Hello Everyone,

just want to share my experience I had till now with the spice.

I have been experimenting with the vaped spice/changa for few months. I do not remember most of what happened in my trips. I do gain my memory when I am back in the trip but then I lose it again. Since some time after the trips what I remember have been the feeling that it was unpleasant, that the spice was not what I expected it to be and that I won't do it anymore. So I was going back again and again to see and remember what was it exactly that made me feel this.

In the last trip (25 mg in one breath) I finally remembered more. The trip went like this: 1 hour before I was calming myself and stating intention of surrendering and letting happen whatever comes. I inhaled, held it for 15 sec. and then I am in this dark brownish-yellowish place with presence of some entities. And I have the feeling among the lines "oh no I was here before, I got fooled again into smoking it, now I remember why I didn't want to do it again". The entities mocking/torturing me, sending the message "we got you again you knew how is it gonna be and yet you came again". I do not how to describe it, but definitely some hostile energy from them, almost felt physically. I could not breathe freely (in all trips I could not breathe in a relaxed way). Then I got the feeling of being pulled (by the entity?) into I don't know where. I got absolutely frightened. I knew it was something terrible where I was being pulled into. Never experienced such terror before. I gathered all my resources to get out of it. It worked. I got out of it and immediately jumped out of my bed. It all happened maybe within 30 seconds, definitely it was very quick. It got me sober almost immediately. Still under the impression of what happened I was thinking, "now I know what was it that I kept forgetting, DMT is hell, will never do it again".

Now I am wondering if there is a chance despite these experiences to do it again and have a different experience.

I've no rite to say anything because I've never experienced anything like what your detailing.
However my feelings are that you should let it go and give it a miss.
Or at least take a long break and come back to it later..
Maybe down the line you will be in a different place mentally and that could effect your trips?
Good luck.

It seems possible that the trip is negative or frightening to you because of your perception of what you are seeing & feeling.

There is no doubt negative things can occur in hyperspace, but when you apply a negative blanket over everything it just makes things bad.

For example, say you encounter a large spinning pentagram with an entity in th center. If you are programmed to believe the pentagram is an evil thing designed to harm you, you will be scared & react accordingly, coloring your trip in a negative manor.
Now let's say you grew up a paegan, that same pentagram does not have the negative programming attached to it & you precieve it as something good, your trip is colored in a positive manor.

I find that things can get very strange very quickly with DMT, much more so than anything else I have tripped on, if you are not open to the possibilities & react negatively due to your conditioning throughout life to what you encounter every time, you will not enjoy it at all.

TLDR: DMT seems to be taking you somewhere outside your comfort zone & your ego is applying a negative spin because you are afraid & potentially very uncomfortable with what is occurring during your experiences.

Welcome,

Empower your own strength. Ime, they reflect what you put in. It's like a test of power. I tend not to be phased by any negative outcomes like those you describe. I tend to see them as an area that I need work in. They can get quite scary but the rewards are deep and treasurable.

Very sound advice infectedstyle

I was having experiences very similar to what trysen describes which is where my reply stemmed from.
Using that as a tool & deciphering what the fear & negative reactions stemmed from I was able to begin working towards bettering my life via working through a series of psychological walls, fears, & negative behavioral patterns I was previously oblivious to or did not want to face.

Thanks guys for your feedback. I appreciate it very much.

Do you have any suggestion how to "empower my own strength" and "decipher what the fear and negative reactions stem from"? How did you do it? You kept going back there until you got it?

I cannot really make any conscious connection between these experiences and my beliefs/conditioning/negative programming/mental state. I have been contemplating on that. It is difficult to decipher what is it about. I would say the experience/reaction seems quite irrational.

The only connection I am able to make is a physical one, i.e. shortness of breath after inhaling and holding the breath. After the trip I always need quite some time to bring my breathing to normal. It's never deep and relaxed during and after the trip. My normal everyday breathing is OK. And I feel also that the entities somehow affect my breathing as to not allowing me to breath properly by punching me (maybe kind of yanking too). I was wondering if it is maybe the route of administration that affects the experience (i.e. smoke causing shortness of breath causing unpleasant visions). I don't like smoking and it is always a challenge. I am usually able to take only one toke, because it hits so quickly and I am too exhausted to take another one. Maybe oral administration would be the way to go for me.

Bingo

It all hinges on how you perceive and react.

Going the oral route may or may not better suit you but you may run into very similar problems.

The conditioning thing I believe does have something to do with it. You said it yourself. Before you knew where the entity you encountered was taking you, you knew it was not good. You decided what you were going to experience was negative before it even happened.


I cannot say what will work for you as I am not you.
But, when I was in your shoes I noticed something. The breathing thing (which I often experience on cannibas, mushrooms, lsd, etc) seems to be a perception thing, likely your sense of time is skewed & you are hyper focused on your breathing so it seems as I I is out of the norm & that in turn causes a chain reaction of fear & panic, so all thought & reaction after that seems quick & irrational.

Practicing meditation regularly & learning to gain control over your breath & quiet/blank your mind for extended periods of time before going back into the experience proved very valuable, as without it it seemed that once the breathing fear subsided, another one would come into play & cause problems.

Dealing with each one individually & learning to overcome the fears you find (which tend to manifest themselves in normal life in various ways as well) has been very helpful in becoming more comfortable with DMT. Dealing with conditioning & negative associations & fears in normal life is vastly helpful because they seem to vanish once the behavioral or psychological pattern has been broken free of.

Also working with low dosages & learning that everything will be okay & you can trust the DMT is helpful as well. Learning to operate in that state I helpful as it allows you to get a Better understanding of why it is your reactions are occurring the way they are & how to step back from that frame of mind & think free of conditioning in an open & recptive manor towards whatever the experience throws at you.

Yeah, early on I had several experiences that felt like what you describe. It felt like an entity was restricting my breath of I did not move to places in my house it wanted to go and when I resisted it felt like a ping pong ball in my throat cutting off my breath until I followed the orders (weird red Xs and green + signs) I am on my hands and knees moving into a different room "it" wanted to be in. I was afraid because my motor skills were gone and the demands were intense.

At the point of giving up I decided to have one last go and again the same presence. This time however I humbly said aloud "I am here to learn. take me as your student" I kept my eyes closed and like that I was sent into that ineffable kind of journey that was amazing and I felt like it was the start of the journey into DMT even though I had been dabbling for weeks. For me I think it was my cavelier atitude up to that point and given my history of past drug abuse I think there was something that needed me to be sure I was not into it for kicks and could commit to respecting the molecule and not misusing it.

Chanting OM also can change the vibration and lift me out of negative places in hyperspace. Shouting and anger have never helped. Often I am the negative entity

I hope we have been of assistance.

You’ve been all really very helpful. Thanks a lot.

Good to know that you had similar experiences at some point. I think I will continue my exploration taking into consideration your advice/observations.

I've had this torturing that stood out once. I don't know anything about my breath at the time but confusion and not remembering what is going on. And something saying breathe. repeatedly. I think I was not paying enough attention. I really felt as if something was literally just shaking me around in frustration. I wouldbe afraid to go in again except I had the intention to just ask it what it wants. And had a completely different caliber of experience. I say give it a break. Come back when you are ready to face it. I do feel reminscent of my own trips. Basically what I meant earlier is to understand your fears could shape the entire thing. And go in when you have a more adventureous emotion.