I've read DMT Nexus for a long time and am happy now to join and participate.

I am a middle-aged professional, just starting to experiment with psychedelics to address issues of anxiety, attention deficit, and general unease and unhappiness with life since childhood. I am not a miserable person, but the feeling that there is so much more, and I may die before I experience it, has led me to get serious about psychedelics.

I have researched the heck out of psychedelics and decided that the right starting point for me is mescaline, because of its reputation as a gentle and wise teacher. I have no interest in party drugs. I don't drink or smoke, and I would never touch powerful stimulants or narcotics. However, I am convinced that psychedelics are the key to opening my mind before it's too late. If I find myself on my deathbed having lived my life in fear of failure and judgment instead of embracing experiences and love, then I will die a sad, sad man indeed.

Now I will tell about my experiences so far with San Pedro cactus. This will explain why I've chose to join DMT Nexus now. I will then list the questions that my experiences so far have created in my mind. If someone can answer them, I will be so grateful!

First experience: Made a tea of 24" of fat San Pedro cuttings from an online source with excellent customer feedback. Very slight effect only. Mild feeling of general well-being. If I didn't know for a fact that I had consumed San Pedro, I probably would have just said I was having a particularly good day.

Second experience: One week later. Another tea of 24" of fat San Pedro. Exact same experience. Went to see a movie with my girlfriend and just found it more enjoyable than usual. Otherwise nothing impressive.

Third experience: Another week later. Ate 12" of San Pedro raw. Exact same experience (or lack thereof) as first two times.

Fourth experience: About ten days later. By this time I had weaned myself completely off clomipramine, which I take for OCD, thinking that maybe it was blocking the action of mescaline in my brain, keeping me from having a proper experience. This time I made a tea of FIVE FEET of San Pedro. I spent two whole evenings preparing this tea, and on a Saturday morning I drank it all. According to everything I've ever read about San Pedro, this was roughly five times the typical dose. (By the point I was frustrated with San Pedro and decided that it was time to "go big or go home," by which I mean that I was ready to move on to mushrooms.)

The experience was totally different this time, but still not at all what I expected. I felt nothing for nearly three hours. The come-up took place in the next two or three hours, but by the peak, I was experiencing only a few noteworthy things:

1. Smiling like a maniac at everything. Everything made me happy.
2. Mild open-eye visuals. I ate a bowl of soup that looked like it was boiling in the bowl as I ate it. My girlfriend's bathroom carpet looked like it was gently waving.
3. Oddly, though, NO closed-eye visuals. When I lay down and closed my eyes, I saw the same darkness on the back of my eyelids that I see when I'm sober. Also, music was nothing special.
4. Anything funny was really, really, really funny. I was having normal conversations with my girlfriend, only when something was funny, I would laugh with a total loss of control. It was fun, but not mind-expanding by any means.

My girlfriend was very kind to sit for me, and thank God she did, because of what I'm going to describe next.

About eight or nine hours after I first drank the tea of FIVE FREAKING FEET of San Pedro, we lay down on her bed. Suddenly I remembered vividly something I hadn't thought about much in years. When I was a boy, my mother abruptly divorced my stepdad. (She was very emotionally unstable.) Everything that was my life at that time--my house, my yard, my school, my neighborhood friends, my dog--were just gone in the blink of an eye. My little sister...gone to live with her dad, my stepdad, whom I saw only a handful of times after that. Me...off to live with my dad, who was always good to me but was married to a non-nurturing woman with her own psychological problems, not a loving stepmom at all. My mom, who was 30, remarried within months to a 19-year-old fry cook who had been dishonorably discharged from the Marines.

Holy shit, I realized...I hadn't thought about this episode of my childhood for years, and it COMPLETELY RUINED MY LIFE. All these revelations kept pouring into my mind, as if a floodgate had been opened wherever all of my ancient memories and feelings had been trapped for years and years.

