I have no idea how to start, but here it goes
Thanks and apriciation, community!
Not long time ago i was born, growing up in a small village near the sea. Mostly, isolated from the villagers because their mentality did not match mine. Neither did either party accept the other.
Even tho some people would say i have had a bad childhood or w/e, i dont find so. In my opinion, every negative will only increase the apriciation for the positive ahead.
But i cant say i was happy all the time, ofcourse not. Probably less then others, but i dont regret the position, i grew up in. All i do regret is blaming my parents for placing me there, even tho now i apriciate how it all went. (note to self, call parents)
So i went to highschool, which is 15 KM away from the village, and even tho friendships started to grow, and other things. I was living like a robot. And i dont mean working. I mean i was NOT AWARE i was living.
I became aware when? When we suddenly moved, to a completly different setting. From europa, to the middle east. It was then when i found my passion (growing [in all ways], and acting as a catalyst ).
My life was finally given a meaning, because i found a passion and like minded people.
Tho every year, i became more seperated from the status quote goals of life. And always am unable to explain it clearly. So i packed my bags and left the country, back to europa. So i could be alone and find out , without others (family mostly) pressing their ambitions onto me. (basically forcing their idealisation, or selling it)
What happend was, i had to work etc. so i did. It felt good being active. But over time, the thought of endless slavery. Made me go insane. So what did i do? I got into weed. And before i know it i was puffing to escape every single moment from dawn till dust.
The journey of weed was not all to bad tho, because i have had found my long lost brother (thats how it feels) , and together we went through this weed journey. Untill, i couldnt handle it anymore. And i shutmyself down from everyone.
Smoking weed, and just reading.. Everyday. ( i didnt use any drugs except xtc a couple of times).
But the weed and neighbours were enough to induce a kind of paranoia in me.
Then finding this site, opend up the reality of drugs for me.
Discovering that a spiritual attitude combined with these psychedelics , would enhance my journy ( now i think its all just part of the journey).
So i did the shrooms, the first 10 grams did not do anything but induce a good high. It was for testing the water, but i did learn some (obvious) lessons. Later that night i took another 15 gr of truffles . Those did the trick.
I was doing this thing called, doing by learning (as i saw was mentioned on this forum). Also learning by writing (im happy i wrote some stuff down) and the drawings seemed so.. mystical? I dont know if its the right word.
Explaining what i learned through out the trip would be another essay. But i mained alot of philosphie when i was tripping. And learned my major lesson after the trip (about paranoia).
So, i like the effects of drugs. But it was good i overdid the weed. Because i have respect for shrooms and such now.
Thanks for reading my post. Im glad to become a part of this community!
Build you'r own dream, or some one else will hire you to build his/hers. (not my quote)
You&Iverse