DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 14 Joined: 22-Feb-2015 Last visit: 26-Feb-2015
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It seems like the answer here is obvious .but since my judgement has been messy ever since my experience I thought that I would ask the opinion of others ...
I was thinking that since I was scared and didn't understand what was happening to me at the time (didn't know it was DMT and was afraid of my surroundings to begin with ...I'm looking for my way back to sanity so if doing it again would help I would.
I would give anything to go back in time and not done it to begin with . someone took my choice away from me ..I had a meth problem ( I didn't want to quit I was happy) and now its been replaced by fear distrust panic telepathic crazy and it isn't fair ...I want my life back ....
Any comment would be helpful ..any ideas ?
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 131 Joined: 20-Dec-2014 Last visit: 20-Mar-2018
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If you are feeling "distrust panic telepathic crazy" and it's because of the DMT, the effects should be fairly temporary while you mentally digest what you've experienced. Strong experiences like that can have a way of permanently altering the way you look at reality, but you will adjust and adapt to it one way or another. It sounds like the last thing you need right now is more DMT. Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today,
I wish, I wish he'd go away.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 14 Joined: 22-Feb-2015 Last visit: 26-Feb-2015
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Thank you ..I feel like you are right about not needing anymore it's just that its been a year and I still don't feel myself ..I'm not as nuts as I was at the time .. But I just don't know how to adjust ...I might have a little PTSD or something.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 14 Joined: 22-Feb-2015 Last visit: 26-Feb-2015
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Truth is I've been hiding out for awhile and I'm afraid of socialising because the fear might return but I'll have to risk it ...its not easy since my mother is agoraphobic I slid into the same pattern with ease ...basically my worst fear came true.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1311 Joined: 29-Feb-2012 Last visit: 18-Jul-2023
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 did you seriously say you smoked dmt & didn't know it was dmt? Someone took your choice away? Please tell me someone did not intentionally give you dmt without your knowledge under the guise it was something else.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1999 Joined: 13-Jun-2011 Last visit: 24-Jun-2018
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I can see how being tricked into smoking DMT would be a traumatic experience. Sorry you were put in that position. It sounds like you may have some resulting trust issues now leading to agoraphobic behaviour? I hope you have cut the culprit out of your life. In my eyes, doing that is somewhat like rape. A heavy dmt experience can take some getting to grips with, even if you did it voluntarily. It is important to pay close attention to digesting your experience so that you can move on and lead a happy, productive life. Be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to seek help. Sending my compassion your way. Lose Control, Free My Soul, Break Me Open, Make Me Whole."DMT kicked my balls off" - od3
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 290 Joined: 18-Jan-2008 Last visit: 13-Feb-2016
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Guys lets not jump to conclusions . We have no details yet . soulsacrifice ...... 2 threads from you on the same subject paralel is not a good idea . So the fist thing to do is to calm down and relax . Then tell us clearly what happened . IN 1 THREAD please . I am autism spectum ........ please dont burn me at the stake for being honest .
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 451 Joined: 23-Jan-2014 Last visit: 09-Feb-2022
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Welcome to the nexus, and sorry to hear you are troubled. You may also want to look at the chat features of this site, for a more real-time conversation experience. At the center of this existence, it is everything and nothing, all of us and each of us and none of us. My light is now lit, and it cannot be extinguished.
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dysfunctional word machine
Posts: 1831 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 11-Jun-2018 Location: at the center of my universe
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You say you had a meth problem, but you were happy with it. That to me suggests that you had some issues before this incident happened. Stimulants and narcotics can "help" a person keep their personal problems at bay, or really: covered up.
Psychedelics do the contrary: they will uncover many hidden and covered up issues. This may explain why you have been submersed in the problems you speak of since your incident. The fact that this also happenend in a way that severely violated your trust has likely only added trauma to the pre-existing ones.
It is not at all impossible that a repeat experience with DMT, but this time at your volition and under your control can help you resolve some of this trauma. A good trip is one of the best remedies for a bad trip.