And I sobbed. Oh my God, did I sob. I had heard the phrase "sobbing uncontrollably," but I had no concept of what that meant. I was truly out of control. All I could do was clutch desperately at my girlfriend (God bless her!) and heave and gush from my eyes and babble incoherently. That is, my speech was incoherent, but not my thoughts; my thoughts were crystal-clear. I could see exactly how that experience, that I'd suppressed for over thirty years, had led to every failed relationship, every stupid decision, every selfish act, every foolish choice, every act of cruelty, every wrong thing in my life...it ALL started when I lost my childhood, and not only could not protect and save myself, but also felt that I had somehow wronged my little sister by not keeping her from suffering, too. (Since then I have had a good life, but she went off the rails as a teenager and has been a wreck ever since. I have felt guilty about this my whole adult life. What did I do to deserve success, while she lives on welfare and has another kid by a different no-good guy every couple of years?)

This went on for over an hour, maybe nearly two hours. Then, at last, I felt that San Pedro had accomplished what it intended. Not what I wanted or expected--not by a long shot!--but what I truly needed. And I felt incredible! I wanted to climb a mountain and just scream triumphantly at the sky as loudly and powerfully and aggressively and joyously as I possibly could! (My girlfriend offered to drive us to the nearby state park where I could do just that, but honestly I was physically exhausted and said no thank you.) I realized that I had been suppressing the part of me that is just a "normal guy" for most of my life. I had an overwhelming desire to simply go and be a man: to watch football, to pat other men on the back, to eat a big steak, all simple things that I'd never allowed myself to enjoy because I somehow had to be better, smarter, tougher...anything but just A NORMAL GUY.

We went out for a meal that night, and it was the best tasting meal I'd had in a very long time. It was almost as though I had never tasted food before. It was such a great night. The next day, we went to a nature preserve and just walked amidst nature and talked for hours. It was fantastic. Over a week later, I am still processing and integrating everything I learned from San Pedro that day. I know I'm not done learning, and definitely not done healing, but damn, am I off to a great start!

Here are the questions I'm left with:

1. I drank a very carefully made tea from FIVE FEET of San Pedro, and yet my experience was not at all what I typically think of as "psychedelic". If anything, it was more like what I always read about MDMA. I know mescaline has MDMA-like properties, especially at low doses according to many experience reports, but I took FIVE FEET! How is this possible?
2. Why didn't I throw up? I had mild nausea for the first couple of hours, that's all.
3. Why didn't I experience closed-eye visuals, a sense of oneness with everything, awe of nature, brightening of colors, incredible beauty of music? Some of these things seem to be threshold effects for many people; for me they were simply non-existent.
3. Could I just have a high tolerance for mescaline? Back when I did drink, it seemed to take gallons of alcohol to make me tipsy. I've smoked pot three times and felt an effect only one of those time. I even have to take a triple dose of Nyquil to get relief from cold symptoms. Is it possible that I just need lots more mescaline than most people in order to get the same effect?
4. What's the likelihood that my next experience will be like this? Although this was an amazing healing experience, I'd rather not spend hours sobbing uncontrollably, drooling on myself and shaking and crying and blubbering and babbling. I know that this pain leads to great healing; that's not the part I have a problem with. I just don't want the neighbors to hear me and call the police, or waste my girlfriend's day using her as my personal box of tissues. She was wonderful to support me the first time; I'm not sure I want to ask her to go through that again.
5. Is it possible that I'm wrong about mescaline being the right entheogen for me? Could I be better off with shrooms or something? I have a feeling San Pedro is the teacher for me at this point in my life, but could I be totally wrong?

Before anyone asks, I guarantee my tea "tek" was good. I'm a scientist, understand chemistry, and understand what makes sense and what doesn't in every tek anyone has ever posted online. It's possible the cactus was weak, even though they came from an established supplier. But whatever alkaloids were in those five feet of San Pedro, I promise you they ended up in my belly.

Even though I am a scientist, this experience has made me completely open to mystical explanations. Did San Pedro deny me a classic psychedelic experience because it knew that I needed (and probably still need) to get through my psychological pain first? Is this just part of teaching me what I need, not what I desire?

