Hey folks.

It's been a long time since I've done Ayahuasca.
There's been a lot of DMT in between then and now but I'm finding I don't care for smoked DMT anymore. At times it starts to get AMAZING and I've even had repeat experiences with the same entities (so it seems) but it just doesn't last long enough and I always find I'm disappointed and confused.

I quit drinking Ayahuasca a bit back because I had made a hybrid brew of Syrian Rue, Mimosa & Belladonna . I will say that I have extensive experience with Datura, Belladonna and the like. I do not suggest ANYONE puts them in their brew but I also ask that you don't flame me for my usage because I am not naive when it comes to these plants.

I'm not sure if it was the Mimosa I had or if the little bit of Belladonna (2g to 10 doses) could have actually effected it this much (I READ tropanes potentiate the Harmalas) but this was by far the most life-shattering concoction I'd ever consumed. I didn't even need to close my eyes... I was visited by a blue looking entity (I'd say that looks exactly like a specific Hindu deity after research) and many other things happened that were just overwhelming but this post isn't to describe those.

In the beginning I was a little ignorant. I kept telling myself that I was respecting these plants but in retrospect, I was still just trying to get f***ed up. I don't regret it nor feel bad though because that ignorance has led me to where I am.

Back to the DMT experiences, while quite enlightening after some time (some even continued in later mushroom trips - another post for later) but just not long enough. I started on a mushroom kick but there's something that seems just a little more 'dirty' about the vibes vs Ayahuasca. Maybe it's the Harmalas? I'm not sure. It could just be my imagination.

So here I am ready to embark on a journey tonight which I have not in years - a nice Ayahuasca brew.

I don't want to explain in detail why I'm scared of it because I feel that will set a chain of bad thoughts in motion but to be perfectly honest, I am a little apprehensive.

So ya, I'm literally asking for some good vibes and wishes.
Just figured I'd post this to look for a little something uplifting to kick the day in gear.

The brew is 70g of Yellow Caapi and 20g of Hawaiian Chacruna.
I've had similar brews in the past that have been hit and miss so I may be worrying over nothing.

I have butterflies in my stomach like I'm about to ask out a girl for the first time in my life but I'm also quite excited and really hope this batch isn't a dud.

I'll be going into that space in about 3 hours. I'll post my experience after I'm done (assuming it's worth posting)!

Best wishes to any of you whom are also partaking today

sending good vibes now....sending..NOW

Bon voyage

Thanks!

I was all worried over nothing though.
It was the 70g Caapi and 20g Psychotria boiled 3x3.

It did nothing mostly. I thought I felt something for a little bit and had just the tiniest bit of nausea and had to eh relieve myself a couple times but no real purge, trance or anything remotely visual nor spiritual.

So today I'm preparing 100g Caapi and 30 Psychotria for another attempt tomorrow.

I believe my source of P.V. is just fine. All of their other plants are.

I did however purchase the Caapi from a vendor on one of our favorite bidding sites (wanted to try something new) and well, a lot of it is pretty small like 1/2 to 1 whole pinky width at best.

I've never regretted a bad/failed Ayahuasca experience though.
We often have our computer connected to our TV and on it is a picture of myself, my fiance, and our daughter not long after she was born and something about sitting there in silence and mostly darkness for 2 hours waiting to feel something while staring at the picture on the screen made it really click how much I worry about everything when really I'm quite blessed and I think I suppose most of my negativity/apprehension comes from myself.

I've kind of realized that for a while but it didn't really "click" until yesterday.

Maybe the Ayahuasca did do some magic after all.

I do know my fear of trying it again seems to have ceased and I hope I get to go in at least somewhat deep tomorrow..