 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 182 Joined: 30-Jun-2013 Last visit: 19-Jan-2024
|
I hear of DMT's great potentiality to help one break the habitual cycle of addiction. I've personally found it to no avail. The created ego which manifests in the darkest corners of my psyche is just too afraid to experience a breakthrough on the DMT experience. I've smoked it many times, but all have been to no avail, to afraid to take in that last, long breath which will take me beyond the mind. Instead, i become stuck in a halfway point, leaving me somewhat confused, as i see the light, but am not the light, this is when the ego is still identified with. Frustration and anger follows, as i know thats where i need to be, and in every desired effort i make, is hindering my process, i simply am the light, and the desire to become it is whats stopping me, despair, shame and guilt follow, i go deeper into darkness and the light begins to disappear.
Its a funny thing what the monkey mind can do when you identify with it. To penetrate it with the light of consciousness is my strongest desire, but until that point, fear and insecurities hinder the action for change, and so i continue to manifest a reality which is not fully me, but rather feels like a dream which i am slowly awakening from, but to do so, must take some serious steps in changing the habitual patterns of spending hours on computer games. Used as an escape from reality, i lose consciousness and fall back into a darker space of the unconscious mind as i become absorbed in the virtual reality, thoughts manifest without my knowing, and i deal with the consequences when i get off the computer.
Arguments with my girlfriend over my addiction creating her pain as she watches me suffer, angers thrown onto the world, despair and insecurity inside me wriggle away, burying themselves under the layers and layers of unconsciousness, the body becomes to feel nothing, the energetic plane of the body feels twisted and confused, all a representation of my psyche.
One day, courage will overcome fear, and that day will come, until then, I continue to journey on the inward search for happiness and truth, knowing what needs to be done, yet not willing to see the truth and act on it. Love and peace - Cazman043
|
|
|
|
|
I compulsively post from time to time
Posts: 1123 Joined: 27-Apr-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
|
Thank you so much for saying what is on my mind. I know a little of how you feel. I spend most of my life behind a screen. I feel like i'm not really living. I enjoy games now without feeling guilty because I remain a sense of balance. Have you tried looking into other compounds besides DMT? It's a daunting experience and a bit too much of a leap ime. I find other long-lasting psychedelics that are a tad milder to be very helpful and useful. Even some mdma,2cb is a good reset back into reality.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member

Posts: 3135 Joined: 27-Mar-2012 Last visit: 10-Apr-2023
|
Go outside. Sometimes that's all you need to do. "Energy flows where attention goes" [Please review the forum Wiki and FAQ before posting questions]
|
|
|
 ☂

Posts: 5257 Joined: 29-Jul-2009 Last visit: 24-Aug-2024 Location: 🌊
|
For some reason I never was addicted to drugs...but pretty addicted to video games for a time. Disconnecting my gaming account helped...and good books...It's fun on occasion but I realized I definitely don't like the effect it has on my mind, and that once I get into a book or instrument (or whatever) it blows gaming out of the water anyways. I notice that after just a few days that weird impulsive urge to lose yourself in it for hours on end goes away once my time is filled with something else...The dopamine must balance out I suppose, leaving me wondering why I was even enjoying it so much in the first place. Not all games are quite so bad but you get the picture. DMT isn't necessarily a magic pill that is just going to cure everyones addiction in 5 minutes, as you know. It starts and ends with you. I think the longer lasting psychedelics are usually more conducive towards this sort of work, but you have to put in the effort. Eat good, meditate, yoga...just ignite some new passion in your life and kindle that flame, watch it grow. Now if only DMT cured nexus addiction...It might just make that worse 
<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1893 Joined: 18-Jan-2008 Last visit: 26-Sep-2023
|
DMT has helped me break habits before such as smoke smoke, internet, game game,internet, smoke weed game weed smoke and so on but its not an instant fix it lets you feel what its like without the habits and that you dont need them, could be seen as a form of OCD. In which case I think as others have said a less dramatic and intense psychedelic could help. Maybe a low-medium dose of psylocibin mushrooms outdoors somewhere. Go lie in a field somewhere on sunny day with some comforts, turn your phone off and just be. Or take some mdma (or dont take anything at all) and go to a gig, club or festival and feel again what its like being among a crowd of people, reconnect with the tribe.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 182 Joined: 30-Jun-2013 Last visit: 19-Jan-2024
|
Infectedstyle wrote:Have you tried looking into other compounds besides DMT?. I do Magic mushrooms too, i used to take LSD and MDMA but have decided to steer clear from man made chemical compounds and try and go on a more organic route. Mushrooms help, but a lot of the time i get taken into a hellish like place because I'm not being true to myself, and have to see the ugly side of me, this can become very… Confusing at times, if i identify with what is being shown to me, rather than simply accepting that is a part of my reality, and letting it go. All a beautiful journey my friends, i thank you for sharing your interest, experience and wisdom with me, conversing with likeminded souls is always a joyful experience.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1045 Joined: 12-Mar-2010 Last visit: 11-Jun-2024 Location: Urf