However, you may have to do some homework to increase the chances of getting a good trip. Being aware of the existence of personal issues is one. The preparedness to deal with these issues and invest real work into it is another. These (and other mental preparations) will help you create a mindstate that can help you to deal with the acute loss of control that your ego suffers during the onset and height of a psychedelic experience. It also helps to make sense of what you may encounter at the personal level during the experience.
Last but not least are some physical preparations that make the psychedelic experience safe to undergo at full potential. Create a comfortable space where you will not be disturbed and make yourself at ease with some preparatory excercises and meditations.
I am not sure that repeating the DMT experience will "fix" things for you, but if you are willing to try and if you follow basic precautions, I think that you stand a good chance of resolving at least some lingering issues.
Most of all, if you place yourself at the center of the responsibility for the issues and put the DMT experience in the "tool box", as a power tool that has to be used with care and respect, I think that you can work out a lot and may come out better at the other end of the tunnel than you were before, with the meth problems etc.
Things will never be like before, but you can work to make them better than before.
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DMT-Nexus member
 
Posts: 3968 Joined: 21-Jul-2012 Last visit: 15-Feb-2024
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Ok, with responses in both of your threads... You should probably NOT do more DMT. At least until you are in a better place. Meth is a horrible poison that wracks the soul, and destroys the mind. If yuou went off into DMT space while you'd had been up for a while on a meth bender, you more than likely are having trouble with your perception of reality. Meth psychosis is very real, and the post psychedelic sate from a powerful neurotransmitter like DMT produces marked after effects that could be taken up in a less then rational manner. I nearly lost my mind after a huge OD of 5meo DMT that people here were able to (unwittingly) help me out of. I was seriously tripping for weeks, having visions of god, mice and dinosaurs and seeing into the minds of strangers. Weird stuff I thought was real, and may have been to some extent on a higher plane, but as westerners, its hard to live in that state. I feel for you and your meth issues. I have addiction issues, just not with that. But I watched in helpless horror as an (now ex-, go figure  ) s.o. lost her freaking mind and turned into a crazed suicidal monster over the course of a ten day binge. Staying up for days is not good for you, add powerful drugs to the mix and... hoo boy, straight jacket fitting time. If you have and are experiencing these symptoms, PUT DOWN THE PIPE AND CRASH for god's sake! we love ya, wish you the best. Hopefully the cognitive rapist that dosed you unwittingly helped you and you'll come out of this, as pitubo says, not the same, but better. I know I did. Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
*γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 289 Joined: 29-Aug-2014 Last visit: 06-Feb-2024
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Hey, sorry to hear that. I was in the same place before and my hypothesis now is, that dmt has severe interactions with the dopamine system. DO NOT, in any case, do any drugs from NOW on. The best thing would be to do a controlled meth withdrawal. check out amphetamine withdrawal symptoms, if you see yourself in that picture: congrats, you *just* have dopamine withdrawal symptoms. If you can, try to relax a bit in a quiet place. Switch to a very healthy diet, no meat, no pre-prepared food, no sex, no internet binges, no tv, no gambling. check out this site: dopaminproject.org oh, and if they want to treat you for schizophrenia, check out this site: http://www.successfulschizophrenia.org/index.shtmlyou are sane, you are safe, you will recover. just give it some time. all the best, 332211
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dysfunctional word machine
Posts: 1831 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 11-Jun-2018 Location: at the center of my universe
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[Taken from the other thread] soulsacrifice wrote:hey , i just want to thank everyone for taking the time to welcome me and try to help with these issues that i dont fully understand , and iv just noticed that my story has gone into 3 or more different threads and i apologize if that was my doing (i didnt know exactly how to go about askng for advice on this site,sorry)
to clarify what has happend to me ill start further back ....i had spent all of my adult life and most of my adolescence using drugs of different types mostly coccain and extasy (some lsd) then at the age of 32 i guess my life got a bit more intense when meth became my personal favor but i still maintain that i was happy until a series of unfortunte events occurred starting with the death of my best friend and a few other sorted terrible events including eviction . at that point i thought it a wonderful idea to quit drugs for awhile and it wasnt easy but i would have got there . one day i was offered a place to sleep when i was stranded by a sweet elderly couple and was offered weed oil and they said that it was the key to change . my throat closed and i couldnt breath ....i imagined the worst offcourse serial killers drugging and killng me ....
