I seem to have run into some issues with using dmt
Although it has to be my favorite drug by far, the last couple weeks it's been inducing some nasty panic attacks.

I'd like to move past the panic attacks & continue to use dmt. But i'm really unsure how to proceed.
Even after the dmt has worn off & i know i'm having a panic attack the physical symptoms persist for hours until i'm able to relax & take my mind off my breathing.
I understand it's mental. I've dealt with panic attacks for a long time. I just cannot seem to deal with the panic in the state dmt puts me in.

Until i can figure out a way to move past intense anxiety i think i'll have to take a break from spice

I'm sorry to hear about this, concombres. I too have been having rather difficult trips on our favorite molecule lately.

I have personally found that if I try to venture out while I am very tired, physically/mentally exhausted, or hungry/thirsty then it negatively affects my experience. Before I was trying to have my trips shortly before bed, but when I have no energy, there is just more of a negative element for some reason.

Have you been physically well? How about mentally?

I am on a self-imposed break as well after I had some difficulty putting the bong down. I had a bad experience, and then I vaped again, and then again (looking for a good experience), and I felt like an addict. One of my revelations from that was that I needed a little break to get everything together and live in peace again before I try to use. A break to clear your head and maybe integrate a bit could be just what you need.

If you haven't already discovered this, I can vouch strongly for the fact that salvia, used carefully, has powerful regrounding effects after heavy tryptamine use. Weird as that may sound...!

Smoke a bit of plain leaf (no xX extracts!) or take a tincture/tea, even microdose for a few days...

She looks out for us, and can rebuild...there's a report in the literature about a meth user being "fixed" mid-freakout...!

Thanks for the replies guys
I'm taking a break for a while to focus on improving my health, career, & social activities.

After some thinking i've noticed a pattern of panic attacks during periods of heavy use of other substances throughout my life (although my spice use has never come close to heavy).

I'm going to take the time to try & get back back to a comfortable state where panic & anxiety are not effecting my mind the way they occasionally start to before coming back to spice.

& man from chan chan i'd love to try the salvia thing, but unfortunately it's illegal where i live since before i even got to try it & impossible to come by. I've not seen any of my regular herb shops selling it & i'm very weary of new suppliers marketing low quality plants.

Hey bro. Hope your doing ok!
This thread caught my eye. I've also been having a rough time with the spice lately, although I'm sure DMT is not to blame. I've also recently seen the doc because I too have been having panic attacks lately, once again I don't blame DMT I have been under a crap load of stress the last couple of months. The last few trips I had have been really rough, the last one I almost forced myself into it, I just wanted a good experience. Instead of the usual colourful geometric wonder I've just been thrown into a void where I can't tell if I'm alive or dead, everything is drained of colour and in slow motion. It's a scary place. I think a small break is in order

Anyways hope all is well.

Peace

Happens to me to. I can't stress how important yoga and meditation regularly practiced improve this situation for me. The knowlege that it is all in my head isn't enough sometimes and I need the tools to not let my mind rule my consciousness. I also had to look at cannabis and level out how much I use. Too much and I start focusing on my mortality in this body. Fear feeds on itself and the energies it produces. Pre-flight anxiety really gets me. I have to do a whole regimen to relax myself before I go.

Tonight I had a strange reaction to changa after the craziest breakthrough DMT phase wore off. I had also dosed 20mg sublingually 1 hour before. Stress waves with a heavy tryptamine bodyload afterward. Fast shallow pulse that I did see my thoughts were causing but I kept having to reel myself back to center. I had also ingested Blue Lotus tea which may have contributed to the bodyload. My cranium felt like it had a current running through it. The best thing was to sit and be with my breath. My own personal energies, life stresses contribute so I try to have a clearing and see if I have any situations where I am not being honest with myself, observe it and put it in the light to work on in real life.

I had constant panic attacks for a while last year, after a bad breakup and everything falling apart around me. I remember even at work a few times I had to go sit in my car on my break, having a breakdown. After sitting there until I was crying once, I realized I couldn't go on like that.

Very cautious low dosing of mushrooms, in a good setting feeling supported, as well as finding someone to talk to about it that would not judge me etc was the only thing that began to change it.