You are so kind if you've read this far. If you have any answers, partial answers, educated guesses, or even just wild speculations about my experience with San Pedro so far, please know that I will be most grateful to hear from you.

Oh, by the way, thank you for having me in your community.

You know, I never liked phenylethylamines, despite that; welcome aboard!

First off, let me tell ya. DMT is a loving kick in the teeth

My life has been so much better. I used to be an anti social sadist
but now you know.. I value alot more things in life. I connect with people. I'm patient, I feel at peace and I'm happy.

DMT to me is so much more than a psychedelic experience. I feel almost reset. Like when I'm back from a trip I feel so energetic, positive about life, like all my worries and anxieties have been left behind.

There's more though, I gain an understanding of how my life, choices, thoughts.. everything all interact together to create my life experience. With this understanding I have an urge to improve, strive to be better, and cut out what's undesirable.

Welcome aboard friend! I'm glad you're here! I'd like for you to have this journey for yourself. There are alot of really awesome people here too

Hello! I will start off by saying that I too, am new to the nexus, although I have done quite a bit of reading over the years. I had just made my account a few hours ago, and was periodically checking active topics to post on, while I read other things. That is when I saw your thread. I have to say that I enjoyed this story, it was a good read. I believe you and your introductory story are a great example of what proper use of psychedelics can achieve. And it sounds like you are approaching it in the right way. Or rather, you are going about it in a way that strikes me as good ettiquite.
As far as the strength of your tea goes, there are many factors that could be the cause.
Unfortunately, san pedro and mesc are one of the few things I know very little about. Now that I think about it, I should get on that and do some reading.
You could always try a different supplier, just to compare.
I have never tried mesc, and so I cant really speak out of firsthand experience. I do not want to deny its ability and rightful place among the plant teachers. However, I have always understood it to be a "speedy" psychedelic molecule, that is more taxing on the neurochemistry when compared with other naturally occuring psychedelic substances.
The most effective teacher, in my opinion, is dmt. I also see it as the most natural. No psychedelic is more suited for your biology than dmt. After all, your brain does make its own small supply. Dmt, to me, is just fascinating in every way. The mystery of dmt is very perplexing indeed.
If you are preparing san pedro teas, then an ayahuasca type brew would be no trouble for you.
And if you are/were prepared for (and dont mind) a purge, then it may be something you would be interested in trying. Also, there is a way to reduce/eliminate purge when using acacia root bark for huasca type brew, by removing the tannins using egg whites. You can find the specifics of this method with a simple search. But, beware: if you eliminate the purge you may very well end up with le rectal purge at the backend of the experience (pun intended) as well as stronger body load and upset stomache, as I have heard this is the result of egg white tannin removal of acacia brew.

Thank you, 1ce and Majakal.

I don't hear many people say they don't care for phenethylamines, but that's why I'm here: to get new perspectives and change my way of thinking.

This may be kind of ironic, since I'm posting this on DMT Nexus, but it never occurred to me that I could take ayahuasca at my experience level. I just assumed that DMT is something I'd have to work my way up to. I can't tell you why I assumed that; I just did. Now I'm reconsidering.

I'll start researching ayahuasca preparations. I'm a little scared of taking ayahuasca without an experienced sitter, and I don't know any psychonauts at all, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Until then, I'm going to take San Pedro at least one more time, so I don't make the mistake of moving on from it before I've learned what I can from it.

Thanks again!

[EDIT: I should have mentioned that the sitter issue was a big reason I started with San Pedro/mescaline. I was never "out of it" during my experience. I'm really happy my girlfriend was there, but I was never in any danger and would have survived just fine without a sitter.]

Hi and welcome startrek! (What a cool nic name )


I can't answer any of you questions regarding the mescaline. I'd just like to welcome you and to tell you not to miss looking into what changa is and how to make it.

