od3 wrote:
Here's the thing. It's sitting in my drawer and I am too afraid to smoke it. I feel ashamed to admit this. It is some deep rooted primal fear I don't even understand. Now that I know how extreme this experience is, I feel even after all this time, I need more time to "prepare". Whatever that means, maybe you guys know or could help me. How do I prepare properly this time? I don't want to just do this for the sake of doing it. I feel I need to approach this stuff as carefully and as respectfully as possible. It would be nice to hear some stories or advice from you guys that may alleviate my quite possibly irrational concerns.
Having fear and anxiety before blasting off is totally normal, and probably never fully goes away even with the most experienced users. Sweaty palms, trembling hands, and an increased heart rate are things I normally always experience while preparing my spice for vaporization and leading up to the first hit. The feeling to me is similar to standing on top of a bungee jump. Looking down and knowing what your about to jump into can seem scary, but after you do it you realize how incredible and liberating the rush of that experience really is, and then you come back feeling triumphant and more accomplished because you conquered those fears and gained a really phenomenal and valuable experience.
I usually do things that take my mind off of the experience right before I do it, whether it is meditation, chores, or school work. Pretrip rituals and anxiety have been discussed on the Nexus plenty so I also recommend searching for the topic
od3 wrote:
I want to know how to explore this universe properly now and also learn how to not be afraid of its power as I was the first time.
I don't think that you will ever be that naive toward its power again, but who knows!
DMT produces unique experiences every time, so trying to navigate the experience "properly" or really getting to "the core" of this experience may be a little more difficult than with other entheogens, but by all means I invite you to try
Welcome to the Nexus my friend! I really enjoyed your initial trip report and would love to hear about your second try

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others--the living--are those who pushed their control as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to choose between now and later - HST