Thanks, guys.
Varox wrote:Welcome!
Pity that you are intimidated by DMT. I guess I would also have been intimidated if I had done much research before attempting my first breakthrough. It's not that knowledge is bad for you but if it calls upon certain types of paralyzing fear then it's not productive... For me this is why little kids learn faster how to do "dangerous" sports like skiing, they dont stop to think of the bad outcomes while most adults think of that first.
Could you tell a bit more about that one time you went beyond a small dose and why you are intimidated? The reason I ask is that I find it extremely difficult to introduce people to DMT (and im talking about people who want to try not just anybody, im very careful with this topic as I believe psychedelics are not for everybody). There's always the question, how much do I tell you beforehand...
So I guess this will end up being my trip report
You're partially right, it's in part because of how intense I have heard/read experiences can be.
Not only that, but I certainly have had experiences of how intense it could be first-person.
Despite my own bit of reservations, I have convinced many people averse to ANY drugs to at least taste DMT. What I told them is some of the regular stuff: that it's very quick and you don't have time to do anything stupid, that the experience is powerful and most people won't even get up to do something wild, that it's a natural chemical within the human body and most life on Earth that's experienced to some degree every night during sleep, and that countless people of all walks of life have reported almost exclusively wonderful and empowering experiences.
Within reason of any given person's mindsets and how much it may shatter their worldview in a negative way, personally I do actually believe that "psychedelics are for everybody", at least in the case of DMT. I believe that everyone or most everyone can handle some level of the experience, that their experience of their own mind and spirit is incomplete in this life without it or something like it (including delving into meditation practise), and that for that matter DMT is "for everybody" in the sense that everyone experiences it countless times throughout life - albeit not to the conscious human mind.
I've had numerous experiences with it myself, most of which giving me incredible closed-eye visuals, beautiful or novel open-eye visual effects and intense color enhancement, and always an intense 'peaceful' feeling as if I have succeeded in a strong, even long, meditation, with a transcendental feeling and a seemingly natural inclination for higher philosophy and spiritual thought.
Late one Christmas eve a few years back I pretty much forced myself to go at it as much as I could manage, only having a little pipe with which to do so as usual.
I was alone, as I felt I should be for it. I was glad of it.
I listened to Mir by Ott for a while, and when the most welcoming and warm song (Aubergine of the Sun) rose to one of the best parts IMO, I went at it.
Because of how quickly it comes on, and how I am overwhelmed with this desire to not be distracted from what I'm already experiencing with the trifles of trying to get more, I always find myself kindof naturally un-inclined to try to force an even larger dose.
I did do my best at 3 tokes; although my throat is kindof a puss with vapor like that.
After seeing the strong blues, indigos, and violets that the ambient lighting around me was enhancing, I closed my eyes. Interestingly, either by my difference in attention at that dose or for a lack of them, I did not notice or see any of the usual colorful fractal/kaleidoscope patters I'm familiar with on psilocybin or DMT.
Instead I felt like I had an internal communication with a consciousness that simultaneously felt like mine as well as "not", as it felt as if "it" were "speaking" to me in an almost informal I/Thou way.
Collapsed into pathetic words as best I can, the brief "mental" communication went as follows:
"Hello and welcome back again.
What is it you wish to experience?
There is this... (My inner sight was instantly filled with visualizations of beautiful spiritual landscapes of other worlds, with strange but clearly joyful beings freely roaming)
This... (I felt a powerful energy through me as my mind's eye saw nothing but what I can describe as a brightening clear light, an experience I have never forgotten, with a knowing that I was the light and came to this life from a center source of unison and power)
And of course, always this. (I experienced endless void, an incomparable silence and emptiness, yet a tremendous and indescribable vibration underlying my own experience of it)
... But you know all that, don't you. You've seen it all before.
And you have come to where you are now for good reason."
I opened my eyes, and despite the normal psychedelic glow aftereffect, everything was normal.
So that's part of why I've not gone back to it to that degree since then. I sortof got the feeling from it that there's little point, so-to-speak; that the true psychedelic experience is being this human in this life, and that in good time I'm giving my consciousness all of the experiences it can possibly and does imagine.