I've went through so many stages since my unintentional break out and had no where to look for answers until now ...so I'm greatful to have found this site and looking forward to getting passed or at least coming to terms with the weird stuff that has happened since. ...traumatized but hopeful..wish I wasn't so trapped And terrible at expressing myself..wasn't always like this .

Welcome to the nexus, friend. You can let it all out here

thank you

I used to think that every one around me was talking to me and about me every where I went they went to ...external voices ...
But as it turns out I wasn't being haunted thou it felt or feels so real I never thought that it was all in my head ...too bad it took so long for me to realise that something went wrong in my head before I alienated myself from everyone I knew.
Late is better then never ..
... So ya things weren't as they seemed for sure.
(I hope I'm doing these posting thing right )

The thing I was wondering about was I have this feeling like I'm being railroaded or controlled (psychic strangle hold)...there must be a way to break free from that (the old me was cooler then this shell of a brainwashed frightened little girl persona I've adopted ...its not me .

What are the chances that trying it again will yield a different result? ...something easier then years of psychotherapy to get me back to having control over my own life again


+++this site is great. and helping me. thank you again ++

High soulsacrifice ,

More details might help us to help you . Can you please tell us what has happened to you ? What issue/s have you ?

Yes, apart from flat out medical advice, which we can't provide, many people here have been thru many difficult circumstances with the aid of psychedelics( and other things) . I've found help here with my many and varied personal existential crises.

But as god said ( and come on, GOD said it, so listen) we need some details. We love you and may be able to help. Help us help you.

You're female? Have you any mental diagnosis? It sounds like you've had a sudden onset of these symptoms. Is it post trip psychosis? What exactly did you take?

Since OP started two threads about this, can we move the dialogue to the other thread?

Thanks

hey welcome. I don't know what walk of life you descend upon us from, but glad we are here.

seconded. This is interesting, but is heading to the pit of confusion.

hey , i just want to thank everyone for taking the time to welcome me and try to help with these issues that i dont fully understand , and iv just noticed that my story has gone into 3 or more different threads and i apologize if that was my doing (i didnt know exactly how to go about askng for advice on this site,sorry)

to clarify what has happend to me ill start further back ....i had spent all of my adult life and most of my adolescence using drugs of different types mostly coccain and extasy (some lsd) then at the age of 32 i guess my life got a bit more intense when meth became my personal favor but i still maintain that i was happy until a series of unfortunte events occurred starting with the death of my best friend and a few other sorted terrible events including eviction . at that point i thought it a wonderful idea to quit drugs for awhile and it wasnt easy but i would have got there . one day i was offered a place to sleep when i was stranded by a sweet elderly couple and was offered weed oil and they said that it was the key to change . my throat closed and i couldnt breath ....i imagined the worst offcourse serial killers drugging and killng me ....
after watching my cells fall away from me dead one by one at light speed each one with a picture of something insde each one ...i had never been so scared in my life and right as my speech was leaving me i kept saying the name of the person i cared for most over and over it was morbid and sad . i begged to be taken to the hospital and in the end that was where i woke up wth not even a hangover but that was only the beggining because by the time i returned to the place i was farmiliar in ...it felt quite different ...i was afraid and paranoid ...every choice i made watched and scrutinized i finnally hid in a forest where vines grabbed at me and i almost drowned then all of a sudden everything was ok ...i stayed out there 4 monthes on and off but since leavng there i was so worried and stressed that i moved into my mothers house ((totlal faliure is what that tells me )) now iv been in seclusion for almost a year and im getting prepared to go out on my own again .....ready or not i need to move forward i just dont know what ill do if severe paranoia insuses when i get around people that i dont really trust again or if ill be able to break my current cycle of solitude ...i feel like my brain has been rewired and i guess my self confdence isnt what it used to be .

im sorry about the spelling im free handing this ....thank you for giviing me somewhere to tell my story .

not sure if i specifed but my experience was most likly dmt ..and i get that it dosent cause permanent damege but knowing that dosent make my desion makng process any easier ...except now that iv got this out of my system and written down well, i actually feel better and hopefully not so stuck in this moment .

Hi, I took your post and pasted it in the other thread. I will also answer you there. Would you like to continue the conversation there?

the other thing is im skatter brained most of the time and i wasnt always ...i think everything about me changed that day and im not sure if what im suposed to do
what i mean is i have these mportant desions to make and its really stressing me out tryng to decide if i should follow a new path that is pulling me or my old one that i never wanted to leave in the first place . i feel like im in purgatory of sorts ansd my life is on hold not knowing if i will see the ones i love gain or do i start al.l over with new people and place...its hard to explain