Welcome to the Nexus! A fine and well written introduction. It was a pleasure to read and I am glad that you took the time to write all this, it must have taken ages Cya around

steppa and lil_okie, thank you for reading my introduction and welcoming me.

steppa, I've started reading about changa as you suggested. I'd never given it any thought at all, but it sounds fascinating the more I read now.

Hello again. I'm just using this space to provide an update.

I have obtained a lot more San Pedro cactus and am making another brew tonight. I think I will drink it on Saturday, when I don't have to work and my girlfriend is around to help me if needed.

This may be the last time I try San Pedro before trying ayahuasca or changa. I feel that San Pedro has more to teach me. The first time I actually tripped (see my original post above), San Pedro showed me a huge problem in my life and allowed me to feel the powerful feelings about it that I've suppressed for many years. I have a feeling that this time, San Pedro will teach me something about how to deal with those feelings permanently and adjust the way I live my life accordingly. It's just one problem in my life out of many, but I want to give San Pedro a full opportunity to work on it with me.

I've had dozens of sessions with therapists and NEVER made as much progress as I did in a single session with San Pedro. I'm sure this will come as no surprise to the denizens of the DMT Nexus.

The cacti, unlike the previous times, were not pretty. I intentionally acquired a bunch of twisted, dirty, scarred specimens. I did this for two reasons. First, I've read that psychedelic cacti produce more alkaloids in response to stress, which seems logical. Second, I feel a personal affinity for these specimens; their appearance on the outside is like me on the inside. Maybe if I ingest them, and they see the damage inside me, they will take pity on me and help me heal.

I have also been off my antidepressant for a month now. My first three attempted trips, I was still on the antidepressant, and the effects were barely more than placebo. The fourth attempt, and my first real trip, I had weaned myself off the antidepressant just a few days before, and it took a massive dose of San Pedro (the tea of five 12" cuttings) to trip. I strongly suspect that the antidepressant was still in my system, affecting my serotonin receptors and blocking some of San Pedro's action. Now I should be completely clear of the antidepressant, so if San Pedro's going to have its full effect, now's the time!

See you all again in a few days, when I hope to report an amazing learning and healing experience. Thanks for reading!

THIS⬆️

The Spirt Molecule awaits, the joyful elves are waiting for your visit!
We're all family here man. If you need anything I can guarantee you'll find the help you seek here(:
Good luck with your journeys friend.

Welcome to the Nexus

Such a beautiful tale startrek, my eyes are welling up after experiencing your transformation.
Thank you

I recommend Trichocereus bridgesii or Trichocereus peruvianus. From what i have read not only do they have slightly larger mescaline content but more reliable as well. I think pedro is more variable but dont quote me on that part.

Amazing read and welcome to the nexus. I patiently await your report on Saturdays experience. IMO any psychedelic can be your first. Even dmt. I dont feel that you can prepare yourself for any psychedelic experience except to create proper set and setting which it seems you have.

I def recommend you try em all. Mushrooms especially, they are my favorite.

Greetings, friends, and thanks for reading. This post is about my second significant experience with San Pedro cactus. It's also about my evolving thoughts about psychedelics, which I hope some of you will be so kind as to comment on.

As suggested in my previous post, these San Pedro cuttings were indeed stronger than the ones I used for my first trip. I consumed the tea from about 3 feet of cuttings, which were on average a little thinner than the ones from my first trip, which came from 5 feet, and yet the effects I felt were very similar.

I won't write a proper trip report, since those are available all over the web, and mine wasn't much different from anyone else's. I'm just going to focus on a few details that I consider important.

BODY LOAD: The body load (feeling of heaviness and loss of muscle control) on San Pedro is strong. I found it unpleasant to do anything but lay in the dark and listen to music. That was great in a way, because I'm doing this for healing, not for fun, and laying in the dark and listening to music is perfect for meditation and contemplation. However, after I drank the tea but before it took full effect, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream, and by the time we were done, I was desperate to get back to her apartment and lay down in the dark. Being out in daylight amongst people was almost unbearable.

