It's been over a year since my last mushie trip, which I described here. The last trip I had was so bad that I hadn't felt comfortable trying them until now. So I finally tried again, and this trip was not like any other one I've had before. It wasn't scary and it wasn't one of those goofy non-stop laugh sessions. It was deep and cathartic.

So unlike last time, I was feeling good and safe and my boyfriend was happily sitting for me while I tripped. I had been experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety from work and other things over the past few weeks, so he made sure he was there just in case my journey started going south.

I had a fresh mushroom/fanta cocktail, and 30 minutes later my whole body felt tingly. It was strange... almost like a light version of MDMA or something. And then I closed my eyes for I don't know how long, and I started going thru these tunnels. Some were actually quite scary looking, but I still felt the safety of bf's presence. And every time blinked hard (with eyes closed the whole time) the tunnels would change and I went through a few nice and pleasant ones. Then I got so relaxed that I started having lucid dreams. It was awesome! It was the most relaxed I've felt in so long. The past week or so I've been lucid dreaming in the mornings... I have no idea why or how, but it's almost like my mind was preparing for this trip.

Then I woke up and starting looking up at the clouds which were doing these crazy things that I can't really describe. But just picture... August is kite season in Bali and there were tons of huge kites in the sky, big fluffy white clouds, and an occasional airplane flyby. Whoa... so cool.

During all of this, I was feeling like there was something in my belly... it's like that feeling when you take the mushies and you almost feel a bit sick but it usually passes... kind of like that, but I almost felt like there was something there. And it was there for the whole trip. At one point, while I was having a conversation with my bf, I said, "I don't feel good." It was like I was gonna puke. And then we kept talking, and I broke down and cried. It was therapeutic... I was able to talk about stuff that I had no idea was even bothering me... all the stress and anxiety I'd been having lately, it came out all at once, like puking up emotions instead of actual puke. And somehow it all made sense where it hadn't before. He said to me one thing that really resonated: "Most of your stress and anxiety would be solved by changing the way you see yourself." It was like an ah-ha moment, and I finally "got it." If anyone had told me that before, it wouldn't have made sense, and I probably would have just brushed it off. But I actually got it, and it was like I had found the key to happiness (or one of them)!

After that ah-ha moment, that weird feeling in my belly was gone completely, and I was still lightly tripping and coming out of the journey. It felt really great. Before this time, I had only had those crazy funny journeys and then that big awful one last year. But this one was so completely different than any one of those.

I'm really curious to see what the mushies have to show me next time...

I love the mushrooms. I love how it brings about this anxiety-inducing belly ache. It's almost like an emotional knot is revealed in the body and it is very uncomfortable when it is revealed but upon release it is one of the most relieving feelings in the world. It's like we can finally release the baggage we have been carrying and probably obsessing about for most of our lives. Knowing that mushrooms can bring this about is such a blessing on the soul. I have been very comfortable with mushrooms ever since I accepted these feelings can be brought to surface. And even during this uncomfortable period I could still fully appreciate every moment of it at times. I hope the same happens to you. And hopefully you will never have to feel uncomfortable on mushrooms again.