Also, it's good to get out of normal cycles. I randomly just bought a ticket to shambhala last year, told my boss I'm gone for the week and went..meeting up with other nexus members there, people from all over the world, even becoming good friends again with a girl who grew up in my town and went to my high school etc...people that mean something to me and I don't feel strange around..I came back to vancouver feeling different, with friends to go out dancing with etc. It changes everything when you at least know a few good people who are supportive of you.

You have to find some way to break the stress and trauma cycle, so your not stuck reliving stress and trauma from yesterday, today.

Stress and trauma are the heaviest things you can carry around, so my heart goes out to anyone who suffers with these things, as a lot of us do a times. I hope you can find some resolution.

It is good to hear that you are feeling better jamie. Even though i don't know you personally, i feel that you are a wonderful person, and someone whom i wish great pleasures upon. Your story of healing with the help of a circle of friends is not unique, by far - and that is a good thing i guess. It takes only so little, even though for some that one "little thing" is still so hard to find.

As for concombres ...well, if its panic it is panic. Take it or leave it. IF you want to continue, ask DMT to give you panic it that's what it wants to give you.

better is not even really a label I like to apply anymore, because it still implies that I am state-specific, if that makes sense. I have found that life is not based on stability..stability is something we cultivate, but personally I find when I begin to define myself the inevitable result is more suffering-if not now, later.

I am very much not "better" anyway..I still hold a lot of pain and suffering and sometimes it feels like a curse. I would be lying if I said everything is just great and I am fixed or something.

What I found, at the deepest bottom of my own pit of misery, was god. Many people are sort of shocked when I say that, because I have probly made enough of an ass of myself in the past in relation to that subject and I did not like that word or the concept.

When I felt like I had nothing left, I had stopped eating, literally loosing 15-20 pounds very quickly...I stopped sleeping because I was just having on constant anxiety attack. I can honestly say there is a period of about 4-5 days where I think I most have just sat in a blanket not going outside not eating not sleeping, and I cant remember it...like I have amnesia..maybe the brains way to protect itself from traumatic emotions, I don't know. I know there was a period where I just sat there, I did not smoke weed or take psychedelics either so it was not due to that..I just felt hollow and dead inside and I honestly would not have minded simply passing away out of this life. I don't think I can be the same person I was after experiencing that.

One day, without much thought I put a pile of DMT in my pipe and simply smoked it. There was nothing spiritual about me doing it, I think I figured I could just smoke a big hit and disappear from the world, because I decided I did not enjoy the suffering of it.

When it came on, there was no fear, or elation, or anxiety....I was dead inside, felt devoid of love and any relevent emotion that I truly did not care. In a way I think I had temporarily dissolved my own ego already, only through the shock and pain I was going through. I remember entering some kind of hyperspace..and I mean like deep.

..and then I began screaming. I still wonder if someone heard me actually screaming..if they did they did not say anything to me about it. I was just sort of zooming through the cosmos screaming, trying to find this person..my lover...and I couldn't-she was just gone...I screamed and screamed until my emotions slowly came back..and then my screaming became crying..and I screamed and cried in hyperspace trying to find her..and then it was as if what I was trying to find was just love...and it was not there...

I think I have felt my whole life like no one ever really loved me...it's a profoundly fucked up feeling to realize that you have developed completely nihilistic habits out of your lack of feeling loved...and that they have been ruining yourlife, causing you to hurt yourself, and hurt others. I had spent so long thinking I was not even worthy of love.

So by now my body must be crouched over, on it's knees, screaming and crying as my soul is out searching for this thing called love..which is can't find.

..and then slowly the screaming, and crying transforms bit by bit, into the most intense cathartic ecstatic moaning, and then the moaning becomes the most intense comic laughter until I am laughing so hard I am back to crying...

...and then suddenly, God is with me.

There is just light, just cosmic hyperspace light and it's infused with love, and it's me, and it's you..it's all the suffering and all the joy, all the love and all the hate..

It's my broken heart, on the ground, beating and bleeding in a puddle, finally unbound..and this clot I had created through my own suffering and stagnation just fell apart, and it hurt..it hurt soooo bad..

The immensity of the pain that began wallowing through my entire soul was just incomprehensible, but it was also no longer divorced from the all the love, and all the joy, or from god.