HAVING A SITTER: I can't overstate the value of having someone nearby who loves me. It's not because I felt at any point that I would go nuts; I was never in any danger of going out of my mind. San Pedro's nothing like that. But having my girlfriend near was so comforting that I felt completely free to laugh, moan, cry, and just generally be whatever I felt I had to be at the moment. I would have been too self-conscious if it were just an acquaintance, and having no one near would have felt a bit empty during those MDMA-like moments that San Pedro seems fond of bringing. (Actually I've never taken MDMA, but my feelings on San Pedro are almost exactly like every description I've ever read of how MDMA makes someone feel, even more than it resembles what I've read about mescaline, oddly enough.)

VISUALS: Unlike my first San Pedro trip, the open-eye visuals this time were more than just seeing things wave slightly. I saw vivid colors, and patterns became lush and alive. Objects without a well-defined shape took on the appearance of weird and wonderful things: a folded blanket, for example, became a blue-skinned alien creature with white fingers. Of course, at no time did I think these perceptions were real, but they were definitely cool. As for closed-eye visuals, I again had none. This continues to puzzle me. It seems like every report about San Pedro, peyote, or mescaline in particular reports closed-eye visuals at the threshold level; I've been beyond threshold and seen nothing whatsoever with eyes closed.

MUSIC: The wrong music was unpleasant. I put in several CDs with electronic beats and repetitive chords, and they just grated on my nerves. But when I put in something orchestral and soulful (Filigree & Shadow by This Mortal Coil, for what it's worth), it practically transported me to another world. I cried almost continuously for nearly two hours, not in a traumatized, grieving way as in my previous trip, but just in the way of realizing what astonishing beauty I had failed to notice in music that I'd listened to dozens of times before. And the words! The words just about tore my heart out.

INSIGHT: My previous trip resulted in an insight about my childhood that is still having life-changing effects as I continue to contemplate it and see how it has affected my life in ways I never understood before. This trip, in contrast, was mostly aesthetic—it was about music foremost, and also colors and patterns. The major insight of this trip seems kind of trite, although it's still very important to me: I realized that the worst thing you can do to another human being is to deny them the right to feel what they feel. I thought about all the times I've gotten angry with someone for expressing their feelings, and how cruel it was of me to deny them the right to feel however they felt, because one's feelings are the most fundamental thing that makes you “you.” If I ever tell a child he shouldn't cry, or tell a woman she shouldn't be jealous, or tell a sad person that there's nothing to be sad about, I am abusing that person. And why have I done that? Because I was damaged as a child, and I developed the false belief that feelings are irrational and should be overcome with logic and strength. But that's bullshit, and I'm not going to think that way anymore!

Now, about psychedelics:

San Pedro is definitely a “teacher plant,” as I've seen it described many times. It shows you things, but what I'm learning is that they are earthly things. I have learned a few important truths that are making me a better human being as I think about them and try to put them to work in my life. However, there are a couple of reasons I think San Pedro is going to be a short-term or occasional psychedelic for me.

First, the body load is really rough. I feel a bit beat-up, not terrible, just like I need a day or two to recover. I expected to need a day or two to recover emotionally or spiritually, because that's part of healing. But I don't drink alcohol or take hard drugs because I don't want to suffer physically; I do this for healing, and if I have to recover physically from “healing,” then I'm not sure it's quite the healing I need. I have a job and people to take care of; I can't afford to be sluggish for two or three days after I trip.

Second, the experience is so earthly (so far) that I feel as though I may not find the universal truths and oneness with creation that I crave. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need some other medicine that can take me deeper.

Third, San Pedro requires a huge investment for each trip. My two trips have cost me about $75 in cuttings, plus water and gas for cooking, plus ten hours of preparation time, plus ten hours for the experience itself. I don't mean to sound lazy or cheap; it's clear to me that these experiences are worthy of my time and money, and I've invested gladly. Still, there seem to be cheaper, easier, and more enlightening entheogens out there. Why shouldn't I take advantage of them?