after watching my cells fall away from me dead one by one at light speed each one with a picture of something insde each one ...i had never been so scared in my life and right as my speech was leaving me i kept saying the name of the person i cared for most over and over it was morbid and sad . i begged to be taken to the hospital and in the end that was where i woke up wth not even a hangover but that was only the beggining because by the time i returned to the place i was farmiliar in ...it felt quite different ...i was afraid and paranoid ...every choice i made watched and scrutinized i finnally hid in a forest where vines grabbed at me and i almost drowned then all of a sudden everything was ok ...i stayed out there 4 monthes on and off but since leavng there i was so worried and stressed that i moved into my mothers house ((totlal faliure is what that tells me )) now iv been in seclusion for almost a year and im getting prepared to go out on my own again .....ready or not i need to move forward i just dont know what ill do if severe paranoia insuses when i get around people that i dont really trust again or if ill be able to break my current cycle of solitude ...i feel like my brain has been rewired and i guess my self confdence isnt what it used to be .
im sorry about the spelling im free handing this ....thank you for giviing me somewhere to tell my story .
not sure if i specifed but my experience was most likly dmt ..and i get that it dosent cause permanent damege but knowing that dosent make my desion makng process any easier ...except now that iv got this out of my system and written down well, i actually feel better and hopefully not so stuck in this moment .
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dysfunctional word machine
Posts: 1831 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 11-Jun-2018 Location: at the center of my universe
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What you wrote there and before confuses me somewhat. Did you get the "DMT effect" from the weed oil you were offered? Weed oil made from weed that is very high in THC but low in CBD can cause these sort of weird trips. When I still smoked weed oil, I used to be very cautious about what weed to make my oil from, as I don't like these thermonuclear THC bombs one bit. I'd rather take a hefty dose of DMT or LSD than that stuff, really. When you were taken to the hospital, were you administered any substances to calm you down? That too may have contributed to the feelings that you were left with after this episode. In any case I hope that you got rid of the meth habit. However much you say you liked that time, to me what you just described all sounds a bit like you were running away from life's complications and the meth just helped you to feel good about doing that. If that indeed was the case then maybe the meth was really just a bad complication and the running away might be what really caused all the problems in your life. How would you have felt about the way you were living if there hadn't been the meth to make you feel good? Don't worry too much about what people think of you. Sure, it is a relevant part of life, since you have to live with other people most of the time. But it shouldn't be the most important part of your life. I think that the most important part should be what you think and feel about yourself, irrespective of other people's opinions. In the end, you are responsible for your life and they aren't. If you are not subconsciously making other people responsible for your life, then their opinions about your life are secondary to your own opinions. You need not be overly afraid that your brain has been rewired. Every time you have an experience, your brain is rewired, otherwise you would not have a memory of it.  Just keep on rewireing it to your own liking, in harmony with the world you live in. Meth and friends are likely not very much in harmony with that world.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1311 Joined: 29-Feb-2012 Last visit: 18-Jul-2023
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pitubo wrote:[Taken from the other thread] soulsacrifice wrote:hey , i just want to thank everyone for taking the time to welcome me and try to help with these issues that i dont fully understand , and iv just noticed that my story has gone into 3 or more different threads and i apologize if that was my doing (i didnt know exactly how to go about askng for advice on this site,sorry)
to clarify what has happend to me ill start further back ....i had spent all of my adult life and most of my adolescence using drugs of different types mostly coccain and extasy (some lsd) then at the age of 32 i guess my life got a bit more intense when meth became my personal favor but i still maintain that i was happy until a series of unfortunte events occurred starting with the death of my best friend and a few other sorted terrible events including eviction . at that point i thought it a wonderful idea to quit drugs for awhile and it wasnt easy but i would have got there . one day i was offered a place to sleep when i was stranded by a sweet elderly couple and was offered weed oil and they said that it was the key to change . my throat closed and i couldnt breath ....i imagined the worst offcourse serial killers drugging and killng me ....
