Hello fellow explorers!

My name is Ben, I've first tried Hallucinogens during winter break in 8th grade. I fell in love with them ever since. By 9th grade I was taking LSD, and what we called ecstasy way back then; I candy flipped (lsd+xtc) almost every single weekend all through high school. Me and my friends used to experiment with drugs ALOT as people were less prone to rip other people off back then and there were no research chemicals floating around. I've bought vials of liquid acid and ran through them in a week. I think my favorite trip was mescaline, or what I was told was mescaline, it came in a capsule so who knows what it actually was, but either way I loved the feeling they gave me.
After high school my use slowed down, then after I turned I'd say 21ish it came to a screeching halt. Skip a few years and all I did was smoke marijuana with the occasional drink here and there, (only because ecstasy had disappeared by then, along with me hearing anything about lsd at all, and even the mushrooms I'd partake in every few years were fun for an hour and then the introspective part would kick in and I'd get bad anxiety and they just didnt give me the feeling they once did.
So at the age of 28 I got a phonecall that my grandmother who pretty much raised me passed away really suddenly (as in we spoke that morning and she said she didnt feel good; but I didnt think anything of it). She pretty much raised me as both of my parents were addicts so this news really destroyed me. I did what any normal 28 year old pothead would do when the first person they are close to passes away, started taking opiates (doh)
4 years later and Im a full blown addict when I get another call this time it was my mother who passed away. She had a stroke at 46 and had some sort of infection in her neck that made the doctors want to remove her voice box to stop it from spreading and she kept putting it off and pushing it back and it finally got her. My mom had her issues when I was little but she was a really good mother and it still chokes me up to think about what happened to her. My addiction got worse and shortly after I was putting needles in my arm every few hours just so I wouldnt be sick, it makes my stomach turn just recalling it.
3 Months after she passed I checked myself into a detox facility and was put on suboxone, a nasty drug they give to opiate addicts so big pharma can get all your drug money instead of the guy up the street. Sweet! I wasnt told the side effects or withdrawals whichs are MUCH longer than the withdrawals from street opiates (ignorance of anything after 2000 is my own fault, I should have researched what I was putting into my body but I trusted the group of doctors who assured me this was the key to my problem) anywho skip to 3 years later and I still havent taken any sort of psychadelic Im shooting coke a few times a week and occasionally smoking weed here and there and I came across some mushrooms and im taken on a RIDE. The trip which I ate alone was pure hell. The mushrooms kept reminding me what a piece of shit I was for having no job and for wasting my life and letting substances decide my every move. Great!
A few months later (april 2014) and a methadone clinic opens in my city; my suboxone clinic was smack dab in the middle of boston and I live 15 miles outside of it so it was a bitch getting there twice a week so I switched to methadone and I've been doing good ever since. I'm a huge fan of the Joe Rogan Experience and he talks about DMT all the time so I had my ears to the street for the last few years dying to try it; praying it would give me some sort of closure or at least insight into the who what were when why and how of my mother and grandmothers fate, but no matter where I looked it was impossible to find.
Then I found this place and lets just say here I am less than a month later with the knowhow to create my own
A few weeks ago I managed to get a bunch of goo out of some ACRB and started experimenting. I only had a few glass pieces I'd use to smoke marijuana out of so I tried a few of those but always seemed to burn the spice with my bic and no matter what I did, after that 2nd hit I'd still be in my body, in my room, just with my posters and everything else in my room looking really strange (like a mushroom trip with really intense visuals) I think it was partly my smoking technique and partly me being scared of taking the plunge into the void and finding what I was looking for. So I procured a Micro G Pen from the intarwebz and now that Im down to my last 300mgs of Goo, Im thinking tonight is the night Im just gonna put a bunch of it in the chamber and hope for the best. I've been tinkering with this molecule for a few weeks now and I almost did it yesterday (while hanging out in the nexus chatroom, which is really awesome and full of amazing human beings BTW) but I must have burnt the crystals (I ended up with only a tiny bit of crystals and a bunch of goo from my first extraction. I put 60mg of xtals in and the g pen and figured it would be plenty but I guess they burnt or something?!) I smoked them mixed with a bit of goo while in my bed with a candle lit next to me and some TOOL playing in the background but it was more of the same, intense visuals but no loss of my body or environment.
so Tonight Im going to vape a full 100mgs of goo and hope for my first breakthrough. and thats where I am right now! Im not sure if I was supposed to type all of that for my intro as I didnt read anyone elses but eff it Im an open person and I hope to become a member of this beautiful community you guys have here and I just wanna say thanks for existing and I've already learnt so much from this forum and I'm excited at the prospect of learning more. Thanks and Godspeed!