I think mushrooms are next. I'm reading up on DMT and think it's going to be an awesome medicine for me, as it is for so many others. But I like the idea of growing my mushrooms, getting a large harvest for my effort, and of having shorter trips.

That being said, I really appreciate San Pedro's/mescaline's gentleness. There has been nothing scary about my introduction to psychedelics, and I've been able to have these experiences without going broke, without having any drug connections, and without needing an experienced sitter. (Have I mentioned what an angel my girlfriend is?) I will always appreciate what San Pedro is doing for me now.

I have five more feet of San Pedro to prepare. I'm going to push the limits, ingest as much as I can—hopefully all of it—and see if San Pedro can take me where I want to go. If not...that's okay, and God bless San Pedro for bringing me this far! One more report to follow...maybe in week or two...

P.S. In addition to shrooms, I am seriously considering ayahuasca or maybe just large amounts of marijuana (since I've only done it socially long ago and have not explored its mind-altering possibilities at all), but there is no way, not a chance, that my next psychedelic will be straight DMT, i.e., smoked. It sounds horrible to me, honestly. I can't understand how anyone learns anything useful from the psycho-circus-machine-elf-McKenna's-nightmare-brain-fuck most people seem to report. If you'd like to convince me otherwise, I'm all ears.

Greetings startrek, welcome to the nexus

I absolutley loved reading your intro story, I for one am particularly fond of the cacti myself. To answer a few of your questions, 5 ft for one is one heck of a load, and although you dont risk OD, you could have possibly been way over your head with that much. I have had amazing expperiences with only 18in of cactus, and i think the key in cooking it is the amount of timee you give it. The first time I cooked the whole cactus in a crock pot for 24-72 hrs before straining the liquid, and then simmer down to a shot or two worth. The longer the better IMO. Also add a good fl oz or two of lemon juice to bring out some more of the alks

Also dont worry about your next experience, from the sound of it you seem to have made a triuphant victory over your repressed memories. I woulldnt say at all youve worked through it all, but to answer another question, the crying and sobbing very well may have been your purge. Purging is not always physical matter that leaves the body, it can be emotional energy as well, and you seemed to have quite an epic purge I might add . Chances are your next experience, since theres no surprise to be had, it should hopefully give you a much more grounded perspective on the matters, and allow you to more constructivly heal yourself.

As far as what you mentioned on it being costly, you should buy afew cuttings just to grow for yourself. It is a very rewarding process, and a great way to streghthen the bonds between you and your new teacher.

Hope your next experience goes well, please fill us in

Beautiful story, thanks so much for telling it.
Mescaline actually sounds not dissimilar from MDMA, or MDA, from my experience of only having used the latter two. Though, I've never had such an experience that left me sobbing.

I am excited to hear more.

Loved the intro startrek! Parts of it resonate with me in that I've also had my past thrown at me (abuse and anxiety a plenty) with teary-eyed, yet amazing results. I'm happy you were able to help yourself and have stayed away from some of the (heh, legal) negative influences that surround us every day as well. I've never done San Pedro, but it was a great story. Might be in the cards down the road!

Welcome and thanks for sharing your journey!

Thank you to Husky, BearWhoDreams, and Bdevall158 for your welcomes! I so much appreciate the welcoming attitude and supportiveness here on the Nexus.

Bdevall158, thanks for your insights and suggestions especially. I am cooking my next brew right now, and it has been boiling for over 20 hours. It consists of five 12-inch cuttings (nice and ugly and stressed) plus the brew from about one 12-inch cutting that I couldn't drink before. I will be careful with this batch and not take too much, since it will be stronger if your suggestion is accurate. And I never thought about my emotional breakdown being my purge, but perhaps so! It was definitely a purge of some kind, no doubt about it. But to be quite honest, next time I would rather just puke.