|
Moar harmalas. From the unspoken Grows the once broken
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 104 Joined: 12-Jan-2011 Last visit: 20-Jan-2025
|
maybe consider microdosing LSD, I'm currently applying it and it seems to work pretty well for me. I microdose on 10microgram , just below the amount that would start to make it uncomfortable for daily work and doings. best choice I made for years I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 202 Joined: 14-Oct-2014 Last visit: 19-Feb-2016 Location: UK
|
Cazman043 if you aren't aware of this book, then I would strongly suggest you read it:
Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now
The author has become a spiritual teacher after suffering a severe mental breakdown in his earlier life, and specifically discusses the areas you mention, and how to identify the ego without letting the ego subconsciously fight back and reject your intentions. He discusses in great detail how to disentangle yourself from the mind and the addictions and depressions it seeks, and how to learn to become more in tune with your own consciousness and the search for personal happiness.
I have read the book numerous times and there's very little I disagree with, and much of it overlaps with the afterlife, one consciousness experiencing itself and so on, and is a fascinating read.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member

Posts: 4804 Joined: 08-Dec-2008 Last visit: 18-Aug-2023 Location: UK
|
didnof wrote:Cazman043 if you aren't aware of this book, then I would strongly suggest you read it:
Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now
Legit! Though I preferred "A New Earth". Seemed a bit less cryptic.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1903 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 25-Jan-2024
|
Everything within balance. I don't see any problem playing video games in our current life while also engaging with psychedelics, as long as they are separate from each other and are moderated. Both have their benefits. When I was younger, video games were fundamental to my daily routine. Mostly PC games. It wasn't until I got a GC.. and that was the day I began to cling to playing almost non-stop. I found after playing my sense of focus was greater than before playing (mild benefit I can see from VG usage.) Sometimes I would blow up emotionally if I didn't get to play. So I would try to moderate it by just playing when friends were over.. to no avail. When I reached the age of 15, I then bought an Xbox because all my friends had one. I'd play online with them all the time. It was awesome! This was before I even knew about the potential of psychedelics. After about 2 years of playing that, I began to get really angry with myself while playing.  It wasn't until friends came online I would perk back up. I started having issues with my sense of control and ended up throwing the controller many times if I was playing alone.. pulling my hair and what not. The Xbox I had started having problems turning on (RROD) and connecting online.. definite sign I needed to stop playing.  So I took a break for about a few weeks, did other activities as substitutes, and it worked out okay, but I'd still fall into that angry, stressed position when I got back onto playing. My family knew about it at the time which had a greater subjective POV. I was around 17 when I decided to just give it away. It felt really good! This was also the same time I started to utilize cannabis after just learning about what it really is and does to our consciousness and perception. I think I tried it on the night of my birthday? I might be wrong on that. Either way, cannabis helped me overcome many different aspects of my life and where I needed to improve, or otherwise examine in greater detail.. including video games.. and that's when I desired to know more about consciousness, ethnobotany, the unconscious psyche, and a lot of internet reading activity (research mostly, for about 1-2 years) practically non-stop.  Hmmm, seemed like familiar behavior. I'm mostly introvert with some subtle extrovert qualities. However, I really did learn a lot of things I was unaware of before.. such as history, art, shamanism, plants / herbs, nature, meditation etc. I withdrew from friends quite a bit (being in nature was what I was drawn to) simply because my understanding of life seemed to unfold in a completely different way from what I knew beforehand. I felt the pull towards eating psilocybe mushrooms. Playing VG was actually not a task anymore and just about calm fun. I started learning and experiencing so much I hadn't known before.. and slowly my experience of 'reality' began to unfold all the way up to this day. Eventually I made it to the Nexus in previous hopes of finding more folks out there that were having the same 'experiences' I was. There are a few friends and people I can think of locally, but not to any degree the Nexus has here. I was always aware of there being 'more' to life, but I suppose one could call it a progress of 'awakening.'  Realizing all through my life what I had merely and subtly missed. There are many, many other aspects and experiences I didn't include, but since this is a thread mainly directed at VG and psyches, I shall leave it at that. 'What's going to happen?' 'Something wonderful.'
