Hi,

I wish to look more into myself and come out of my 'shell', I am very isolated and I deep down feel the love for family,friends,etc (mostly family), but I can't really express it, being isolated for the last many years and abusing some drugs, and I've been diagnosed with 'Asperger syndrome', I use to be able to socialise,think,talk,act,etc normal but now I'm totally half alien like. And well, maybe if I might as well give a small bit of DMT or AYA a try?.

Would it help?, DMT?. Could DMT help open myself more up? I looked up on dmt-nexus and someone said they have autism, and explained they've been 'in a box', and that's how I feel. And the DMT opened the box for them.



I'm just really asking here, like, at this stage what should I do with myself, I wish to be a better person, to open myself up, to unwrap myself and that sort of thing?. the DMT I ordered is 'Hawaiian Acacia confusa Rainbow Rootbark POWDER', should I try DMT or should I just stick with mushrooms?


And Does anyone know, how I myself can better my psyche?, such as a better inner set and setting?

Thanks.

Ayahuasca and DMT are very different - if you go the Ayahuasca route, I would especially recommend having a facilitator of some kind who knows about your situation - any type of mental instability can be helped or made worse by psychedelics, so I think you need to be more careful in those situations - at the least have a trusted friend who can kinda monitor your progress and make sure you stay on the right track.

The acacia rootbark powder you have does not sound like it is ready to be smoked... I may be wrong but I think you gotta extract that first...

In your position I would recommend smaller doses at least at first to see if they are benefiting you or not. If you went the Ayahuasca route I would suggest starting with vine-only brew first (not DMT in it). I think for something like aspergers the gentler vine-only brew would be safer (I recommend this for beginners anyways - good introduction to Ayahuasca).

Make sure you understand the risk before hand though. You might be in a more delicate situation then some other people, and while I think psychedelics can help you, I think you need to be especially careful.

Hi,
Thank you very much for the response.
Yes, I fully understand that I must proceed with caution if I take DMT or Aya, and like as you said to be careful, I fully understand that and all that.

But like, I never noticed how 'in a shell I was', and my 'autism' is getting worse, I've been on medication for years, and that combined with social isolation,etc... its adding up... I wish to open myself up on a serious note or at least try.

So for the ASD kind sir, what should I take? Thank You.

I dont have experience with ASD so I couldnt tell you what path would be most helpful...

I have heard a few stories related to ASD where psychedelics seemed to help them be more functional - taught them how to work with themselves better and understand how they relate to others... ASD never went away in those cases, but became more manageable. I think the cases I read mentioned Ayahuasca but I honestly cant remember well enough to say for sure...

Hi, thank you very much.

In this case, the ASD is sometimes like the picture below:
its like I'm trying to find a missing piece, I realise it and I'm like why am I doing this? what's the point? who cares. but down to serious business, like could you give any advice to me about taking DMT for ASD?
Thanks.

Its like my brain is filled with all this 'crap' and 'junk', just how can I get out of it.

As an aspie with plenty of entheogenic experiences, I would like to be the first to tell you hat you're barking down the wrong path. Entheogens are racecars, not GPS systems. They can accelerate your progress on the path you are on but they cannot take you to where you want to go. I've learned goads of things about myself, my "Condition" (If you would dare to call it that-I just consider myself to be a strong INTJ who needs to work on his people skills), and my general purposes in this universe of ours. Alas, they absolutely SHOULD NOT be taken lightly and should not be depended on for guidance. You are the light which illuminates the path which must be followed, not the drugs. YOU are the one who wields the power to make a difference in YOUR life, not the drugs. DMT, LSD, MDMA, whatever you call them, they're all the same-just drugs. They can show you some cool pictures and introduce you to some colors you've never been able to conceptualize before, but they cannot treat your/our condition and make it easier to connect with others. In fact, I have found that psychedelic use can make me even more introverted and detached from others in general than I had been before a session. You won't find any answers from psychedelics alone which you do not already know in your own heart.

Have you ever tried meditation? Do you meditate on a daily basis? I have found that a daily meditation regimen can help me center myself and my mind and better allow me to connect with others on new levels. Also, it sorta cuts down on that fear thing.

