For now, I am just going to sit on my cornflake,
wearing a stupid corporate T shirt, and wait for
the van to come. HoHoHoHAHAHAHeHeHe!

I had several profound "I am God" experiences a few years back. As did many of my friends who also partook the spice at the time. I've also seen this mentioned by probably a dozen or so people on the internet now, maybe even more. These facts alone make it pretty intriguing -- people all over the place having, in many cases, experiences which are descriptively identical.

The first time this happened to me occured after my third spice trip, and the first spice trip by myself. It was a billion times more intense than any other DMT trip I ever had. I was so stunned upon returning that I went into a shock-like state, flailing about in my yard and howling uncontrollably in a pleasure so intense I thought it was going to kill me, or already had. The details of that trip can be found in a report I wrote about this and posted it here awhile ago, you can dig it up if interested...I don't care to repeat the whole thing. But it was my first complete dissolution into eternal infinity, though I had no idea what to make of it afterwards.

I also had quite an experience tripping on 10g Cubensis and insnuffulating +/- 300mg DMT at the peak. I died and became one with God, forever. It wasn't like I went someplace new; I was back to that familiar existence w/o form which I had merely forgotten about or something. I also believe I posted this trip report here as well, obviously there's a lot more details.

This went on and on and I eventually came to believe that the DMT state was the real reality and that it was somehow possible to transcend this world and to become a real God...and that this was possible for everyone. Thus my life took a new direction, which ended up with me getting in a lot of trouble for DMT and other psychedelics. I was a "cult leader" and used psychedelics to "brainwash", according to some sources.

Anyway, it's a long fascinating story, and today I don't pay any of that much mind. No matter how much DMT you take, you're always going to come back to this world. Whether or not the DMT world is real or true remains to be seen. It seems real, being as vivid as it is, but I take the spice with a shake of salt anymore...though it's true that I hardly ever use it, and haven't found it to be very pleasant or deep in years. I found that I had wanted to believe in the DMT world more than I was willing to approach it from a reasonable point of view. For all practical purposes, whether or not the DMT world is real or not doesn't matter. We live on Earth, not in hyperspace, and it's really a waste of energy to get your head too wrapped up in it.

[quote=theboysarebackintown!]I am quite familiar with many famous seekers and have somehow overlooked alan watts.

May I recommend my personal favorite: Chögyam Trungpa. Especially good if you want to ground all what you experienced in everyday reality.

Best introductory book which will surely ring some bells: Shambhala - The sacred path of the warrior

recommended movie: Serial Experiments Lain

I also have this "problem" except it happens with oral DMT AND smoked DMT (although I have not had particularly pure crystal). In fact, all DMT does is make me merge with the universal energy every time and as stated in this thread, higher/lower doses simply bring one more in/out of this field. In this state one can learn profound things.

In my experience, it's more so the case that the oneness decides to bring you into it via DMT and teach you things. I think I value this more than any elfish ball experience although I have not yet had the latter.

Of course you are God everytime. We are all God. All the time. Jesus Christ said: "Be still. And know that God is within you." What he means by "Be still" is obviously an expanded consciousness during meditation or a similar technique, where your body is asleep and your mind is greatly expanded. DMT is also such a technique. I am amazed how nearly everyone in this world has misunderstood this. God is not some judgemental and all so forgiving person that sends you to either heaven or hell. God is not a person. God is everything. God is the energy that makes life possible. God is inside you, all animals and all plants. Jesus Christ was a son of God. You are too. The only difference is that he understood how things were connected. You can too.

Amen....



..In the Apocrypha, there was a competing book for the end of the Bible. I believe it was 'Johns' Apocalypse'. Needless to say, Revelations got picked.

Anyway, John is talking To Jesus one day about Hell. He asks Jesus how A merciful God can condemn a mortal to 'everlasting' punishment. Jesus tells John that actually everyone eventually gets OUT of HELL and GOES to HEAVEN. AFTER THEY HAVE SERVED THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF TIME OR ENDURED EQUAL SUFFERING TO WHAT THEY CAUSED. Then he says to not tell anyone though because people would just sin more. I find this out after I quit drinking, smoking and otherwise having fun...



Believe in those who seek truth, doubt those who find it...


J

nice jason....very nice.

