Without going into too much detail about the past, about a month ago I had a serious "mental breakdown". Since then I have been suffering from extreme depression/mood swings/confusion and fatique. It all started with not sleeping for 3 days straight and walking around 4 hours in a dilerius state before I finally knocked myself out with diazepam and zopiclone.

Since this time I have been fighting tiredness/depression combined with a fear of sleeping. Whenever I DO sleep I usually experience vivid really disturbing dreams. It seems my brain is locked in some kind of hyperactive panic mode which doesn't let me go to sleep without serious sedating medication. Because of this I have been taking 5-10mg of diazepam with only a few nights exception (which resulted in sleepless nights) for almost a month now. I have never suffered from sleep problems or depression before this.

For the past 7 days I have been taking 7.5mg zopiclone, 2mg circadin(melatonin), and 5mg diazepam before I go to bed just in order to force myslef to sleep. I am well aware this is not something I can/should keep up much longer. The issue im battling with here is if I DON'T knock myself out with these extreme measures and miss a nights sleep and the symptoms are alot worse the day after resulting in even more depression/fatique/panic and fear of sleep.

I have been prescribed a SNRI (venlafaxin) for depression about 10 days ago, which I have not yet started taking. I really, really don't want to get into SSRI's or SNRI's unless it's a life or death situation.

I have been reading up on caapi tea for depression and want to try it, but I am unsure if it is safe considering the medication I am taking to sleep. I have a bag of caapi leaf and am considering to give it a try tomorrow if someone can confirm it is not dangerous combined with the meds listed above.

Any other tips on how to get out of this misserable situation are also welcome..

Why don't you trust a qualified MD? If there's distrust, get a second opinion.



Get well soon.

I think the melatonin could interact negatively with an MAOI. And obviously the SSRI's. But your doctor may be able to better advise you. It's not illegal to take an MAOI so if you just bring it up and ask about possible interactions, they could guide you.

St John's Wort is a something you could find at most stores, has a natural MAOI, and is also used as a sleep aid.

Valerian root with melatonin is a helpful sleep aid.

/\ this.

I'm sure you know, but you're dancing with a much more serious problem, benzo addiction, with the daily Valium.

I told my dr. once that i had kicked opiates over 100 times, but one experience with benzo withdrawal scared me away from those forever. Please be careful, friend.

It can be very difficult to make good self care decisions when one is in the position you describe. If you have any kind of support network, or individual you can confide in and count on, avail yourself of them.

I have none anyway, and as per rules would not provide any med advice, but you need help. Believe me, i know how hard it is to find good mental health help, and sadly it is a job just doing so. But if you have the means, meaning insurance, shopping around until you find a professional you like is worth it to regain a modicum of equilibrium. Mind altering drugs ARE NOT THE ANSWER in your position. Be safe, friend, you're loved no matter what.

/\ this.

I'm sure you know, but you're dancing with a much more serious problem, benzo addiction, with the daily Valium.

I told my dr. once that i had kicked opiates over 100 times,and frankly probably will again knowing me, but one experience with benzo withdrawal scared me away from those forever. Please be careful, friend.

It can be very difficult to make good self care decisions when one is in the position you describe. If you have any kind of support network, or individual you can confide in and count on, avail yourself of them.

I have none anyway, and as per rules would not provide any med advice, but you need help. Believe me, i know how hard it is to find good mental health help, and sadly it is a job just doing so. But if you have the means, meaning insurance, shopping around until you find a professional you like is worth it to regain a modicum of equilibrium. Mind altering drugs ARE NOT THE ANSWER in your position. Be safe, friend, you're loved no matter what.

PS: edit-I've been through alot with depression, anxiety, etc, and while very far from free of it, have learned some things that make life more than something to endure. You are invited to pm me if you just need to talk. Brain chemistry is a bitch. Peace. And good luck.

i went camping by myself for about 4 days
pen colour pencils
an mp3 player

lots of sitting by the river for hours

meditating

and finally a day of fasting and a nice hit of lsd at the end of the day and some sweets

helped balance me out good and get over weed, well havnt smoked since, like 2months, being back in the city is starting to get to me, today actually wsa the first day since that i really wanted to smoke, but still havnt had CRAVINGS LIKE Dependents .