I have already planted a 6-inch cutting and a 4-inch cutting (both very attractive tips) which have not rooted yet. I live in a cold climate, so I'm prepared to wait until there is more sunlight and warmth until they root. I have also set aside a 6-inch tip cutting (gnarly and ugly...with personality!) for planting as soon as it finishes drying on the cut end. I promised San Pedro that I would cultivate some of my cuttings in exchange for teaching and healing. Also, I need something to show the DEA when they show up and ask why so much psychedelic cactus is shipped to my home, where obviously no cactus grows.

Thanks again for your encouragement and support, everyone.

I've enjoyed your stories, and welcome to the nexus.

With any psychedelic journey, integration is key. Please be safe (especially coming off anti-depressants) and be open letting time help you understand the journeys you take and appreciate the moment you're in, not the next one you think will provide the answer. Always take care of yourself as the top priority!

Namaste

I'm sorry it has been so long, but I feel that I owe an update to those who were so kind to help and support me with my San Pedro questions.

In short: San Pedro was a bust for me. I am moving on to mushrooms.

That batch that I was brewing when I made my last post? I froze it and saved it for about four months. I just wasn't in the mood for another experience until then. This says something good about my initial experiences with San Pedro, of course: they gave me some satisfaction and calming. But then I decided I needed to go deeper, and the result was disappointing, not because of any inherent problem with San Pedro, but because of my circumstances.

I take clomipramine for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). For my first couple of San Pedro experiences, I either reduced or eliminated clomipramine dosage in order to prevent it from interfering with the experience. However, I couldn't do that again, because the drug is too important to keeping my OCD symptoms at bay. I decided to just take a very large dose of San Pedro and hope for the best.

I made an extremely concentrated brew from six foot-long cactus cuttings, as mentioned in my last post. I recently drank a little more than half of it, or the equivalent of about 40 inches of cactus. Two hours later, I puked my guts out. Half an hour after that, I puked my guts out again. "This is it," I said to myself and my ever-patient and understanding girlfriend. "This is when the experience is supposed to really kick in."

NOTHING. No visuals, no deep thoughts, no emotional insights. Not a single noticeable effect. Apparently a sufficient dose of clomipramine absolutely negates any effect of mescaline, at the least in my particular brain.

So that's it for me and San Pedro. I can't tolerate not being on clomipramine, and I can't subject myself to another mouthful of that horrible, horrible brew. San Pedro taught me something very, very important (see my earlier posts), and I am so grateful for that, but now I must find the teacher who can take me to the next level.

Mushrooms, here I come.

Hi startrek!

Thanks for writing about your experiences with cactus and how it has helped you. I personally love mescaline. Its probably my favourite psychedelic due to it's gentle, but still quite ferocious character. Like you, I have cleaned out some good cobwebs through my use of mesc.

I know you feel like you are done with cactus, but why not try an extraction? It sounds like you do quite well with your background in science. Also since psychedelic cacti have such a random alkaloid profile, its all ways nice to know how much you are actually taking. Eating 5 feet of cactus could have gone horribly wrong and you might have been sworn off psychedelics for good. Specially since it was your first experience.

The mushroom is also a great friend of mine. I would start small with mushrooms and work your way up. I wouldn't do the "go big, or go home" technique, as that can easily end very badly. I know from personal experience.

Good luck on your future adventures and please let us know how you get on

Great intro. Don't give up on cactus! You are just getting shitty cacti. I bet I even know where you are ordering it from. Despite whatever the seller may say, most of the "San Pedro" in the US (including his) is what Smith and Trout call PC, or predominant cultivar, pachanoi, and it is weak (like ~.3% whole plant or less, while good San Pedro can be 2% wp). Real pachanoi can be found but it's not common here and you need to know what you are looking for (you can start here). Assuming that you don't, Bridgesii is your best bet - while there's still a chance of getting a dud, it's a much lower chance, at least in the US . Do NOT (seriously please!) start with 5 feet of bridgesii! Try 1 first, or possibly less if it is a fat cutting. PM me if you want advice on finding suitable cacti - I promose it's worth it!

I also second taking it easy at first with mushrooms. They are a lot less forgiving.