So I planned on taking a journey with friends weeks in advanced, we were all going to meet at my place on a Saturday night.
As you know life happens when you plan for it. My father passed on that Wednesday and the funeral was Saturday morning. We weren't extremely close due to him having strokes when i was a rebellious teenager and he never fully recovered. He no longer had memory of who I was, only my older siblings.
When I got the call that his body was starting to shutdown , I rushed home from work and made a playlist of his favorite music, hoping that I may be able to help his transition into the other realms.
He responded with a single tear, to Neil Young 'Old Man'. Which is more of a response than anyone had gotten in weeks. Later on that night he passed away. Dmt came into my life a few months before. I believe it really allowed me to process and deal with the concept of eternal consciousness and that though this life is temporary, a part of us is eternal.
The Cosmic Middle Finger:So I decided that I would keep my schedule and have a small session with close friends. Partially to keep my mind off of the day's sadness from his funeral. Selfish as it may have been, that's where my mind was.
A few friends smoalked, had good experiences. I went a few times, babystepping due to pre flight anxiety.
When most of my friends left, leaving only my best friend, I decided to go deep. I loaded 55mgs into 'the machine' and cleared it in two long held hits.
My vision vibrated, all light sources went geometric and my ear filled with a loud electronic buzzing sound that vibrated my eyes closed. I felt a flash of fear but then immediately lost all sense of self.
The next thing I can recall is a shapeshifting huminoid figure just right of my peripheral vision, it was morphing into all of my aunts at once. Once I realized who they were, I reconnected with my 'self'.
The whole scene at this point shifted and I was barreling down a tunnel I can only describe as multi colored arms with hands flipping me off...
As it all steadied and came into better focus there were just hundreds of arms with hands sorta fluidly swaying in front of me, all flipping me off. I asked , 'Why are you flipping me off?' Though the feeling behind the gesture didn't seem malicious or unwelcoming, It left me confused.
I asked for 'them' to simplify this.... They responded.. 'COME ON MONKEY BRAIN'....more middle fingers dancing... I said ' I still don't understand'. They became more vibrant and I heard ' Remember?!' Come on monkey brain...REMEMBER!!
Then all of a sudden I seen a memory of mine play out of my father flipping me off as a small child while watching his sports on tv. He did this as a joke and it was pretty inappropriate considering i was like 8 years old. Then i heard ' Now you get it , now you see!!! '
I then felt a crazy sense that my dad was sending me this message, he showed me my sister and brother, told me my sister will be ok...but i need to flip off my brother....and he will understand.... but not too soon, let him grieve for a bit.
The next morning I hopped into my car. I was thinking all morning, 'was this him? was this me? was it 'them'...is there a 'them'? I need a sign! No joke, I turn on the radio , and the song that is playing is... Signs Signs everywhere the Signs!!!
this has been my most profound experience with DMT and probably in my life regardless! Thank you for reading and I apologize for poor structure and grammar, I will clean this up eventually, I type like I talk
