I was very excited to discover this community a few weeks ago, and finally decided to stop lurking and become a real member.

I've been interested in psychedelics for a couple of years: their historical usage, their scientific properties, and above all else how wonderful an effect they can have on my personally. I have been dealing with bipolar disorder and PTSD for as long as I can remember, and the usual medications that the authorities have prescribed me never worked; if anything, they made me worse. After an overwhelmingly positive experience with psilocybin, I decided to continue down that path. I have been meditating for a few months now, and already I find myself seeing the world differently. I still have struggles, mind you, but the help I have gotten through the usage of psychedelics is far greater than anything from the SSRIs and mood stabilizers of my past.

All that aside, I'm also a writer, an English student (I minor in history!), and an avid reader of fiction and nonfiction alike. I really enjoy tea all year 'round, and have always felt the most at home in the cold. I'm quite photosensitive and am nearly rendered immobile in the sun, so I stick to the shade and the later seasons. It runs in the family. Someday, when finances permit, I hope to move somewhere brisk and snowy where I can enjoy nature and continue my studies.

I don't want to ramble, so I'll keep it short. I'm new to this sort of thing, especially compared to some of the people on this site, so I'm looking forward to expanding my knowledge and learning new things from all of you.

Have a wonderful day!

Hello. I hope u will share some DMT or psilocybin experience.

Welcome friend, this is a place where one can learn alot about many different things. Its been a while since I've posted but its great to be back. PEACE AND LOVE>>

Hello Pharaoh,

Welcome to the Nexus. Thank you so much for sharing your introduction essay with us. I felt touched by reading your story.

I am so sorry about the PTSD. For all the love, joy and beauty to be found, it really can be a harsh and mean world we find ourselves in. I would hug you if I could. I am familiar with the territory and am working on slowly developing a relationship with a woman who has been to hell and back and who's case has actually made the news, .

I wonder if your bi-polar disorder is organic or an offshoot - almost a coping mechanism from the core issue of the PTSD. Pure speculation on the part of one who knows nothing, I admit, but any time I hear about an issue concurrant with something like PTSD I tend to wonder these things.

I too am photosensitive/nearly phobic, LOL. I made the mistake of going out with my brother and nephew one day in July and wound up with a 2nd degree blistered sunburn and permanently damaged and mottled skin for my trouble, . Oh well, for the children, right!?

I applaud you for embracing meditation. So much peace and healing can be found within these practices as far as I can determine from my own experiences and speaking with others, that I almost always recommend it to folks. I know it helps me a lot at times.

I would encourage you to proceed slowly with entheogens in general and DMT in particular. I get that you are on a path of self-healing. It's just that these medicines are so powerful and beg for significant integration times, yet also deal up a lot of euphoria, I think sometimes it is easy for those of us attempting to self-heal to at times do more harm than good for ourselves.

Rather than straight on DMT itself, I would like to encourage you to explore ayahuasca without a DMT component. In other words, a nice MAOI brew once in awhile. As long as you are not on any prescription meds of course. . . . .I personally found non-DMT aya brews to be incredibly helpful for digestive issues and very healing psychologically. Nothing like the day after an aya session, that is for sure. It is like being reborn. It feels so fresh and awake and alive and wonderful.

I am glad you are a writer. Though it hasn't done me any good in this life, I also fancy myself something of a writer. Nice to have folks that embrace the written word and are not afraid to take a little space to try to describe something as accurately as possible. Also, nice to have folks who can turn an experience or vision into a clever turn of phrase, .

Well, Pharoah, I hope to see you around this place. Your intro makes you sound like a fine addition to this ever growing community of ours.

Warm Regards,
Pandora