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just smiling to myself while I type. Options
 
Clockwork Maggot
#1 Posted : 8/16/2014 6:38:16 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 55
Joined: 16-Aug-2014
Last visit: 25-Sep-2014
Hey folks, so I've been looking things up through this site and others like it, reading, researching and decided I needed people to share things with. Been on a few rides recently and nobody I know would get it. This site has been a great resource for me, so big thanks for all contributions I've managed to get something out of. Time to join the club.Smile

dmt has been a gradual exploration for me so far and I'm pretty new to it, but the build up in intensity has been enjoyable and eye opening. Moments of self reflection coupled with "omg" moments, notions from beyond myself and within myself as one and at the same time for me to consider... reaching a pinnacle, so far, of infinite awareness with a central message I brought back with me. The infinity of it was all too brief, but a window it was of what I'm sure is more to come. There I was... something connected to everything, seeing myself as a rigid framework of existence made from pure will. I don't mean will that is pure in a prim or proper sense, but rather created by nothing but will.

I'm not even sure how many rides I've sent myself on now, only a handful, but each one has given me something different. Ideas, questions, answers and a sense of gratitude I think I've lacked lately.

Since my ascent to Mars has been gradual I'm still not sure I've had the proverbial breakthrough, if not it's been very close. One thing I did get from it was the realisation that I can't take anyone else's experience or description, such as T McKenna's, to gauge my own flight. So during my last ride I told myself to have no expectation and I think that did the trick. It cut away any confusion at least... perhaps, I'm not sure.

The first question I remember is "what have you done to yourself <insert name>?

A deeper journey offered "we want you to come with us <insert name>"!

and later on "clean your shit up, then come talk to us"!

If I may address Earthwalker, if he reads this. I couldn't reply to your recent thread since I'm noob, but I would have replied thus.
They knew I wanted a breakthrough, and at some point I was given "chasing a breakthrough is like chasing an orgasm".
After the down I kinda thought, yeah, Ya know, the more effort you put into pursuing it the more elusive it becomes and the more exhaustive the process is. It's like the dmt was telling me to relax, it'll happen when it's ready. I'm sure you've had plenty of breakthroughs though, but it's something it seems we're all chasing. Love your tek btw.

Thanks again, to all, for the wealth of info. I look forward to hanging around a bit more. peace.
Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: "The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you", he said. "They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth."
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
endlessness
#2 Posted : 8/20/2014 2:04:12 PM

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Posts: 14191
Joined: 19-Feb-2008
Last visit: 06-Feb-2025
Location: Jungle
Welcome to the Nexus!

A smile sounds good.. Sometimes it comes with laughter and tears together Very happy

You mention the whole experience being too quick at times. Did you ever consider doing it orally? I often ask people this because for me personally, I`ve found that for me oral dmt/ayahuasca lends itself much better for a slower introspective trip, allowing for a better integration and thus being more appropriate for personal development. IMO taking these substances orally also more often tends to result in a feeling of cleansing/healing, though that may happen at times with vaporized DMT too.

Appart from taking DMT orally, other ways that have worked for me with helping slowing down, remembering and integrating the trip is to take just harmalas orally or sublingually before, then smoke DMT, or smoke DMT on top of a mild mushroom trip.

What`s your method of smoking btw?

Be well!
 
Clockwork Maggot
#3 Posted : 8/20/2014 3:25:35 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 55
Joined: 16-Aug-2014
Last visit: 25-Sep-2014
Hello Endlessness, thankyou.

I have had a go at aya brew with acrb as an analogue but despite trying to remove as much gunk as possible with 2 egg whites I didn't manage to hold it down. I wonder if I had let the egg break up more before it solidified it might have done more work.

I found it quite dry and bitter, made with lime juice, and sipped less than half before seeing it again so got nothing out of it. My situation is such, at the moment, that I can't really devote any time to a full blown ride of a few hours like that. Someone might call me a doctor... and I don't even have a medical degree. badum tss.

I will give it another go and try cleaning it up further. I have some rue, first time I just ate them but it gave me headache... I later brewed it similarly to the acrb but from tea I felt no effects and brought the acrb brew up anyway. Sure looks like rue though.

Instead, I'm stealing half an hour in the dead of night like a guilty junkie to have a few tokes in private lol.

Yes the cleansing and healing is what I'm looking for tbh, which is why my first effort was with a brew, but smoking* has certainly given something of value and something to work on.

So far, I'm afraid, I've been doing the bottle and foil... and probably wasted more than used properly but so far any loss has been worth the gain. I'll have to sort something else out though. I'll do some more reading on harmalas and see what I can change or try. thanks for those tips, I'll come back to those.Thumbs up
Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: "The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you", he said. "They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth."
 
 
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