Skip the manual, now, where's the master switch?
We are interstellar stardust, the re-dox co-factors of existence. Serve the sacred laws of the universe before your time comes to an end. Oh yes, you shall be rewarded.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 287 Joined: 03-Jan-2014 Last visit: 01-Nov-2017
|
DreaMTripper wrote: feel again what its like being among a crowd of people, reconnect with the tribe. This is it, right here.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 182 Joined: 30-Jun-2013 Last visit: 19-Jan-2024
|
Tryptallmine wrote:DreaMTripper wrote: feel again what its like being among a crowd of people, reconnect with the tribe. This is it, right here. More of an introvert personality, large groups freak me out, i like more intimate groups, so going out doofing or clubbing just doesn't do it for me. The mass consumption of alcohol and the idiocy that follows from it is something i do not enjoy being around and is very draining on my psyche, being an empath makes it a lot more difficult, and large groups of friends only tend to gather in order to celebrate the "ritualistic" use of dumbing themselves down through heavily smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, taking large quantities of MDMA and ecstasy and smoking way too many cones, then go out to a pub and go gamble all the money they made that week away. Not my thing at all, not the way they use their mind altering substances at least.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 88 Joined: 08-Mar-2014 Last visit: 09-Jun-2016 Location: Depths of the Interwebs
|
Finding hobbies is a good way out of many addictions. Sport, musical instrument, arts and crafts... something active to keep the mind and the body busy, watching TV doesn't count.  Anything away from the computer will be helpful. I would also recommend setting rules such as not playing online (no online FPS, no MMOs). I still play often because I like to try new games when they seem worth it, but I usually get bored rather quickly when I'm only playing with/against AI. And when I don't get bored...well I stop playing when I finish the game (damn you Valve for making such great games!) Regarding the breakthrough issue, have you considered another ROA? Pharma or brew for instance. Peace
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 287 Joined: 03-Jan-2014 Last visit: 01-Nov-2017
|
Cazman043 wrote:Tryptallmine wrote:DreaMTripper wrote: feel again what its like being among a crowd of people, reconnect with the tribe. This is it, right here. More of an introvert personality, large groups freak me out, i like more intimate groups, so going out doofing or clubbing just doesn't do it for me. The mass consumption of alcohol and the idiocy that follows from it is something i do not enjoy being around and is very draining on my psyche, being an empath makes it a lot more difficult, and large groups of friends only tend to gather in order to celebrate the "ritualistic" use of dumbing themselves down through heavily smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, taking large quantities of MDMA and ecstasy and smoking way too many cones, then go out to a pub and go gamble all the money they made that week away. Not my thing at all, not the way they use their mind altering substances at least. I can relate to your sentiments here. I'm the same and it's taken me a long while to change that. I guess it came with age and growing into msyelf however reconnecting with a smaller groups of close friends and sharing experiences that are non drug or alcohol related is extremely fulfilling. It's been a matter of finding something one really really enjoys out in the real world with human interaction that made gaming for me seem very insignificant. However I wouldn't classify myself as an addict of gaming though I did enjoy some long stints.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 182 Joined: 30-Jun-2013 Last visit: 19-Jan-2024
|
DiMoiTou wrote:
Regarding the breakthrough issue, have you considered another ROA? Pharma or brew for instance.