Also the water heater has been broken in the casa for about 24days now, so every shower has been cold.
i read up on it, because it seems to help my mood; and 'lo N behold'
apparently its great for emotions
cold showers

after a few days the cold aint much
and now 24 days of cold its easy to be honest
"just wet first feet up legs - bum crack (the easiest part actually) then swing those Nuts in there unexpectedly, then arms, (for me left arm first is easier) ?
the swing back in tummy then head lolol

then out of water SOAP n shit rub down
then waSH OFF
after your body warms up better than a hot shower !!



also drink lots of water, and veges healthy, less salt
AND A GREAT STABILIZER OF NATURAL CHEMICALS IS TO DRINK A LITTLE OF YOUR OWN URINE IN THE MORNING, HONESTLY DO A LITTLE READING
EVEN START WITH A FEW DROPS IN A GLASS OF WATER IN THE MORNING, YOU WONT TASTE THAT I PROMISE
THE CELLS, THE BODY CAN READ THEM, AND NOTICE IF ALL IS ACCURATE OR OUT OF WHACK AND RE-BALANCE

ITS WORTH THE EFFORT, EVEN FOR IMMUNE HEALTH, HEALTH IS COMPLETE BODY MIND YA KNOW
HONEST A FEW DROPS IN A GLASS OF WATER, YOU AINT GONNA TASTE THAT !!

AND THOSE DROPS HELP A GALLON

I've been plagued by depression, overthinking, insomnia in the past. Tried many antidepressants, etc.

Best advice i can give is you do some daily exercise early in the day, and drink coffee in mornings only. Get a job if you havent got one, eat plenty fresh food & plenty carbs like rice and pasta. That should be enough. Avoid medications, just the simple things matter most.

Most important thing is dont worry about losing sleep. Worry creates a negative impossible to sleep loop. You will be fine ok, so relax, get some bedtime routine, and ride out the exhaustion untill you get it sorted.

Make sure your bedroom is clean, free of dust, and not too hot. Avoid alcohol, and do some light reading before bedtime to distract you from yourself and worries.

good luck & happier 2015!.

Hey ~, nice to meet you.

What I think you need right now is to get grounded, in the sense of establishing your roots in everyday reality and finding some equilibrium in your life.

I have been in a difficult state myself a few years back, and to be honest the biggest help I got, besides the love and help of others, was time. Thinking back, if I had been more proactive about it and, despite being at that time difficult to do, try and do simple tasks for myself, I think I would have gotten better sooner than I have.

You might want to make sure you are getting physical exercise, are eating healthy and drinking lots of water. It might seem difficult or perhaps unimportant to do these things right now, but I really believe that they will aid you greatly in your recovery process.

Another tip I have is to grow a plant, like a flower. Tending to its needs might help you get a sense of grounding as well. The idea here is that as its roots grow, so do yours.

Perhaps choose some sort of meditation technique or listening to relaxing music might help if you feel your mind is on overdrive.

As for the sleeping issue, maybe a warm bath and or a warm glass of milk might help. On the other hand, there was a thread here about the benefits of cold showers. I am not sure about if they work as a sleep aid, but I found cold showers helpful with depression and overall well being.

I don't know if this appeals to you, but sometimes I find praying to be helpful with problems I might be facing.

I hope all goes well for you and that you will find equilibrium as soon as possible.

How old are you? Do you have any family history of mental illness, including depression or bipolar disorder? I know you don't trust doctors, but it's best to attack these things while they are fresh, instead of allowing yourself to fall into a pattern. Reach out to friends or family, and see if they can recommend anyone they've had positive experiences.

You also might want to try a psychotherapist before you go to an GP or MD, since they might be more willing to work through your problems on a psychological level instead of just throwing drugs as you and seeing what sticks.

Blessings and good luck
~ND