It was like this alchemical union of opposites flowing back into the cosmic pleroma of the gnostics...there was just this other place, of light, beyond our world of opposites...my deepest pain had become my greatest accomplishment...I saw my whole life as just this momentous journey back towards god..and from that place it didn't matter that I would come back to my place in this world, with my problems intact, because all of it was part of god, and I knew that gods love was my love, and if god loves me, than I love me.

God is just a word. That light, and that darkness is so far beyond language constructs.

In the matter of mere moments, I had been reborn a dualist, a non-dualist, a neo-monotheistic-pan-entheist, polytheistic pantheist..nothing and everything.. and, ultimately, a mystic.

I came back down, quickly at first, and then slowly more and more over a number of weeks. The light of god, or w/e word you want to use, stayed with me for weeks. I began eating properly again, started working 40+ hours a week, while going to school at night after work. I was not enlightened, or even necessarily "better". I just stopped caring about such concepts..I had seen god, and that was enough. The rest comes in time. It was a really important time in my life, probly the most important time of my life.

Bad days happen, and bad things happen. That's life...but life is a process, never betray that with a passionless existence.

Don't get hung up on states within the process, or ideas of regret, or living without regrets...loose all of that if you can. Would I do things different if I could go back in time? Yes, definately..why not? there is soo so much I would do different, and I don't think I so different from anyone else. We all make mistakes, and wonder what if__?

I don't have a time machine though, and I can't change my past(trust me I would build that machine if I could ). All I can do is live the best I can right now, and love myself, so that I can have the support of that light in my life to be open enough to accept the love of others.

I never had an experience like that again. I think it was a one time thing.

here is a nice talk on suffering, which I think relates to anxiety..anxiety is suffering.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgIkDQk-s6Y

Hi concombres !

I also had panic attacks after some strong trips triggered by cannabis and hay fever.
There also was a time where the DMT forced me to face my fears.

The thing that helped me was breathing meditation. I Just sat in (quarter )Lotus and inhaled very deeply and exhaled very slowly.
I also forced it by smoking cannabis and dancing to extatic music just dancing and breathing.(for a time most of my cannabis experiences became -extasy or anxiety- , let go or fear...)

Years after this I view this phase as a growing and learning process to let go and be better prepared for extatic/spiritual states.I also meditate regulary now.

So, IF you smoke again, I suggest a low dose (a small ammount of capi/harmalas is very recomendet) with the intention to just breat through it (while meditating or dancing or doing Yoga).

I hope you do well !

Hi Jamie !
I am happy you had the experience of experiences ! Thank you for sharing it with us!
I love you for just that
It changes everything , dosent it ?

Well said Jamie, especially the last part ^^ I have often been in crisis over "belief" etc... religeous conditioning and superstitions. I recently have had an evolution in that relationship with what I choose to call God and it has given me a lot of passion for life and being engaged. I hope you feel better soon Concombres. Please continue to share. LOVE TO YOU ALL

Just thought I'd ask how you are doing Concombres? It has been over a year since you made this thread, did you find a method to counterbalance your attacks or did they fade with time

A similar amount of time has passed since my worst panic attack and has been many months since my last hit of DMT. I occasionally get flashbacks of weird temporal love anomalies that are centered upon the comprehension conception and language, similar to de-ja-vue but nothing to do with familiarity. I found exercise and generally being external and extrospective helped the most.

It is far easier said than done. Embrace the panic. Let it take a hold of you and feel it. Face it and know it's power over you. Panic will subside. You have to experience it anyway. Might as well do it with courage and strength. Don't fight it just give in to it and accept it. Those moments of panic can be a catalyst for deep and meaningful change if you choose. You are not the panic. The panic is a product of thoughts in your mind. The panic feels real. It feels like it really exist but it only exists in your mind. It is not real. It is illusion.

P.S.
Treat yourself as you would a child when panic arises. Reassure yourself as you would a child. When I see a child in panic I have an instant reaction to help soothe the panic away. I do the same thing for the child within me that is experiencing the panic. Everything will be ok. You are safe and loved. I am here with you. I will be strong for you in this moment and we will make it through this together. Do not fear.