Hey Everybody,
A few updates are in order.

It turns out all my initial intuitions about microdosing being astonishly awesome have all been turning out to be true. Not only has every intuition been confirmed, but virtually all fears have been relieved and relinquished. This personal experiment and period of spiritual study and development have gone better than I ever could have dreamed up or fantasized. It defies all known facts and observations of the objective world. Part of me feels like overhyping this sort of thing might ultimately evoke the wrong kind of attention, but on the other hand I believe I need to walk the walk as truthfully and skillfully as I possibly can.

As a student of neuroscience and physiology it would be disingenuous to live a life in which I kept this under wraps as if it were a dark secret. I have transformed my life from angsty/depressed neuroscience researcher to happy/content sculpture artist. And I have reunited a generation's old family fragmentation during the process. It doesn't matter whether you believe the power behind these words or not. Nothing is really within our control. It's all part of the same illusion. Life is what you make of it. The ultimate lesson I've learned in this is that I'm just a middleman between form and formlessness. I get it now. I know it better than the name I've been going by since 1981. This is my path. I do not believe it is everybody's path, but it is mine.

Reader be warned: after accepting the spirit of Ayahuasca into my being for more days of the year than not, I have to admit I passed through an initiatory crisis of disbelief about pretty much everything, and now I feel I am permanently entrenched in a shamanic worldview. There's no shaking it out now. There's no psychiatric pill that can take away wisdom gained from personal experiences I've had. There's no undoing the unspeakable experiences words and science cannot reach. There's no taking away the near death experience and coma I experienced in 2011, nor the messages I received during. I've studied neuroscience and psychiatry, and I know--not believe--I know that what I've experienced is boundless in contrast. All the plant teachers agree on the same message. It doesn't matter whether you hear from the serotonergic side, the cholinergic side, or via GABAergic agonization. It is mysticism. Psychoactive tools allow us to temporarily change tuning parameters of cognitive processes such that we perceive altered states of the unified field of consciousness in a way we otherwise could not.

Some people walk around with a non-consensus version of reality everyday and do not know it. They then manage symptoms in order to 'fit in' with consensus reality. If this sounds like it could apply to you, I highly recommend carefully exploring how your view of the universe differs from consensus reality.

Perhaps this thread is less about microdosing Ayahuasca, and more about my own catastrophic awakening process. If it is more about the latter, I hope I do not lead anyone down a path they are unable to face. Please accept my words as personal experience and not as a wrought recipe. I am lucky to have survived as many years of social isolation as I have. The path would have been easier had I found a spiritual guide/teacher I trusted early in life. Traumas and hardships aside, here I am now, fully aware of my philosophical predicament in all of its glory and its pain, forever and for always.

I have met a few spiritual teachers over the last few months, and every single one finds my personal story astonishing. Finding the right people to speak to has helped me understand and accept my own experiences, as well as shape my narrative so I can share in a meaningful way. Without skillful means of sharing, this message would be lost in the noise of this crazy world we live in.

Be well!

I have a few more things to update this thread with. This post is a temporary placeholder for thoughts to come.

-Effects of varying DMT content in Aya microdose (with controlled harmala content)
-Impact and benefit of using other plant teachers for integration
-Change of Ayahuasca experience as a function of harmala tolerance
-Change of Ayahuasca experience as a function of changing spiritual beliefs


If anyone would like to see a post about one of those topics in more detail than others, please speak up.

Very inspiring story. I can definitely resonate with your first post on this page of the thread a lot! Daily dosing of harmalas (or caapi or often rue) for a very long period of time turned my life upside down, but in a good way.

Thank you, universecannon!

I've been thinking deeply about the role of regular, low dose harmalas in this approach. My experience informs me that it is not just the harmalas. It has to be both the harmalas and the dmt. It has to be both in synergy creating the environment that has allowed me to prosper and grow. I've been working to parse the effects out by feeling, and learn independently from the extracts.

Ultimately, I feel I've learned from many, many different plant teachers. Aya just happens to be a very noteworthy one, with low body load, and little 'lens effect' as other molecules working on the same receptor system seem to produce. Ayahuasca cuts straight to the heart of the matter.

I plan on writing some more on this topic soon. Thank you.

Thank you! This has been a very inspiring tread for me to decide doing an ayahuasca microdosing.
I am just doing this since 3 weeks and only twice a week at night , but I feel the same effects as you discribe, and seing those experience impacting my daily life in a good way.
I love the fact that I can integrate what I learn during those experience the next day, and each experience is nourished by the day i spend.
Like both world are reflecting themself...
Wish you good luck.
Keep posting to give us more insign!

