I would suspect thst self is the most misunderstood word in the English language? I say this because of two reasons. Firstly, it has a rather dual meaning metaphysically and experientially. The
I Am principle pulses dynamically within the living heart of all entities... but shows itself in the most mysterious and often, contradictory of ways. Secondly, because it's almost impossible to locate any perceivable impression of self, that is not a mirage of the mind (despite it existing everywhere and within everything, as everything). By "dual meaning" I am equating the Sanskrit term Atman, as the Self, of which ego is but a tiny part therein.
Atman manifests within a pendulum of extremes in polarity, despite being the very same thing, regardless of any appearances.
Jivatman manifests as a relative, isolated vortexial fulcrum of a rather limited capacity of consciousness. The soul of mortality. It's a type of awareness which is seemingly separate from everything else in creation (seemingly, mind you). Whereas
Paramatman remains rooted in an indivisible state of unity, seamless interconnection and absolute freedom of consciousness.
I term this implied duality, as the
Isoself in seeming juxtaposition with the
Omniself, regardless of there really being only the one singular, core self, throughout the endless tapestry of parallel multiverses. It's just that the small self is wholly impermanent in nature and is kinda defenselessly compressed by illusion. Meanwhile, the greater degree of self, our own inner
Godself, is so expansive that it has no boundaries at all or discernible/quantifiable parameters. It is most infinite in nature. When the small self eclipses with the universal self, this is both immanently known and quite palpable to the soul inherent within Jivatman. Reaching out to touch the face of the
Godhead... only to realize that it is one's very own face, it always has been!
And by "almost impossible to locate" I am simply sharing my findings. I have searched deeper and deeper still, spiraling willfully within myself for more than 41 years of sitting and moving meditation. Now, what initially began within the mind of a curious 15 year old boy, has become a perpetual quest of sorts. The path was shown and so, the journey IS the destination. It hums and buzzes within this perfect moment. A moment outside of time, an eternal present. This is it, right here and now. 'Tis an emptiness within the forever changing fullness of potentiality. Interphase within this
Unified Field of Being reveals a transparency of self, leading beyond any form or attribute.
It's as if an onion is being peeled, ring by ring, with every steadfastly focused effort of sadhana and attention spent upon self inquiry. Layer after layer is removed and nothing is left to find in the core epicenter. Hence the notion of Buddha's, that all of human existence is a game of
Anatman or No-self. AKA: the
Zeroself. Thus, Atman/Self can be observed from a personal perspective in a triad manner, regardless of it's indivisible epicenterical nature.
As paradox is often the playmate of our humankind, it would seem as if the truth is that we struggle to ascertain what we already are, crystallizing magnificently in the realm of the Spirit made material. We truly are this universe seeking itself out. We are the result of our searching. Ergo, like this curiously expansive Omniverse in it's cosmic, resplendent bloom... we fervently desire to gaze into our own reflection, as individuals, without knowing we are doing so, despite said mirrored visage actually being what we each are, in sublime quintessence.
Thus we seek an ultimate truth, in diverse and multifarious ways. And there cannot be any ultimates in regards to truth. What is infinite, eternal and absolute ... is echoed and reflected within all that is existent. Ain't we got fun? Well, perhaps it is better to quip, "Ain't I got fun?" After all, there is only one of us. Atman/Self is the
All-in-All and we are each of us, THAT.
The all-pervasive field of the
I Am fulcrum, is the only one/being/thing that is ever present... EVER. Yet, we are born organically within a vast multitude of interconnected selves, forming an intricate Grid. Still, we are one. Hey, just whose dream is this anyways? The sheer truth is a wee bit ironic and even a tad comical.
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.