Greetings Nexus,
Some of you may know me already from the Nexus chat room as I have been lurking there for some time now. For everyone else, I am inviktus! Self proclaimed fledgling psychonaut.
I'm at an interesting time in my life, which has become entirely about bringing my mind to heel and
transcending the mind made self in order to find who I truly am beyond my perceived limitations.
I've been trying to write this essay for some time, but kept finding it became long winded and too personal, so now I have decided to make it about my first experience with mushrooms, which was also my first experience in using entheogens in a float tank. Hope you enjoy
(btw its still long winded)
For those of you who do not know, a float tank, or isolation tank is a large vessel with a lid filled with epsom salts and water. Once inside you float weightlessly, light is eliminated as well as sound,
even the sensation of your body is reduced or even eliminated due to the water and air being kept as close to skin temp as possible. This environment of restricted external stimuli allows for some deeply relaxing and meditative experiences. Pioneered by brain scientist John C Lilly in the 50's, this technology is enjoying a re-emergence now. I am fortunate enough to work in a centre which provides this service to the public. I'm even more fortunate to have after hours access. Lilly himself was known for using various substances in combination with flotation tanks, and it was in no small part his influence which made me want to do so myself. So I decided I would have my first experience with psilocybin in this environment.
About a week or so ago, (I have no concept of time) I took 3 caps totalling 1.5g about 40 minutes before I would enter the float tank. I was anticipating a mild experience, which is my preference for encounters with new substances. As it started to kick in I slipped into the tank. I've been floating for well over a year now. I couldn't tell you how many floats I've had. I'm completely accustomed to the environment now and it has few surprises for me, but I was in for a surprise this time. As I got comfortable and relaxed, the mushrooms began to do their thing, I immediately became aware of the intensifying effect the float tank was having on my experience. A curious mix of apprehension and excitement began to rise in me as I listened to my mind work overtime trying to quantify the experience. I resolved to "let go" and see where it would take me.
As I lay there in the velvety darkness, I began to hear a whispering. It was unintelligible for the most part. As thoughts would pop into my head, the whisper seemed to respond, bringing perspective to those thoughts. It's difficult for me to articulate what those responses were, the whispering was unintelligible as I say, but I felt some kind of innate understanding of it, and what it meant in relation to my thoughts. I had on my mind some events that had taken place recently, regarding a relationship I had recently started but had got too involved in too soon. The whispering seemed to be suggesting that I was wasting my time with this, and that I had more important things to be concerning myself with. As I understood and accepted this, the whispering gave way to a euphoric wave that grew in intensity throughout the rest of the float. I remember feeling ecstatic, the relaxing effect of the pod was intensified by the shrooms, and in turn the lack of outside influences intensified the mind expanding effects of the trip. I very quickly reached a perfect state of bliss, every ache in my body melted away, every worry and concern disintegrated in the light of my consciousness, concepts flew in and out of my mind and were understood instantly and discarded. I couldn't help but laugh at the trivial problems I thought I had in my life.
I then began to hear a deeply calm voice speaking to me, this voice felt incredibly familiar and it occurred to me that it may have just been my own, but from the deepest, calmest place within me. My highest self. I was able to converse with it, ask it questions and it would respond clearly. I'm still fairly new to psychedelics, my experiences being limited to a few nights with lucy and many nights with dimitri. I had not encountered this kind of back and forth conversation in a trip until the last couple of spice related experiences I'd had, and those were no where near as clear as this.
I asked the voice questions relating to my life, my recent experiences and where I was heading.
I was told that I need to believe in myself more, trust my senses and instincts, stop obsessing over details and to stop doubting. I was shown an image of a possible version of myself in the future. This figure sat serenely, much more tan than I am now, much older, wiser, humble but certain. He wore some kind of necklace around his neck. I could hear beautiful serene music. After this my thoughts seemed to cease entirely. I lay there perfectly still, eyes open staring into the pitch blackness of the pod. I felt so serene, while at the same time I felt energized like never before. My breathing was deep and rhythmic, my heart rate slow and steady. This state of no mind went on until the end of the float. I ended up needing the bathroom suddenly, and cut my float short by about 10 minutes. I'd have stayed in there forever like that if I could. It was absolutely perfect in every way.
I emerged from the tank with a powerful sense of awe and reverence for what I had just experienced.
The most incredible feelings of joy and peace I had in the tank stayed with me, as I tiptoed around the centre trying not to wake my two friends who were also floating. I sat on a couch and meditated for a while, enjoying peace of the centre. Eventually my friends got out of their tanks. They had not taken anything and were just enjoying a regular float. They remarked how ridiculously happy I seemed.
One of those friends had recently taken his own first dose of shrooms, the same amount as I had taken. He did not use the pod, and just hung around at home. I was struck by the difference in his experience and mine. He felt that dose did not have much of an effect on him at all which makes me think the pod really worked wonders for my own experience. I did notice that after leaving the tank I felt surprisingly normal albeit incredibly happy.
This tale does not do the experience justice, I've probably left it a little too long since that night to really elaborate on all that I experienced in that tank. If you ever have the opportunity, I highly recommend taking mushrooms and getting in a float tank. One of the best experiences of my life, and I will definitely be doing that again soon.
Thats all from me for now, hope you enjoyed reading this looney tale.
See you guys around in the chat
Just as a side note, a few days later I was at work when my boss handed over a package addressed to me from a client. Inside was a necklace made from twine and hemp, containing an angel hair gemstone. I'm not one for wearing such adornments but I felt it had some significance relevant to my trip in the pod. I wear it now as a reminder of my experience, one which I never want to forget.