You've inspired me to try this on my next day off I have from work. I have Harmala HCl from rue and freebase DMT from MHRB that I want to use for this.

I've done some math on your original estimates of how much you were taking, and I've come up with 16-32mg DMT (assuming 1-2% yield on the bark) and ~28mg Harmala (based on estimated yield on Rue seeds.

I'm going to tweak the numbers a little bit and take 50mg of Harmala and 10-15mg of DMT. The DMT is so variable because my milligram scale is a cheap one, so it can't be assumed to be entirely accurate at that small of a level!

I'll report back on Tuesday!

I might be interested in trying this also, I've never done ayahuasca but have acrb and syrian rue I can get ahold of. My last dmt experience was off putting so this sounds right up my alley right now. Great thread.

I highly recommend pharma, or changa. I read your trip report, and I've experienced the same kinds of fear when using DMT and cannabis. Some people like the combo, but I can't do it... Too much confusion and fear. Now DMT + B Caapi in a bong, now that's a good time!

Hi Warrior,

vary fascinating report, however I am not clear on the protocol, and some other details, can you tell us:

- how many days?
- other than the one skipped day were the rest of the 3 (?) days consecutive?
- how many times a day?
- what is the smallest and largest time interval?
- I assume the largest dose was 10 ml and the smallest 5 ml? Have you taken more?

- did you have to lay down at some point?
- did you have light sensitivity?

- what was the overall/initial goal? Not to have body load? Not to have visuals? Not to have a strong trip?

Thanx
Jox

@
isaakzirbe thanks for the math

Can anyone post updates on this thread? I can't do a full on ayahuasca experience (I feel fear and anxiety and weird,) but believe in the benefits it has so microdosing is a good alternative. Especially in light of what Warrior said that he can vouch for all the amazing claims from microdosing. Warrior said he did his usual 10ml dose and then took 4mg rue and I'm not sure if the 4mg of rue was in addition to the rue already in his recipe or if he made the recipe without rue.

A question on microdosing; if you make up a batch of ayahuasca and divide it up into several microdoses, is there still enough rue in the microdose to allow for maoi? Or is there a minimum level of maoi needed in the gut to allow even a microdose to work?

Hi Jeanlzt,

I reckon you want to do Aya microdosing for therapeutic reasons, anxiety not feeling good. In a way you are stating mental conditions you want to heal. This is your first post and in a way it feels a little rushed.

Why don't you introduce yourself more so we can have better understanding of your needs.

Best
Jox

YES! I was just going to post asking about which other entheogens play nicely with Ayahuasca (Acacia+Rue specifically). Particularly, I am curious about buccal Salvia and oral cannabis.

Regarding my own mushroom and shroomahuasca experiences, I have noticed that taking Salvia 2 days before a session prepares my mind and body quite nicely for the experience. And oral cannabis, taken after all has settled, helps immensely with the post-trip integration process. But, something tells me that if this were reversed (Salvia taken after and cannabis, before), it would be all wrong. Since the Ayahuasca microdosing protocol is somewhat constant, I wonder if there is any place for these entheogens.

Thank you, you are blazing an important and big path for people!

One more thing-

Did you/Do you let people know in your life that you are microdosing Ayahuasca? Like, the people who are close to you that are most affected by your personal changes.

EDIT:

Two more thing-

I'd also be interested in hearing the effects of different Harmala:ACRB ratios. I reckon (but am not certain) that more harmalas would be a more relaxed, possibly safer experience psychologically. Possibly not as effective, but slower and perhaps steadier?

Yeah, everybody in my life knows what's up. Friends and family that have followed me through my achievements and setbacks are all completely astonished. In fact, it has become incredibly clear to me the only way to walk this path is to share with those that seek to know. Some people only need to feel included through conversation. Emotions surrounding this phenomena are fascinating. I have found, if you open people skillfully through dialogue, the impact of sharing this type of story almost makes them have a mystical experience of their own. Artistic people love hearing me speak. I feel like overnight I've become a community counselor for everyone, including all the people that never approved of me fully before. I couldn't have dreamed this up. Never in my wildest dreams. This experience has turned me into a grown-up, lol.

I have more to share. To be continued....

Thanks for responding! I'm gonna be all over this thread until I get answers to all my questions... and I have a lot of them.

