If you check my previous posts, I tried all my best to go 'break through'.
Now I am still shocked what DMT taught me and makes me cry sometimes.
first let me tell you about my situation.
I lost someone I loved from tragic accident 5 years ago. Still my life is haunted by the grief and sadness. So I believed, smoking DMT was the only way to get closer to the one I loved more than my life. (I believed this way b/c I read that DMT releases most at birth, death)
Not only my inner feelings, I had to relocate myself to different country after 20days..
Getting drugs in the new country is almost impossible and follows heavy criminal charges.
So this two combination of distorted mind set, and only given short 20 days pushed me to abuse DMT.
I know this was totally wrong way to start any drugs. I got so obssessed with DMT in a bad way. I smoked 3.5grams in 20 days. (3500/20 = average 175mg/day)
I start to smoke very little in the first week, and smoked intensively after 10days in order to break through, so at peak days, I probably smoked more than 200mg per days. I waited every one hour for each trip.
First week when I tried DMT, it was a great experience, travelling to other dimensions and unbelivable geomertic patterns gave me great psychedelic experiences.
After first week, I got so obssessed with going break through.
I told myself, "fuck my life, fuck me"
and loaded first 60mg in my GVG and smoked. Strangely, from that moment, DMT didn't have much effects on me other than giving me visual changes.
Please don't tell me my smoking method was wrong (I used GVG all the time, and after 10days of non stop smoking, my technique of smoking DMT got perfected so much I had pride in it)
When DMT effects got weaker, I started to wonder. It must be the tolerance. so I took 4 days off (God, it felt like a month to me), and loaded 70mg and smoked 5 times in one min. each inhale I tried to count 10 seconds and hold it in my lung.
![](/forum/FileProxy.ashx?src=http://www.chaishop.com/image/5977.jpg)
It's not exactly this, but very closer to this one
This time, for 1 min, I saw a colorful alien in different dimensions laughing at me.
as if the entity was mocking, Alien spoke to me "you will not get here, whatever you try to do, you will not going to enter this dimension."
After this message, I could walk, talk, eat while smoking 50mg of DMT.
(Yeah one time , I literally ate a pizza right after after smoking 50mg. (telling me, fuck this trip is failed again.)
For me stragely, this "entity" I cannot exactly confront or remember the face of him, but each successful trips, the same entity showed up and I could sense it's the same guy. After that message, smoking DMT didn't have any effects on me. and I got so depressed from this experience,,,
-------------- this is what I wrote in my previous posts-------------------
so, it was my last day, 5 hours before boarding on a plane, I smoked a little probably 35mg, and didn't really focus much in keeping my lungs, because for past 10 days, smoking heavy dosage didn't have any effects on me.
Then, mysteriously, DMT was effective, I couldn't walk and had to lie on a bed for 5 mins,
During that 5 mins, "the alien" showed up again and told me, "You didn't expected this!!! Since you are leaving soon, I am going to give you a good trip before you leave, enjoy it and see you next time when you get much better." That 5 mins, I felt like I was in heaven, You can't call it a breakthrough but my body was full of euphoric feelings, and I had happiest smile on my face.
DMT knew I was abusing it,,, DMT understood my situation...
After this whole experience, I belive the existence of spirits, and try to be a better person every day. I know I have serious problems with me, but that feeling....
someone is watching over me, gives me great comfort and consolation.
This seems psychotic and if other people hear about this I should be in a mental instituion
But somehow my mentality is stronger than before. I wish to confront him once again, when I overcome my problems.
Isn't it strange that heavy dosage didn't work at all for past 10days, and it was effective at the last moment with small dosage?????? unexplainable... shocked.