OH yeah, the fear... I'm sure you know all about that. Whenever I stare into the eyes of another for an extended period of time (which others would consider semi-normal for interpersonal communication) I experience an intense wave of fear. I feel as if I am allowing my soul to be left vulnerable before the attention of another to be broken in pieces and am filled with a surge of fear mixed with fight-or-flight impulse. Despite years of tackling this fear head on by meditating and forcing myself to pay constant attention to facial expression, features, and those oh-so-devilish eyes of others and in doing so I have learned to better cope with body language of others. Alas, that stuff doesn't come intuitively to me so I have to continuously treat the other as a puzzle of mixed and muddled communication which I need to solve while dealing with them in a friendly manner without letting on to the fact that i'm silently analyzing every aspect of how they're communicating themselves to me. It's extraordinarily difficult but the ONLY WAY to connect with others and get out of your head is to TRY TRY TRY TRY and if it doesn't work KEEP ON TRYING. The only way to develop better people skills is to spend more time communicating with people, not drugs.

A source of help which has helped me along my path to gluing together the fragments of my extroverted side has been through seeing a therapist. I know it may be scary to let a complete stranger into your most intimate and troublesome and deepest thoughts and that it may seem impossible to open up at first (my god it was definitely difficult for me), but, for the love of GOD keep with it! Eventually you will learn to trust your therapist and they can help you improve your condition! IT sucks being different, but it's also really awesome once you learn how to use your differences to your advantage. It seems like your post is a call for help and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! We all need help, autistic or not. Everyone is shuddering and suffering underneath their paper-thin skin, afflicted with goads of god-knows-what kind of trauma, illness, setback or depressing disposition. Every single person you meet is suffering in a hell all their own while simultaneously reveling in the warmth of a paradise all their own. You are no different, you just feel different (as does everyone else!). Seeing a therapist can help you better handle your social anxiety and help you along the way to better relating to others. After all, an education in counselling and psychology give counsellors/therapists invaluable insight into the machinations of the human mind, making them invaluable resources for improving your own understanding of your own condition and those of others around you. Yup. Autism is a cold, creul place to be in but it doesn't always have to be that way. Getting help and counselling has been one of the best decisions I have made in my path to better understanding myself and others.

One detail of your original post which interested me was that you stated that you used to be "normal" before you isolated yourself. I am interested as to how you isolated yourself and if your isolation increased after or before you began abusing drugs (I would also like to know which ones you were abusing). I have found that substance abuse is one of the most antisocial behaviors I have ever engaged in; it did nothing but only serve as a means of deepening the divide I perceive between myself and others. The only lesson I have learned through countless bouts of drugs was that drugs are not the way to breaking out of my shell. Integrating myself into this world of the living (usually via writing), meditating, and constantly socializing and trying my hardest to form bonds with others has worked wonders with regard to better understanding other human beings. I would highly recommend that you abstain from drug abuse and focus your energy and attention on trying to develop better interpersonal communication skills. Read some books on body language and social skills, chat your heart out on the nexus chat (chat rooms are a wonderful way of developing communication skills without the stress of having to deal with people in person), see a therapest, center yourself, and ultimately TALK WITH PEOPLE MORE. I have found that my perceived social isolation only exists when I allow it to exist and when I let it exist. All you need to do to break out of your shell is to abandon the idea that you even had a shell in the first place! You're a normal, peaceful, loving human being just like everyone else. You have issues just like everyone else and are trying to overcome them, just like everyone else. You are a kind, compassionate, caring human being who would love to open him/her self up to the world but some how finds him/her self caught up in some odd arbitrary self-imposed 'shell' which you are trying to break out of, just like everyone else. Grow up and give up the ghost, drop the drugs and get out of your shell (I know it isn't as easy as that--You just have to convince yourself that it is).

