It's been two weeks after I went to a Bufo Alvarius session with a Mexican Illuminated Teacher, This something I woke up with seven days later.
Researched afterwards that the recommended dosage was about 12mg, for a soothing experience, asked my teacher and he told me it was indeed 100mg of the venom.
If anyone's interested in my expirience I'd gladly open up another subject.
First of all I deeply thank everyone who takes the time to read this.
Monday, October 27, 2014. Earth.
A week in this world.
I have one week living, have a one week feeling. I have seven days living in this reality, This reality I finally love with all my soul.
I have seven days experiencing everything for the first time, Seven days playing for the first time with my senses and discovering my sixth sense, seven days feeling everything around me with a beautiful intensity, seven days a accepting and laughing at every one of the things that has happened in this life, seventh day of life.
I miss the music of my renaissance, I miss the memory of nonexistence. But how could I have a memory of something that didn't exist? How could I remember something that didn't exist? How can my mind remember "something" when in that space or state there was "nothing". Nothing IS something, so I can't say there was "nothing" in that space.
That sense of eternal light and emptiness got incrusted in my soul. That inexistent experience became the most beautiful thing that has never happened, the most amazing thing I've never experienced. Ceased to exist, for the first time in all of my lives, Inexistense. I've fought this whole life trying to Exist. Exist in someone's life, exist in any profession, Existe there exist here, Exist, Exist Exist. Today I realize my selfishness, and I've learned that this fight was an endless struggle that I've won today, I've overcome a struggle, I never thought that for me to be able to Existi, I've ought to first know the feeling of Inexistense first... and today, Today I exist within me and all around everything.
Today, seven days later, I realize that there is not a secret to this life, something I've looked for since I saw the first glimpse of illumination, can not remember how I came to see that little ray of light a couple of years ago, but it has guided me to this path.
Today I feel, understand, hear, see, and know that the "secret of life" does not exist. This life has no secrets. A Secret is something hidden, something that nobody knows, something occult. And life? How can this life keep a secret, If we can all SEE this life, We can all Feel this life, this life without secrets, Life is out there! Life is in here! why would we look for the secret of life or the reason we're here?, we're searching for something that does not exist. There is NO secret, there is NO REASON why we're in this world, It's only US and this LIFE. NOthing else. No secret.
The truth is a lie, and the lie is the truth. If there was a secret to this life, I finally know. It's ME, I'm the secret to this life. I do not know myself, I'm hidden, No one knows about my trueself, WE ARE THE SECRET TO THIS LIFE. we don't truly know ourselves. we do not know what we are, we are the definition of "A Secret" the day we discover ourselves we'll know that the "secret" was that ever was none! The answers are inside of us not out there.
Life, Death, Creation, Destruction, Laughter, Mourn, Feeling, Thinking. Embrace with your soul each and every one of our emotions and feelings, experience them that this is our gift and then let them go forever, so we can continue to expirience more feelings.
Today, I stopped looking for something that was always close to me, Today I've stopped looking for something that I've found. Today I accept everything that crosses my path. Today I live within me, I finally embrace solitude, today I enjoy to be with my true self.
Today I EXIST.