Peace
I haven't yet. I've been interested in Pharma for a while and my girlfriend and i have a fairly strong calling to go to South America at the end of the year once she finishes school to go do Aya, sightseeing and hang out with some shamans to learn the art of shamanism. All in time. My batch of DMT is very old now and I didn't take good care of it maintenance so its not very high in potency. Its difficult trying to find a moment where i can extract because I still live at home. So right now, i just haven't been doing DMT… Time will tell  thank you for your suggestions. I have hobbies such as musical instruments (i play 5), reading books, nature walking and surfing… But theres still a deep inept desire to play video games, this has been an addiction since i was 10, 10 years later, its a difficult pattern to break haha.
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1893 Joined: 18-Jan-2008 Last visit: 26-Sep-2023
|
Well it sounds like you have many other fulfilling hobbies so I wouldnt over tyhink or give it too much significance, gamings good! Its good for the reflexes , hand-eye coordination and venting a bit of frustration cursing the screen. Ive also read it encourages brain cells to grow. I enjoy it immensely you just have to have a bit of discipline and know where to draw the line, I know how hard that is when you're trying to level up and letting the frustration get to you! Take a step back and remind yourself its really not that important.
|
|
|
DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 314 Joined: 11-Jan-2013 Last visit: 15-Jun-2021
|
This topic resonates with me very much, and is something that I have had on my mind for a long time. I used to have, what, in retrospect, can only be described as a gaming addiction. I was a very introverted, solitary child, and spent most of my time indoors, staring at a screen for hours and hours and hours on end. It stuck with me, as a daily thing, pretty much all the way into my early 20's, so definitely over a decade of obsessive gaming. What is so appealing about it though? To me, it sometimes feels like a very "unclean" sort of stimulation (meaning too much stimulation at one time, I suppose). The fact that I've been diagnosed with ADHD and basically grew up with an obsessive interest in video games doesn't really seem like a coincidence to me - how the hell am I supposed to concentrate on anything if I'm used to hours and hours on end of constant stimulation? And this isn't the intellectual sort of stimulation you get when you play music or read a book; it's much more intense, in my opinion. It's like comparing a cup of tea to a line of cocaine in terms of the effect it has on you. These days, I try to do as many outdoor activities as possible, be generally healthy and active, have more "intellectual" pass times, etc., but the urge that other posters here has described still nags once in a while. It's just something about the constant action/reward effect of hitting a button and seeing an immediate response hundreds, if not thousands of times, in an hour, that really does it for me. I want to enter a sort of hyper-focus mode where I just concentrate on the game and don't even think about anything else. I'll get pumped about playing a game every couple weeks, but I just get bored after 10-15 minutes and want to stop. It's almost as if my brain has some sort of "failsafe" mechanism that makes it so that I can't enjoy video games anymore, since I've convinced myself that it's a "bad" form of stimulation, I suppose. Gaming (and gaming addiction) is a very interesting topic, since it's such a new technology. People in their 40s-50s never grew up with video games (they may have played them as adults, but they weren't something introduced to them during their childhood, nor were they a regular part of their childhood, as seems to be the case with some of the posters in this thread, myself included). It's going to be interesting to see what unfolds over the next few decades about potential "long-term" negative effects of people who have been gamers their entire life - if any. Akasha224 is a fictitious extension of my ego; all his posts do not reflect reality & are fictional
|
|
|
 Pay No Mind
Posts: 934 Joined: 28-Dec-2014 Last visit: 26-Jan-2021 Location: 40th Parallel
|
Akasha224 wrote:...People in their 40s-50s never grew up with video games... Ahem We had video games back in the 70's & 80's, just not the high-def, high-tech versions that have been so popular in the last couple decades. From the Atari units hooked up to our TV, to the arcades filled with the likes of Defender, Asteroids, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Frogger, etc. Those of us in our "40s-50s" did grow up with video games, it just wasn't quite the same phenomenon that it has been as of late. Freedom's so hard When we are all bound by laws Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand Unseen by all those who fail In their pursuit of fate
|
|
|
 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 427 Joined: 02-Mar-2013 Last visit: 21-Jan-2022 Location: Neon Fractal Rain Forest
|
Yeah, the 1980s even had a way to stay up all night with online social media. Using modems and something called a BBS. The l33t speak, emoticons, LOL, etc... were all there too.
|