Another technique which I have found to be useful in my quest to understand others is gardening. In fact, I have found that my ability to relate to strangers (AKA friends I haven't met yet) has remarkably increased along with my skills as a gardener and my knowlege of the plant kingdom. IMO and IME I have found plants to be easier to relate to than people and a stepping stone on my path to understand people. There is something significant about raising a plant from seed, nursing it from a small sapling to a tremendous tree, and cherishing the warmth in your heart which naturally comes about from taking care of other life forms. If you wish to better understand other carbon based life forms, I would highly suggest growing and tending to other carbon based life forms. I have learned goads of important knowledge from the plant kingdom which no human would ever be able to teach me about the importance of taking care of life and learning from other life forms as you both grow and blossom with respect to time. If you haven't already, I would highly recommend starting a garden! Doing so has accelerated my social growth by lightyears and has allowed me to relate to humanity in ways which I have never before thought possible!

You say that your brain is filled with "crap" and "Junk" and you seek a way out of it. I would like to be the first to say that your viewpoint is NOT the way to go if you seek to break out of your self-imposed "shell". I have found that disregarding the layout of my mind as detriment has been detrimental to my social development. Loving the animal within, loving the layout of the mind and seeking to spread your own quirky wacky world to others is the way to go if you seek freedom from your self imposed social isolation. If you think negatively of your thoughts then you will radiate a negative vibe, encouraging others to ignore you entirely, cementing you in your own private thought prison which you think DMT can bust you out of (news flash: IT WON'T!!!).

IF you are hell-bent on trying to use psychedelics for treating ASD symptoms, I would highly recommend structuring your sessions far apart from each other with a heavy emphasis on integration. I have found integration to be the most crucial aspect of my journeys. Tripping is all cool and dandy, but it is integrating the experience and using it to better your understanding of yourself and others that has allowed me the most insight into myself, my condition, and the lives of others. If you are naive to psychedelics and wish to use them for therapeutic effects, I would highly recommend taking them in the presence of a trusted therapist or close friend who has experience with psychedelic therapy, counselling, and has a genuine interest in your well being and seeks to help you get better. I have read wonderful stories of people with ASD having marked and long lasting improvements in social anxiety and relating to others after ingesting MDMA and some psychedelic use may be beneficial to people with ASD. However, I strongly urge you to not view these drugs as magic bullets with the power to break you out of your shell with one strong burst or three. They can point you in the right direction, but YOU and only YOU have the power to undergo the journey.

If you'd like to discuss any issues arising with respect to your ASD and psychedelic use, please feel free to PM me! I am always free to answer any questions and concerns you may have with these issues and would love to help you the best I can! As an aspie myself I know fully well how wacky, wild and weird ASD can be and how much of a blessing in disguise it really is if you allow yourself to view it as such! I wish you all the best in your travels and hope that you are following the path which is right for you.

-Godsmacker

I've found that taking large doses of dimenhydrinate cause a sort of mild amnesia that help me to forget recent hardships and allow me to be peacefully in the present, however the effects have a half-life of a couple days, so it's not something you want to do if you don't have a lot of time to set aside for it.

Otherwise, as a psychedelic I'm not sure DMT is particularly better for your purposes than something like LSD which is much easier to ingest and doesn't require preparation such as extraction, which is what you would have to do if you want to inhale DMT. Yes the preparation is a rite of passage, but if you've never used psychedelics before it might be better to start with something like LSD, MDMA, or even weed. I'm not sure what you have experience with, but all of these drugs produce different altered states that deserve respective appreciation.

That being said, I 2nd Godsmacker's sentiment: Using psychedelics is an adventure that allows you to better understand yourself and reality. Ideally you use them because you're curious and want to expand the scope of your experiences as a conscious being. You could use them to learn to accept who you are rather than to try to overcome some perceived shortcoming. IF psychedelics can produce the sort of psychological healing you're looking for, then it will be independent of your attitude. On the other hand, if you are asking too much from the experience, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Therefore it is safer for you to go into this with a good attitude: Do it for the sake of adventure, don't do it out of desperation.

Just for the record, on one of my many DMT journeys, a giant monster-slug-like-creature took a huge chunk of my head away with one big bite of its sluggy mouth.

This picture here is how I felt for the remainder of the trip.

It literally felt like half my head was missing.

For me, an old, seasoned psychonaut, it was no big deal, but whenever I experience those kinds of phenomena during a trip to hyperspace, I always think to myself, no wonder people get so freaked out by this stuff!

Just a friendly warning.