you have been helpfull Psybin, i dont like being told what i want to hear, it never helps me, i like to be told straight when im being a muppet, or when someone thinks ive got my view of the world wrong.

as i said, i have kind of made peace with it, "everything is as it should be", its now more of a lingering quandry, i would be more worried if i didnt care about anyone, but thats just not the case, i love my hommies


no worries, i dont think its possible to offend me via the medium of text, its just so tricky to get your true meaning accross, in this place especially i just presume everyone is nice and wants to help.

The word love is tossed around with wild abandon anymore. You don't have to love anyone. You don't have to feel bad about not loving someone. It is ok to feel anyway you want.

This is your life and your experience. If you want a good relationship with your family and would like to have love for them then intend that. Start looking at them lovingly at all times.

Love to me is a filter. You can look at everything at it through it. Hard to maintain. So we put the love filter on with just this person or that person. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever as far as I am concerned. Fact is that everyone deserves love.

I am sure that if you think really hard you can think of a time that you love each and every one of your family members. If you loved them in an instant then you always love them. You just took the love filter off. We all do it for different reasons or another.

I think your concern about your family indicates your love for them at some point. We all love our families no matter how screwed up they are or we are. They are a part of us more than anyone else. That should be respected. We are all a big human family. I don't want to sound like a cheese ball but I for one have been doing my best to look at all people with my love filter on including looking at my weird, obnoxious, dysfunctional family.

morning DmnStr8,

my concern at the lack of love i feel toward family concerns me not because of them, but because i feel there may be something wrong with me, the world has told me that i should be a certain way and i am not, its a selfish concern.

ive wanted to start this thread for a while but i didnt as i dont like the way in which i feel it makes me look. Ive tried to be as pleasant as i can in my wording but to be completely honest, i dont give a toss about any of them, the only reason i see them at all is out of the same courtesy i would show you. If i told my Mum how i really feel it would destroy her, i dont want to destroy anyone, family or not.


there has never been any connection at any time, they have never been filtered. they are like people at a bus stop.


sorry if i wasnt clear, i have no concern for them beyond the concern i have for any person. Except my Dad, he's a geezer, I love him to bits. the concern is a selfish one.


but we dont, thats what im saying. i cant understand why people get screwed over by family members and then continue a relationship


please be a cheese ball, its lifts the mood of the thread a little

There is nothing wrong with you. You just feel the way you do. If there is not a connection then there is not a connection. I think you can choose to have the best relationship possible with them even if there is no connection. It is still possible to love someone without there being a strong emotional connection. I feel many ways about my family as you do yours. I don't talk about much. Culture always will set us up to fail. We must abide by our own path and choices. This is your life, love who you want. And never feel bad about it.

Just throwing this out there as a possible option. Asperger's syndrome is also something you may look into if you feel that you see life differently than others. Some people simply are not wired for emotions and love. Love yourself first and foremost and the rest will fall into place.

This reminds me of a quote by Khalil Gibran, which I posted earlier in chat, definitely think it's relevant.

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you."

<3

Certain parts of what you said I could relate to but in my opinion this line of thinking doesn't quite fit with me, or most people I would have thought as most people have some sort of feelings to their families. You haven't mentioned your age, but I do know that around the teenage years these sort of thoughts were more prominent with me. I recall when I was around 13 or 14 I questioned whether I felt emotion in the same way as others, and looking back I did, but there's a hell of a lot of changes going through the body around that time which gives very conflicting and confusing thoughts.

If you are younger in age I suggest that your feelings will change as you mature (mine certainly did) even though you don't think they will, and you will probably grow to like your family and enjoy spending time with them. If you don't, then it will of course be a shame but these things happen.

If you don't fall into the 'younger' category maybe it is worth speaking to a doctor (as someone mentioned) or someone similar, it seems to trouble you enough to ask the question to us and a doctor will know much better than any of us if it is normal or not.

No I do not feel that way, my family experience has been amazing. I can't think of anyone in the world more important to me than my family, seriously.

From The Prophet, excellent source of philosophy on many of lifes crazy aspects.