspiring thing to witness, it was greater than I could have hoped for, and it has forever changed my view of ayahuasca and how I wish to approach it in the future.