after watching my cells fall away from me dead one by one at light speed each one with a picture of something insde each one ...i had never been so scared in my life and right as my speech was leaving me i kept saying the name of the person i cared for most over and over it was morbid and sad . i begged to be taken to the hospital and in the end that was where i woke up wth not even a hangover but that was only the beggining because by the time i returned to the place i was farmiliar in ...it felt quite different ...i was afraid and paranoid ...every choice i made watched and scrutinized i finnally hid in a forest where vines grabbed at me and i almost drowned then all of a sudden everything was ok ...i stayed out there 4 monthes on and off but since leavng there i was so worried and stressed that i moved into my mothers house ((totlal faliure is what that tells me )) now iv been in seclusion for almost a year and im getting prepared to go out on my own again .....ready or not i need to move forward i just dont know what ill do if severe paranoia insuses when i get around people that i dont really trust again or if ill be able to break my current cycle of solitude ...i feel like my brain has been rewired and i guess my self confdence isnt what it used to be .
im sorry about the spelling im free handing this ....thank you for giviing me somewhere to tell my story .
not sure if i specifed but my experience was most likly dmt ..and i get that it dosent cause permanent damege but knowing that dosent make my desion makng process any easier ...except now that iv got this out of my system and written down well, i actually feel better and hopefully not so stuck in this moment . Giving someone something as powerful as dmt against their will is a demented & cruel thing to do. I don't think using it again will help your case. Take your time to heal & take care of yourself. Get help if you need it, rehab, psychologists, etc. You seem to need support & alot of time to heal & put your life back together to get healthy & moving in the right direction again. Personally i'm not for ratting on anyone, but if i was put through an experience that effectively did that much damage to my life, i'd be at the police station in a heartbeat filing a report about what happened. Unfortunately we do not have the ability to revoke others keys to hyperspace, but these people need theirs taken. Anybody unwillingly dosing somebody with dmt needs to be beaten severely within inches of their life or locked up imo. Dmt is extemely powerful & should NEVER be used in the manner they used it in.
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dysfunctional word machine
Posts: 1831 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 11-Jun-2018 Location: at the center of my universe
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concombres wrote:I don't think using it again will help your case. Take your time to heal & take care of yourself. Not sure if anymore if "again" is really applicable here. concombres wrote:You seem to need support & alot of time to heal & put your life back together to get healthy & moving in the right direction again. Agree a lot. Even if soulsacrifice were to use it, "again" or not, these need to be at least happening before any therapeutical use of psychedelics would be a responsible or even sensible thing to do. concombres wrote:Personally i'm not for ratting on anyone, but if i was put through an experience that effectively did that much damage to my life, i'd be at the police station in a heartbeat filing a report about what happened. Unfortunately we do not have the ability to revoke others keys to hyperspace, but these people need theirs taken. Anybody unwillingly dosing somebody with dmt needs to be beaten severely within inches of their life or locked up imo.
Dmt is extemely powerful & should NEVER be used in the manner they used it in. Hold your horses, concombres, AFAICS it might not be a clear cut DMT case. There have been other people on the forum recently who claimed to have been administered DMT against their will or knowledge, but as the story unfolded, those turned out to be not so clear at all on the DMT aspect. soulsacrifice, how certain are you that you had DMT given to you? Did you have any prior experience with DMT that you can relate this to?
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 14 Joined: 22-Feb-2015 Last visit: 26-Feb-2015
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thank you for helping me straighten out my thread situaton .
i havent used meth in a few monthes and i know its bad for me but i feel naked wthout it .((maybe i do hve unresolved burried issues ))
iv just read all your posts and im tryng to digest it all ...i really apreciate the advice and the time youv let me have from your lives ...
(just to add ) i was told it was weed oil but it was in fact dmt ...it ddnt smell or taste like weed and it was too late when i realised ...starting to think that if i can get past the agoraphobia things might be better then ok .
