This is a short write-up of my first experience with DXM. Some would call it a horror trip, though I don't feel that way.
So, I've been a little frustrated, because my order of HBWR seeds wouldn't come on time. I was just reading a thread in a forum about DXM and got a little bit interrested. Since it was easy to get it from the next pharmacy (capsules which contain almost only DXM, no paracetamol, no other dangerous additives). BTW, I'm in no way advising to misuse pharmaceutical substances! It's probably not good for your health, so please don't take me as example.
I got 10 capsules à 22mg and 120ml juice, containing another 160mg DXM. I took 8 capsules first. This lead to a somewhat strange, but all in all enjoyable evening with my fiancée. Watching a longish lecture about start-ups online, talking. I felt quite high one hour after taking the substance. The head felt heavy and I felt quite dumb, though, I discovered I could still talk and make some sense. Walking became more and more of a challenge. It felt a bit like moving the flat around my body instead of the other way round.
Three hours in, I first had the impression that this is like the inversion of an LSD trip. Feeling extremely empty and squashed instead of feeling filled and extended. My fiancée decided to go to sleep. I guess I was still high like highlander, cause I decided to extend the trip. I guess, I was feeling the peak and wasn't satisfied yet with the dissociative effect (sounds like a bad idea... because it is!) So, I downed the two remaining capsules and the 120ml juice. The juice was ace - honey for the most part plus 5% alkohol. This made my total dose for the night - 380mg DXM. According to internet sources: for my 80kg - a solid 2nd plateau.
First I didn't feel much more than before. I had a strong urge to fill this emptiness in me with music. Turned on the PC and listened to different electronic music, but nothing made me happy. Tried some Bach - he failed me, too, this time. Then I discovered some turkish music with some added electronic rhythms. Now THAT was just what I needed. I spent 20 mins which felt like hours. I almost lost myself in the music, closed the eyes and started seeing a blue sphere which came near. Finally, I entered the sphere and lost the sense of my body. Something distracted me, though, so I decided to go to bed and listen to the sounds of the world outside.
Lying down next to my sleeping fiancée, I could suddently feel the ego disrupting effects with full strength. I was being squashed by something enormous, that would press down on me like I was a tiny crumble under the foot of a god. Strange enough, I welcomed this feeling. I was longing for the total destruction of myself. I was euforic to feel my bones crushed to dust and my whole existence squeezed into the earth, until I was feeling just a small atom of our planet. I felt me being one with the earth in a very final and brutal way. I felt like I had died and was now a part of Earth. I couldn't feel my body, couldn't move. Funnily, I was trying to revolve around my own axis to see the sun. But then I guessed, I'm probably too slow, so it will take a while. I went on, dreaming tens of different deaths, which all felt very comforting. Then suddently, I became myself again.
It was an extremely powerful experience: being killed over and over, shattered into dust, into atoms, into nothingness and then being reassembled to myself again. Two days later, this feels like a dream, but I do remember, how I vividly felt the urge to be disrupted under the eternal foot of god. And this is quite something coming from an atheist ^^
Hope, someone enjoyed this reading. I must say, I woudn't recommend DXM. It just doesn't feel healthy. I, nevertheless, value this experience - for me DXM will now always be LSD's shadow side.