...you guys, there is a TON of wisdom in this thread. thank you, all of you, for such a beautiful compilation of depth. as for my own experiences of being god (and there have been many), the first time i had a slight moment of depression...i didn't want to come back.....it was so beautiful there....so much more than here....

the more i sat with this feeling...the more i thought about "the art of happiness" by the dalai lama....wherein he basically puts forth the idea that "those who are happy are those who are grateful for what they have, those who are unhappy are those who ruminate on what they lack". pretty simple.

i have so much. the spice allows me to have EVERYTHING....even if only for a short while. more importantly, it (for me) gives me a view of what i am a part of. what i will one day return to. what i can, in this life, aspire to. a oneness and a love that is impossible...yet possible because i have known it. the spice isn't going to solve any of my problems or tell me what to do directly. it is a mirror that shows me ALL of me and the more i look, the more i am able to see areas i can improve myself....areas i can be a better me...

and in so doing, i make this world and consciousness as a whole that little bit better as well....

thanks again for this righteous thread my brethren. this is a golden one...

LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

May I recommend my personal favorite: Chögyam Trungpa. Especially good if you want to ground all what you experienced in everyday reality.

He was quite the party Lama he took off his robes after being paralyzed on one side from a car crash him and his girl friend drunk. He drank constantly and died at age 49 I think.

He once got into trouble at a nude drunken party at his "retreat" a couple did not want to party so he sent a couple desiples to bring them to the party cohersed them into drinking and eventually tearing off all there clothes. The women was screeming for help they just laughed. Maybe he thought hay you picked me as the reincarnation a living budda but I can still party.

Janwillem van de Wetering describes taking him to "see the whores in A Damn" in his true book After Zen.

He had his girlfriend with him. The living budda and his girl friend down with the whores.

This is from 1 of his 3 books i enjoyed them in the end he comes to the US Zen retreat that get shut down in scandle. read book for more

hahahaha, MV. I've read the same books you have!

At one point in my life I had very serious aspirations to go to Boulder to see if I could study with Trungpa...and then I thought I'd do a LITTLE research first (this was in, I think, 1985--when you still had to go to the LIBRARY to try to research a subject). I happened upon several of the "drunk lecher" stories (which Van Weterling nicely compiles--but not back then...although I had read "The Empty Mirror" in the early '70's)...and at that point FOREVER SWORE OFF the idea of gurus!!

I just stumbled across them in used book store I read A Glimpse of Nothingness like it and ordered the other its a good twist your waiting for him to see the light but in the end reality wins. I realy liked the 3 Zen books never read the mystries.

M.V.

evening glory, I agree with your assessment of "God". However, there is a definite line in the sand and there are few on "my" side. I did not witness the infinite energy of creation(God), or become unified with the universe, these things came earlier in my journey. The particular experience that I am trying to get across is that I actually became(realized/remembered that I was) God. The zoom out knob in the microscope that is our momentary perspective was stuck on - out to infinity. It never stopped. One gets the feeling with absolute certainty that there is nothing further. This seems to be because the perspective shift is never static, as is with other types of shifts in consciousness. In this moment, I WAS GOD. I was without boundary and infinitly aware and conscious. With this immediately comes the fleeting thought (during and lasting) that everyone else is also God. This is one of those ideas where language simply fails the incarnate form. I do not mean to reiterate your stated truths. I attempt to communicate that it is possible to not only "feel unity with God" or "touch God", but it is possible to have a realization that lasts, and an experience that lasts the duration of the "trip" of actually being the boundless, infinite, eternal, omniscient, interdimensional creator. The definition of infinite is very important here. Yes, God is within everything, as everything is the imagination of "God". This truth is an obviously important one, but through my personal experience, each and everyone of us is actually God. This notion is very well spoken by Alan Watts. As previously posted on this thread. The infinitly expanding perspective is quite the mind F*ck. One may think- why put forth any effort to change anything? or - all is as I made it and every other option "is", so the reality that i am witness to is just a manifestation if infinite possibilities, all of which must happen and coexist. These things may be true or not. It doesn't really matter. I keep formulating the answer - i am here now, so i will do what i can to help others have love because it brings me happiness.