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 14 Joined: 22-Feb-2015 Last visit: 26-Feb-2015
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sorry if its takiing time for me to respond but its all alot to take in especally since im lookng at each post and trying to imagne applying it to my life ...im a bit overwelmed but i wll eventually have more to say
in the mean time im finding that your comments are giving me much to think about
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dysfunctional word machine
Posts: 1831 Joined: 15-Mar-2014 Last visit: 11-Jun-2018 Location: at the center of my universe
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Take your time to read and take your time to respond. There is no hurry and it is easier to read one well considered post than three hushed ones. soulsacrifice wrote:thank you for helping me straighten out my thread situaton .
i havent used meth in a few monthes and i know its bad for me but i feel naked wthout it .((maybe i do hve unresolved burried issues )) Hey, you're okay when you are naked. You were born that way and it is who you really are. Clothes are primarily for comfort and shelter, not to hide who you are. That is just nuts. (Sigh.. Oh this modern world.) soulsacrifice wrote:iv just read all your posts and im tryng to digest it all ...i really apreciate the advice and the time youv let me have from your lives ... You are welcome. When I am reading the forum, I like to respond and help out if I can and I think so do others. I would like to be helped if I were in your situation too. Unfortunately, you'll sometimes have to contend with what is available. Sometimes there is noone there or noone with time available. soulsacrifice wrote:(just to add ) i was told it was weed oil but it was in fact dmt ...it ddnt smell or taste like weed and it was too late when i realised ...starting to think that if i can get past the agoraphobia things might be better then ok . I'm sorry that I have to ask you again, but how do you know that it was in fact DMT? Also, I don't want to dismiss the possibility that you were administered medications at the hospital and that these contributed to the overall "trip". Do you know what happened at the hospital?
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1311 Joined: 29-Feb-2012 Last visit: 18-Jul-2023
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pitubo wrote:concombres wrote:I don't think using it again will help your case. Take your time to heal & take care of yourself. Not sure if anymore if "again" is really applicable here. concombres wrote:You seem to need support & alot of time to heal & put your life back together to get healthy & moving in the right direction again. Agree a lot. Even if soulsacrifice were to use it, "again" or not, these need to be at least happening before any therapeutical use of psychedelics would be a responsible or even sensible thing to do. concombres wrote:Personally i'm not for ratting on anyone, but if i was put through an experience that effectively did that much damage to my life, i'd be at the police station in a heartbeat filing a report about what happened. Unfortunately we do not have the ability to revoke others keys to hyperspace, but these people need theirs taken. Anybody unwillingly dosing somebody with dmt needs to be beaten severely within inches of their life or locked up imo.
Dmt is extemely powerful & should NEVER be used in the manner they used it in. Hold your horses, concombres, AFAICS it might not be a clear cut DMT case. There have been other people on the forum recently who claimed to have been administered DMT against their will or knowledge, but as the story unfolded, those turned out to be not so clear at all on the DMT aspect. soulsacrifice, how certain are you that you had DMT given to you? Did you have any prior experience with DMT that you can relate this to? i should have worded that differently. & your correct pitubo. I thought about that after i posted. i have a tendency to jump the gun & am working on that  One thing i'd like to point out is that if what you smoked was in fact dmt, it would NOT have tasted or smelled anything like marijuana concentrates. Dmt has a very feint flowery mothbally smell & when burned smells & tastes horrid. Being within a few feet of someone smoking dmt you'd notice the smell, it is very distinct & unforgettable. That being said soulsacrifice you may very well be able to use dmt in the future & enjoy it. But it's not something you should toy with until your life is in a better state & you are happy with it. Psychedellics can be powerful tools & have very positive effects on ones life when used in the right context. When used impropperly or in a state like your currently in though, they can be equally as destructive. Asking for help & admitting the problem is the first step towards changes in the right direction. It is not easy to do & takes work to change long time habbits & thought processes, but it can be done. You may want to check into local government programs that provide work & afdordable housing. I believe the area i was in called it transitional housing. Programs like this have been very helpful for me in the past when i was struggling. Working around others & being around people may be hard at first, but through daily routine it becomes much easier. Once your doing well you can move into your own space & really begin to imrpove things & take them in any direction you want career wise.
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