Dear Nexus, dear dear Nexus, thank you contributors for the guidance and thank you participants for community.
I'm a long time infrequent lurker on the forum, interested in DMT but never had an opportunity to try or expert to guide until 6 mo ago brought a tiny whitish gram in to my life. A friend and I smoked a bit on herb and tho sub-breakthrough I knew this was something I should pursue further.
Also this last year, have found an amazing traveling Santo Daime ceremony. I have had a long relationship with psilocybin as well but not recently.
Spent weeks refreshing myself with the information on this site and then procured and have executed 2 STB extractions of MHRB, with a wash and filter in there. I've smoked a bit of it, shared most of it, but have not broken through via that route even with this fancy GVG.
Taking enough Syrian Rue to feel MAOI'ish (like a stuffy pressurized head for me) and ingested about 200mg sent me expediently through the veil for about 15 minutes. I felt as though my spirit had been launched and arrived in a sort of circle of light beings, of which I was one too, and my body was attached somehow very distantly and I was aware of both experiences simultaneously. Because so much time had passed since ingestion, my co-voyager and I had given up on receiving an experience just moments before, which I believe (the giving up expectation) helped to liberate myself from ego.
Mind blowing but very brief. I felt I chose to come back, prematurely, in my confusion and excitement.
Yesterday was time to go again. This time I doubled everything. 2.5 hours of revelation proceeded and I'm not ready to box it in with definition but layers upon layers of depth in our reality was ripped apart before my internal witness and I felt divine merging with what may have been source, it felt like all of us and all things. I laughed and embodied Buddha for some moments, I crawled around blankets and marveled at our silly bodies, eyes rolling back in ineffable euphoria, and so many things I can't voice.
There is more work to do. I feel like I take the lessons of my last visit forward in my life and in to the next experience.
Thank you all. Thank the nexus.