Regarding Chögyam Trungpa: he may had done lots of crazy and questionable things, but his teachings have the quality of a diamond. If you are interested in what he has to say, spend some weeks on the "Chögyam Trungpa Quote of the Week" mailing list:

http://live.shambhala.co...-of-the-week-learn-more/

I really like Chogyam Trungpa's works as well. Reading Shambhala blew my mind because it was so overwhelming. Chapters like the Genuine Heart of Sadness and the way he describes seeing the beautiful colours in nature and such were so spot on with how I felt I was shocked. Sure, he did questionable things but he was human like the rest of us. I recommend his books and teachings highly as well.

I haven't tried the spice yet but will soon, however I can relate to the God thing and the oneness of all from my shroom trips. Especially when coming down, the total feeling of peace and how together everything feels, and that everything is as it should be, and how even people I don't really care for are attached to me in a very special way. Another thing felt is the return to a child I become. I can remember as a child how special everything looked and how fascinating everything was then we grow up and loose it. but as a result of my shroom trips, these experiences are coming back to me, in a very special way. I listen to coast 2 coast AM at night and they had an expert on ancient civilizations and he believes they all started as very spiritually advanced and then degrade in time, much like children do as they become a so called adult.

One thing that troubles me about an impersonal God, like the Tao or something, is I was kind of cool with the idea of a personal God that was very much concerned with my welfare. It was a comforting feeling to know there was this celestial parent that was looking out for me. Okay, it wasn't cool feeling the disapproval when I was looking at porn and such, but anyway.

Now my idea of God is like an impersonal energy. How can one have a meaningful relationship with Energy? I suppose one could connect with other people and animals and such, but every person has their flaws, and can't represent the original conception of God that I had.

For me the idea of an impersonal God is hard to accept because I experience order in the world and I cannot understand how order could manifest from something that has no qualities (like the Void). And even if the world could be self-creating (or ever-existing as part of a Void-World duality), where do the rules - which keep our world working and make our very concepts possible - come from?

It does not have to be a choice between a personal and impersonal God.
God's infinite imagination is all there is. It is infinite. All is contained within.
There can be no "outside", otherwise, it would not be infinite.

the rules of this universe could be explained by a simple equation.
Chaos + Infinity = Chaos & Order

I do not refer to a chaos of unintelligence. Rather, a truly infinite Chaos of Divine Imaginative
Energy, and Intelligence.(God) "God's" infinite nature mandates that there are no rules, while dualistically, rules are also manifest. However, God is not restricted by any of the rules that we as humans are. As everything exists in the infinite imagination of God anyway.

The boundary between the ideas of chaos and intelligence must be dissolved.

Infinite...never ending...all inclusive...eternal...without boundary.

out of this must come eventually order. As we see it around us in this world.
the rules that keep the world spinning are simply a manifestation of infinite energy's existence.

At first glance it seems order cannot come from chaos, however the true meaning of infinite must be included in the discussion. Chaos expressed infinitely, must render order while at the same time, rendering disorder. Maybe not at the same time or place, but when discussing these topics, time, locality, and what we actually can perceive of any given situation must be thrown into question.

cellux
Danza

From what I understand Chogyam Trungpa had a VERY strong shamatic aspect in his early life that was most likely one of the reason he seemed very unorthodox.

I was making some observations on his life and what we know of him thru historical record. I hope I have not given anyone the impression that I am better than he or any other human upon this earth because that not my beleif.

Besides we all know the Bufalos tail never comes to pass the window. You will see the big horns first then the big head. Then you will see front legs, massive body, rear legs with enouromus holves.

But that is all the tail shall never pass into your view or be seen at all.


M.V.

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The thing that bugs me is that I thought IT was going to show me the answers. This is before I even knew of the Nexus, before using the spice. I was certain of its 'end-all-be-all'-ness.

I know better now, though, don't I?

Some questions got answers. Just as many new ones were posed.

The Buddha says everyone has 83 problems. You can work very hard and maybe solve one. But the moment you do, another will immediately slip into it's place. The trick is to ACCEPT that you will always have these problems. That is one of the first steps to freedom.


I guess we all have 83 questions, too...

This community knows alot and offers alot. Some of our questions are answered but we all still seem to have alot of the same ones floating about, their question marks intact.

I go to sleep at night and think, 'well, maybe after I leave this body I'll get to browse the owners manual.'

I probably got to before I got here. I just don't remember.

You'd think that in Godmode you could change the rules a bit. Just a bit.






<sigh>

J
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