I measured out 1 level tsp of Syrian Rue seeds and ground them up in a coffee grinder. I rolled up the resulting powder between 3 squares of tissue paper and swallowed them with a gulp of cool-aid quickly but carefully so as not to tear the single-ply barrier between my tongue and the noxious substance. I didn't think to fast beforehand as my psychedelic experiences tend to be more on the spontaneous side these days, but I hadn't eaten a huge breakfast either. I spent the next hour or so running some errands, after which I could feel the first effects of the Syrian Rue. In a wooden chair in my bedroom, I vaped some unknown yet typical dose of DMT using The Machine. The first thing I noticed was that the come-up of the experience was much more gradual, taking several minutes rather than several seconds.
The next phase of the trip is a blur to me, but it consisted mostly of my consciousness trying to regain any sort of foothold in reality. The process was very much like being born (I imagine) as every experience seemed so new. There was an overload of information, and as I took in this information I had conscious control over its algorithmic mapping to my outputs (self-reprogramming).
But my ultimate goal was to experience the beautiful day outside while on DMT, so I cautiously made my way outside, making sure not to forget my keys and trying to appear as normal as possible (I have 3 roommates but I didn't run into any of them). I was listening to music through headphones. When I got outside the real magic began. I walked in a direction where I knew I would find a grassy area to plop myself down in. The first tree I encountered was possibly the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It undulated in the breeze, and the sunlight, along with the natural coloring of the tree, created complex patterns that were literally jaw-dropping. The experience of shifting perception resulting from moving through space was incredible, like a trip through hyperspace. As I walked along the woodline I took in the beauty of every living thing, the color of the outdoors; It felt very much like I was being romanced. I was in love, and I felt such freedom and appreciation. Every perception was like a handshake between two conscious beings, and I saw a much bigger picture of the evolution of consciousness. To the extent that I am conscious, plants are conscious on a much slower timescale, and with time greatly dilated, I felt like I was also conscious on this timescale. As I sat in the grass, I was pummeled by realizations, and it seemed like many hours had passed. I was shocked when the song ended, indicating that I had only been outside for around 5 minutes. The clouds looked like transforming machines. They were colorful and sharp, as though composed of crystals. After another 10-20 minutes of this, I felt the love starting to fade. Perhaps the sun simply went away, but everything seemed a little more gloomy, or at least a little more normal. I think the DMT was wearing off, or already had. In any case it was very hard to identify line where the DMT effects ended and the Rue effects began.
I went back inside and vaped a bit more (a "monster rip" is what I termed it in my head). The process of rebalancing my consciousness was very much the same, with the main difference being that I had done it before. This sensation followed me outside again. I felt old, experienced, wiser. I felt vast amounts of knowledge enter my mind, processed by an ever-growing intelligence. All of my fears and ambitions melted away, and I realized that there is an intrinsic limit to intelligence in the universe. I put my mp3 player aside after discovering that I was unable to comprehend how to navigate its menues. I realized (and with driving a bit later) that so much of my daily life is carried out by muscle memory, and that when I am given conscious control of such tasks the whole process suddenly breaks down. I sat in a different patch of grass, this time near the road, and watched cars go by for what seemed like hours (probably only minutes). I saw how small we are, how we evolve to fit our environment and vice versa, how life forms from nothing always, how intelligence is a turbulent process: It arises as a small chaotic motion when the conditions for a particular type of complexity are present and snowballs into a hurricane that encompasses everything it encounters and grows at an exponential rate. I saw death as a part of this growth, as a purposeful function of life on Earth as a whole rather than as the end of an individual human life. I took off my shirt and lied in the grass. I felt the sun baking me, my eventual death approaching, the decay processes starting to set in. Seeping into the grass, my body became a fixture of that particular place on Earth, and I imagined myself lightyears away, seeing the pattern of my body on the Earth's surface as a mere geological feature, wondering what natural process resulted in such a pattern, unable to fully comprehend that I was in fact part of an ecosystem that is broadcasting its sentience by the only means possible so far. I hummed slightly as I breathed: It was the constant droning of a chemical manufacturing plant that converts chemical energy into consciousness. This sort of thinking (themes of life, death, age, intelligence) went on for what seemed like much longer than it actually was.
Eventually I got up and walked home. I felt like I had been alone for a long time, and I called up a friend and awkwardly persuaded her to go for a walk with me around the lake. I recharged my brain's DMT levels before driving to meet her, which was a carelessly terrible idea since psychedelics reduce our ability to value human life (in particular) thus allowing us to put ourselves and others at risk unnecessarily. The drive seemed safe, but again my lack of inhibition caused by undue trust of my abilities was the origin of the danger. The walk around the lake was lovely, and by the end (after an hour or so) I felt more or less sober again. Midway through the walk I started to feel nauseous. At first I thought I might vomit eventually but, as the nausea plateaued, I found that throwing up was avoidable.
All in all, it was a wonderful experience. It was much less like what I expect from DMT and much more like what I expect from, say, acid (in quality, not duration). I was surprised that the individual DMT doses did not last very long. I expected the vaped DMT to last as long as the Rue effects, but rather it had a half life of about 20 minutes after it's come-up of about 5-10 minutes.
Every day I am thankful that I was introduced to psychedelic drugs.