Hello, I could write longer story about myself although I‘m currently preparing for long trip to Portugal and have to do a lot of work so I‘ll be brief. I had early interest in esoteric things and had tendency to resist chains of culture, slave consumerism, western addictions and norms. Being introverted personality I philosophised a lot about life, spent a lot of time being alone, reading books until vast opportunities of internet became available. I had very big interests in such things as UFO‘s, aliens, parapsychology, natural sciences, various religions which may have been spurred by my profound, strange childhood experiences such as sightings of orange humanoid figures emerging from walls, vision of glowing „tree of golden apples“, aliens and things that are could be considered anomaly. I fact I made paintings to share with community and find answers. Being kind of skeptic, atheistic person educated in materialistic science world view I could not yet understand what it was.
As I started studying in art academy a lot of things changed in my life, I was recovering traumas from times of school, I discovered artist students to be very warm, deep and intelligent people. It was great opportunity to learn things that I was really interested in, also to express myself without talking. At similar period I started also discovering psychedelics, fractals, virtual reality, quantum physics weirdness, reading works of Plato and Carl Jung, listening to Terence Mckenna, and Rupert Sheldrake talks, hidden things that would you expect to hear in mainstream media or school. I got right away big interest in DMT, salvia and magic mushrooms but after long researching, looking for safe ways to get psychedelics, experimenting with alternatives such as phalaris grass and I had my powerful trip only after 5 years on magic mushrooms which showed me a new way and in what delusional culture we live. If I had DMT trip it was caused probably by endogenous DMT, by disrupting sleep, listening to shamanic Steve Roach or dr. Jeffrey Thompson music or deep meditation in darkness. Now my dream is to try to discover full power and realms of ayahuasca/smoked DMT hoping to find meaning to my visions, what is nature of reality and consciousness, purpose for this complex and beautiful nature, evolution and technological progress, reasons of suffering that is just beyond imagination happening to millions of farm animals and poor people, is there life afterlife or beforelife, reason for existance of everything. Are we just products lucky chance, meaningless lumbering robots with super brains struggling to spread genes like R. Dawkins says or perhaps Universe is somekind of weird game created for somebody to enjoy, full of meaning, wondrous environments and experiences to have?
