Greetings all,
Great to finally join the community, I've been skimming over post the past couple years but it isn't until now that I've had a renewed interest in serious psychedelic exploration and cultivation. Over the course of the past couple years I've tripped hundreds of times including on shrooms, LSD, 4-aco-dmt, 25c-nbome, 25b-nbome, 2ce, 2cb, salvia, DMT and DPT. I have also consumed copious amounts of MDMA and cannabis, along with smaller amounts of cocaine, codine and xanax.
Before psychedelics I was a rather nihilistic rationalist, that found all his answers in science and philosophy. Thankfully for him however I stumbled upon psychedelics in college, and my first experinces blew anything I thought I ever new out of the water. My first experience was with what I now know to be 4 aco dmt, but what was sold to us as "mushroom capsules". The experience was and still is the best of my life and completely renewed my love for nature and life, something which I had lost in puberty. It also led me to chase the joy and amazement through rather heavy use of psychedelics (4-aco-dmt mostly, but also LSD, cubies, and some other RC see top). As my fascination with psychedelics increased so did the doses, until eventually 32mg of 4-aco-dmt led me to ego loss, something which I had been strifing for since I heard of the notion, but something which I was far from ready for (although I don't think anyone actually can be). I was convinced I died, I didn't know who I was, and any knowledge I though I previously held was shown to be false in a rather ruthless way, I was shown the light and the ultimate knowledge (everything is one), but as I came down I could sense I was gradually less able to comprehend it. It left me completely shattered (Everything I every thought I knew was false) and feeling rather isolated (how do you talk about something like this when everyone around you is clueless?).
The experience left me even more driven for finding answers through the use of drugs, with me at some times tripping for days straight, alternating on different drugs to beat tolerance. My cannabis use also steeply increased and I started taking coke and MDMA every weekend, along with xanax and codine on several occasions. At some point I even took DPT, which was perhaps the strangest trip of my entire life (basically my body was stuck completely fragmented like a cubist painting, with no other visuals for hours) but that is for another thread. This heavy drug use continued for months until DMT saved me from my horrible habits. On lower doses DMT was intially rather fun and novel compared to LSD and shrooms who's visuals became predicatable, but a high breakthrough dose changed everything.
The come up was rather similair to breakthrough doses on mushrooms, but at the end I was in a different physical universe. Basically I was inside a room what I can best describe as the empty House M.D operating room with the observation window on one side. Inside this room was someone completely crazy, foaming mouth, swining arms, screaming and running around like crazy. This crazy person/beings was me, or rather I was inside this crazy person, I had no control over the movements, or the thoughs yet I could feel muscles move, and the movement of air over my skin, and the weight of gravity on my feet, most of all I could feel this beings thoughts and fear yet I was not fearful myself. On the other side of the window was three or four beings observing me, like it was some sort of experiment or a mental hospital. All of the sudden something grab my hat, and I freaked out and went to grab it. Now in actuallity I was wearing my favorite hat (which I always wear when tripping) so this was really freaky, but on top of that, one of the beings observing me stated "well that f*cker has reach" when I grabbed my hat back. Considering I am really tall this made the trip very personal. When I came down I decribed my experience to my friends that were sitting beside me, and appearantly I didn't move or make a sound the entire time I was tripping. In the subsequent days, dreams and thinking about the trip made it clear to me that continuing such heavy drug use would have me end up like that, crazy running around in a metal hospital, and I decided to take a break from drug use entirely.
Drug use has however given me much valuable insight into society, art, literature, and myself so recently I've decided to start smoking weed/dabbing again, and I went hunting for p. Semicleata on which I had mellow trips with good friends a couple times. I have ordered some salvia (plain leaf, no more 20-50x as previous times) which I hopefully wil be here soon, and I intend on starting a P. mexicana truffle and Peruvian torch grow soon. Basically I intend to stay away from the artificial stuff, grow or hunt ethogens myself, and use them in a more ritualistic manner. I also intend to stay away from DMT (I can't get pure stuff anyways), at least in the near future, and I honestly I don't know if I ever want to go that far ever again anyways.
So on that note cheers,
Dabstronaut (yes I love dabs)
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