Welcom luvinlivinmylife (maybe I'll call you LLML for short?
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It is a totally normal thing to be scared of the molecule; it is one hell of a powerful substance.
That being said, it is also an amazing molecule that offers an endless exploratory experience. And I do mean endless!!!
I would encourage you to try to "feel the call" from DMT...
This is not something that's easily explained in any linear language like English.
It is a feeling that the molecule is ready for you to partake in it once more.
It's a very subtle feeling, yet profoundly there if you're attune to it.
Even with saying that, there's been times when I felt the call, took the plunge back into hyperspace, only to have an entity, or entities, saying to me (more telepathically than actually saying out loud), "oh, so it's you again? What the heck are you doing back here so soon?" Only to have them twist me up into 9th dimensional pretzels, or shatter me into millions of little neon-shiney pieces, or turn me inside out & upsidedown & directions that simply don't exist on this plane of consensual reality at all!
I am grateful for all of my DMT experiences though, whether beautiful or terrifying or stupifying or awe inspiring...
I wish you the best of luck with your journeys...You certainly came to the right place.
To get along well here at the nexus, just read the attitude section & stick to it & you'll be good as gold!
Peace.
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
Unseen by all those who fail
In their pursuit of fate