Second try, 20 mg this time. I had a bit of a tiresome day with minor annoyances, that I got a bit too irritated about. At first I wanted to cancel tonight's session because of this, but I got more relaxed later in the evening and put most of it behind me. Unfortunately it was just one of those days and so no real breakthrough.
But still interesting.
I still need to work on my smoking technique. Its easy to intake too dense smoke in the first try, then your lungs get irritated, preventing deep inhalation. Took me at least 4 x 3 inhalations to work my way through 20mg. At low doses it seems there are two distinct modes. The first is when it just hits and its like looking through your eyes, but with your eyes closed. The geometric patterns mostly. Second mode is more dream like, like looking at a screen at some distance away, details are not picture clear. Anyone recognize this?
Only with the last few inhalations things were intense and some sort of messaging seemed to come through, some of which I already have forgotten. A female voice/energy, again familiar from somewhere. She sounded sweet/caring and informed this wasnt going to work today (not a big shocker lol), but that we would soon work on the issues I brought forth. Its a bit of a strange thing, but English isn't my native language; however when doing psychedelics, the difference between my own thoughts and that of another 'entity' is that I hear the latter in English often. Strange since I dont dream in English for example. Someone said to me that this happens to a lot of people, sounds familiar to anyone?
The geometrics were pretty intense this time, unfolding, matrix like, very lifelike, strange symbols. At one point I saw this abstract figure with all kinds of folding/spinning energy fields around it, a bit like some of the
typical pictures you see. I got the impression it was me, though I cannot say much more about (good or bad).
Some sort of diaglogue was beginning to start with a stern souding male voice. I only remember this vaguely, sometimes it seems certain parts are edited out in your memory. It was a discussion about me wanting to see the real me, the one without a name. There were questions and I felt like I was being tested, like I had been tested before (another edited memory). A locked door again. There was some conclusion, but again no memory, edited out.
It then started to descent into a sort of hyperspace journey, but more and more in the second mode I described earlier, like you're seeing it in a dreamlike way. It also feels like you have some control over it at this part. Like a very lifelike fantasy.
I shot up in a very clear dimension, with pastel like colors, purple, white etc. Going ever higher and higher, layer after layer, going from the light up into space like extensions, only break through another layer and end up in some heaven like dimension. This went on for some while and reminded me very much of the thrill and positivity you get from flying in a lucid dream.
Suddenly two archetypal snakes appeared, curled up into each other, infinity. They said I should not just visit the light side, the dark also has something to say. I was cast down in total blackness and void. But it wasn't as scary as I thought. The lesson being that total light and darkness are infinite and actually closer together than you think. A bit stereotypical I know lol. After this, the spice was wearing off.