So yesterday a friend contacted me about going to a festival in my old town i used to live,so i told him im down and he picked me up.

it was a celebration of dominican republics independence,we were there for some hours...lots and lots of peoples,gorgeous women too hehe

After time i went on,i noticed a few of my relatives.Now,this may not sound like anything....but i havent spoken to certain relatives in years so our relationship isnt on good terms.I avoided them for a while to avoid the awkwardness and after some time we left the festival back to my place.

Me and my girlfriend decided to smoke some DMT later during the night,although her pipe i mixed it with changa and regular DMT and i just had the regular myself.We both focused in on our intent for the trip and dived in.

I was expecting crazy geometrical patterns and things morphing,but no...absolutely not.Where the trip sent me was BACK into the festival i was at earlier,everything looked identical...there was no bizarre dmt twist to this festival...i felt like i was really back there again it was so damn CLEAR.

I felt like it was trying to tell me something here,not stop avoiding perhaps and confront what i keep pushing off...but thats the thing,im pretty fucking avoidant :/

After this trip session im still thinking about it trying to decypher it the way I should.

The way I see it, if it's important enough to you to cause strong feelings in you at the festival and then to reappear in your experience, it's something to be dealt with - whether that's by approaching the people or adjusting your perspective to not care so much and let things be as they are - acceptance and thus transmutation of awkwardness into nothingness.

The tension and awkwardness are really resistance...dissonance....you either want to interact with them and resolve things or you don't have an interest in interacting with them and the resolution is actually to accept that and move on without feeling guilty or worrying about how you may be conditioned to feel things 'should' be. Pick one rather than straddling the fence.....something I deal with too...

thank you for your post,very insightful!

I happen to have a mild form of aspergers,and with that i have come to realize that it makes me very avoidant on certain situations.So I completely agree with you about the resistance,theres so much of it.

I guess in a way i avoid some relatives as an act of self-preservation.Thank you again for your post,i will meditate on it.

Aspergers and other conditions, I believe, are not so much things that we just have - as a part of our natural person - but instead the diagnosis is an acknowledgement of a certain set of symptoms indicative of a certain set of behaviors that we have over time ingrained within ourselves/our programming....defense mechanisms. So 'having something' is just saying that you have gotten into the habit of dealing with things a certain way that is acknowledged in the scientific/medical community because it's exhibited by so many other people as well; and thus the condition has a name, etc - it's a thing. It's a thing because we're all human and we have similar ways of dealing with things - stresses, life in general, etc. So some of us 'have' aspergers, or anxiety, and so on.

So we pick up these habitual behavior patterns, but we do it without knowing the effect it will have on us - tension, resistance, stress. And, psychedelics are very useful to help us see and be alerted of all the things that are bothering us in life - disturbing harmony. So when things are causing dissonance in your life, we can adjust our behavior to achieve balance, flow, harmony; however you want to look at it. It's the constant process of homeostasis, which psychedelics seem to enhance.

I can really relate. I was afraid of confrontation and dealing with things - very avoidant - for a large portion of my life and I know the resistance and tension and all that very well. In the end it doesn't matter why you desire to avoid interaction - if that's what you desire, just own it. It doesn't have to be resistance to interacting with them. It could be resistance to accepting that you simply don't care to. That's how it's been for me at least. There was a certain way I thought things and myself should be and it was in misalignment with my real self/feelings and the reality of situations. Surrendering to how things are is helpful for allowing flow and change.

And my pleasure. I'm up late and just rambling and projecting my own stuff here I suppose. But if it jives, cool.