Tryptallmine wrote:Good on you for considering conquering your addictions.
I've been there in the past, heavy addictions to benzodiazepines and alcohol were the worst offenders. Thankfully I've moved past those days and they seem a distant memory. It took me to the point of hitting rock bottom facing the loss of pretty much everything in my life to get a real reality check.
It sure as hell wasn't easy and took massive commitment, but its worth it in the end. Once you've gotten past some of it and start to regain some mental clarity, you'll probably be able to address the issues that caused you to self medicating in the first place. If it wasn't just recreational use that spiraled out of control.
Something to consider is actually getting pen and paper and writing down exactly what you are taking, amounts that you are taking and the frequency and really focus on tapering one substance at a time rather than the whole lot. You will probably fail miserably if you are a poly drug abuser trying to get off everything at once - it's simply too big of a task.
You'll get a good idea of what it is you are doing to yourself when you're staring at it in black and white. It also gives a better ability to formulate a plan or tapering schedule. If you think it would help, talk about that schedule with a qualified doctor.
If people were to taper slowly from most drugs of abuse, of course there will be withdrawals but they are significantly more manageable. Ideally you stretch it out and follow a schedule over a series of months sometimes longer depending on the severity. There's no harm in a more manageable longer term plan to reduce or cease drug use.
Another trick I used was printing out calendars, make a game of it. 2 days, 5 days, 7 days, then you might have a relapse and use again, don't consider that failing if you've gone through a period of abstinence. You can look back at that calender and go well, I got to x days. Then repeat the process and beat it by another day or two. It gets easier as you get some mental strength and control back.
I can't recommend getting outside and exercising enough. If anything gets your mind off withdrawal symptoms its getting the heart rate up and fresh air into you. Other than that, getting yourself separated from some commitments so when you're facing the worst of the withdrawals you don't have to face people and get socially paranoid. Drink plenty of water, eat wholesome whole foods and get plenty of quality rest.
Tell a person you trust what it is you are doing and how you are going about it so you have some real world support structures in place.
I really wouldn't recommend going cold turkey on anything if you are using high amounts as the result could be life threatening without appropriate medical supervision.
QFT.
I've been there too spractal. Intranasal heroin/fentanyl powder (i know, what the hell was i thinking) habit for ~8 months of constant use.
Failed cold turkey a few times, was using clonidine and benzos to try and alleviate the w/d's. Well thats about as cold turkey i could stand.
Eventually though kratom was the key, and i've been clean for over a year now from all opiates except kratom.
Stay strong, exercise, get out and spend time with other people and in nature, eat right, sleep the best you can (i know its tough in w/d mode), find real world people you can be honest to about these issues, if you can find someone who's already been there thats even better. They can offer alot of good advice.
Cannabis was also instrumental to helping me stay clean. I think you should reconsider quitting smoking at least until the acute w/ds subside. And try and get indica's, they work way better than sativas for opiate withdrawals.
Also, i would say forget about your benzo habit/other habits for the time being ( i know that sounds bad, but i've been there, withdrawing from heroin and xanax or etizolam before and its not something that works out in terms of making it through your withdrawals and being able to stay clean.
Just focus on the opiates, and keep your other habits where they are, or start to taper, but do not try and jump off benzos and opiates at the same time. IMHO its counterproductive.
I'm still tapering off etizolam, partly because i wasn't serious about quitting back when i stopped taking opiates, and partly because i've been using it and other benzos for 3 years of almost daily use, and that requires a LONG taper.
The few times i had a good tolerance and ran out of opiates and benzos was probably the most uncomfortable experiences i've had in my life. Take it one step at a time, but always be thinking about the big picture and being able to kick other habits down the road when you have some breathing room.
Were here for you brother, and im sure you already know that but pm anytime if you need to talk.
PS-
Go check out bluelight as far as a resource for getting information/support in regards to getting/staying clean. It was instrumental for me at least, alot of people that have walked the same road you and i have been down and only want to help.
"let those who have talked to the elves, find each other and band together" -TMK
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