Ben

Ben, you've been through enough without being hit by 100mg all at once. I'm moved by your story, but if you correctly vaporize and inhale 100mg of DMT, you will be more than moved

I know of nobody who can handle 100mg if vaped properly. A DMT breakthrough is the highest a heroic dose of anything you can do, anything more just goes to stupidsville and blank town. If you can even somehow manage to inhale that much spice quick enough before you black out, you probably aren't likely to remember much.

I don't know if it's because we are doing a crappy job of keeping misinfo under control or if other places on the internet are inspiring people to be so reckless, but I'm seeing a lot of this on here with new members. 30mg of pure crystalline spice vaped correctly will be a complete breakthrough for most people.

Get a milligram scale, weigh your dose, know the score.

And with that said, enjoy

But seriously, slow dowwwwwnnn bud.

WOW, yeah thats definitely not something I want to put myself through right now. I was confused with the proper dosage and im using light brown goo instead of xtals so I thought maybe the dose should be upped because it has other alkaloids in it. also my technique wasnt exactly the greatest so I was accounting for the amount I'd burn and waste but I dont want to put myself into something Im not ready for yet.

Thanks orion!

well I did exactly what orion said not to do. I put maybe 80mg of acrb goo into a bowl sandwiched between maybe a .2 of some pretty good indica. (I only did that much because 60mg of pure crystals the day before only put me into that shroomy trip place I spoke about in the first post of this thread, so I figured the goo must have had less of the dmt alkaloid so I'd need more, DEAD WRONG) I milked the 18 inch bong until I couldnt anymore, and then I held it until my body started buzzing.

this is where stuff gets cloudy and I more lost my mind and myself moreso than met with entities who spoke with geometrical shapes and love. Right when I came back my girlfriend who was sitting next to me chatting to her friend on facebook when I took the huge bong hit, was scared and saying all this stuff to me. She told me she smoked some too and my terror intensified tenfold, because that was the first few minutes I came back when I thought I extracted it incorrectly and created a totally different drug and now she was also gonna be trapped in an infinite hell like I was.

for a few minutes I really thought I broke myself, I kept looking at the clock and it didnt move and I was positive I extracted it wrong somehow or did way too much and fucked my brain up for good, or even somehow came back to the wrong dimension where I had done something really bad to myself and I'd never be the same. I didnt describe the experience because there was really nothing to describe, it was a soul shattering loop of infinite fear after I inhaled the hit my body started buzzing and then I heard the cosmic static and things flashed before my eyes but it just filled me with a feeling of dread and total terror more than anything else. I became the void and came back to talk about it, I'm not a spiritual person but something changed me last night.

the scariest part was it took me a few hours (2+) after I came back to until the terror died down, and all I could think about was how everyone says that this stuff lasts 30 minutes MAX so at the 1 hour mark I was positive I was stuck in my own living hell for eternity. I was crazy

If anything good came out of this its that today I feel better than I have in a long time. I'm not as anxious, im more talkative, I think I'm just so ecstatic that Im not stuck in that place forever that its making me genuinely happier from the core of my being. I feel like I have a second shot at life as crazy as that sounds. I still want to go to that place of fractals and entities that I hear so much about, but if theres a chance of me going back to the place I went last night then its gonna take some balls and some time before I can build the courage to inhale that molecule ever again.

this post is all over the place I'm still trying to put the pieces back together but I feel blessed to have this community to express this to because my poor girlfriend must think im a loony toon after last night. Im gonna hop in chat and sip this tea on my porch while enjoying the fall weather in new england if anyone wants to talk.

Much love + gratitude to the nexians

<3


PS. Today I have a certain clarity that I've never experienced. I feel great. I feel humbled and ready to take on life. Clearly I'm a work in progress, and I'm starting to be ok with that.