The thing about Salvia is a particularly pressing question--it seems that, in my past, Salvia has been a kind of psychedelic antidote. When I have taken it after trips with significant afterglows, it has interrupted the whole thing and brought me back to a sober (a bit too sober, if you ask me) state.

I recently microdosed aya, was feeling a good afterglow, but wanted to root myself in myself by taking some Salvia to prepare me for the next aya dose. It wasn't good. It wasn't a nasty experience, but it seemed to take away from the whole Ayahuasca energy flow.

This all seems to be connected to what mood/mode the digestive system is in, too. These things have a huge effect on it.

One of the reasons I've had trouble answering specifics on dosing for this purpose is that my protocol has been to maintain a sense of spiritual direction throughout every decision in my life. My dosing is based on feeling, based on circumstantial intuitive need. Every batch is slightly different. I work out what I expect a high, medium, low, and microdose should be based on personal experimentation.

It's as if by opening my heart and mind just enough - by a skillfully developed feeling - I am guided by something much higher. It's as if I've awakened to life on a sail boat. All this time I thought I had to paddle, when really what I had to do was learn to catch the wind by the sails of awareness. If you can't calm down enough to notice the wind, you're lost. Rather than worry about highly precise dosing, it's far more important to learn how to live as calmly as a mountain; because as useful as science is, what we're really doing here is well beyond science. This is more alchemical, transcendental, and as spiritual as it gets.

Learn what works for yourself through experimentation. That means keep a journal/notebook. If drug_x takes away the beautiful flow of life, then make sure you have that personal experience documented accurately, and reasonably well analyzed, such that you can speak about it appropriately, and you don't accidentally delude your own thinking. Recognize fear and learn to release it. Apply the scientific process to your personal life. Review your notes and your feelings often. Learn to analyze all the mundane, special, and weirdness that occurs all around you everyday without fear, without judgment. Become fully present to your own life. You can't do these things without accepting a path of spiritual development. Microdosing is only one approach. There are many other valid paths to the same state of awareness. Only you can decide what path is right for you. Choose your tools wisely.

"The ultimate lesson I've learned in this is that I'm just a middleman between form and formlessness. "

^This I freaking love this.

Thank you Warrior for all your efforts sharing and nice writing, I appreciate it much.

I see the point here clearly, yet one remark: journals can become deluding too sometimes: I've changed feelings and conclusions about certain substances and their effect on me. Usually as a result of personal over all change. My point: the dynamic is beautiful, and journals could/should be seen as snapshots of the dynamic. I admit much records/findings are indeed surviving any dynamic.

Thank you.

I went into this whole thing as a scientist. I realized it was possible to slip into a state of psychosis I may have serious trouble climbing out of. After having an experience in which I entered a coma for 6 days, followed by waking up into 5 days of hyoscyamine delirium, I reconnected with a truly awful set and setting (hospital, surrounded by family, and more hardship to come). I figured if I could work through that and re-stabilize my life on my own, without any social assistance, without losing my job as a research associate, and make new friends and life companions through the process, then what I am doing on my own must be worth the words I use to describe it all. My biggest fear was that I would create a cognitive state that could hurt my best intentions with material wealth at least, to true wealth and relationships at worst. I was in so much mental anguish that I was willing to die for my own cause. I didn't want to suffer, of course. I was also afraid I would meet opposition to my goals that might legally bind me in a way that I could not continue the personal work I was doing. For all of these reasons I needed good record keeping in case I became unable to defend my actions coherently and objectively.

So I keep a journal of my life. I put in it facts, insights, feelings, perceived changes in my life, etc. Years ago I kept journals that were filled with "poor me" statements that were not helpful. In my current journaling strategy I only record positive affirmations and beliefs that help me construct/build a happier, more loving life. Now when I review my own journal it only helps me see the good I've been working on, letting myself off the hook for little stuff that isn't worth worrying about. This has helped my mental health incredibly because if I die, or wind up defending myself in court, I have exceptionally high quality data to support my cause.

Everyone in my life that knows what I'm doing knows this journal exists as well, which helps my social community rest a little easier about it all. I'm not just doing it for kicks. This has been a life and death struggle for me. I needed to transcend the limits of neuroscience on a Magellan-esque visionary quest because I felt painted into a corner in life. Neuroscience and psychiatry can't help you if you've studied it all as well, or better than your therapist or doctor. My problem was existentially bigger than they could easily assist me with. My problem required me to work through it all on my own.

No journal is perfect, but if you are clear about your intentions with yourself, a journal can be a powerful tool.