Hello everyone i have had an account on the nexus for awhile but i have used it mostly for lurking around. Well i feel like its time to come out of my shell on all fronts, so i guess the best way to do that on hear is to tell a short story.

I have always been a quiet and rather self conscious person and i really never could figure out why. Throughout my years at school i was always quiet and nervous. The only time i ever started to come out and socialize was when i started doing some illegal things. I made a lot of illegal money for about 2 years and over that course of time i definitely changed a little bit. Im not sure if i changed for the better or worse but seeing my own personal success definitely boosted my self confidence and helped me socialize, at least a little bit.

Fast Forward a little later and i was still making money and i was doing great but i am definitely not cut out for the stress. At this point i have been robbed 2 times and pistol whipped in the face, but i still kept going on because i really didn't know what else to do and i feel like i was almost addicted to the lifestyle itself. I never needed the money at all but looking at it gave me pleasure for a reason i could not figure out.

Now recently i have been messing around with quite a few psychedelics (LSD, mushies, 2cb, MDMA, MDA, ketamine and DMT that i was too afraid to touch for months), But until recently i have really only learned small things about my self. I had always loved exploring my mind on psychedelics but i never had a real breakthrough, i guess you would call it.

My perception really started to changed during a psy trance festival. My friends and I had some great bonding experiences but i think the time i spent away from my friends is where i really learned. One of the most memorable nights was when i was alone stumbling around on K and I almost fell into a girl walking by her self. I dont remember exactly how but we ended up hanging out and having a really fun night. That showed me that it was ok to break out of my comfort zone. The next night i ate 600 ugs of lsd and during the come up i met people that were from my area half way across the country. While tripping with these almost complete strangers i realized i felt funny, like nothing i have ever felt from LSD before. I realized that what i felt was a invisible but unbreakable connection to people and their connection back. This really made me think about how my lack of sociability has really closed many doors for me and prevented me from doing what i really wanted to to do.

When i finally came down from that trip i definitely felt different. The whole drive home i really tried to remember what happened during my trip the night before and the significance of what i felt. Once i got home i knew it was time for some changes. I now try to communicate properly with everyone even if im not close to them and i definitely feel more social. I have also realized all the little things that had a negative impact in my such as illegal activities, porn,soda,fast food, ETC. After my experience I have completely quit dealing, watching porn, and drinking soda or eating shitty.
Thank you anyone who made it this far and best of luck to everyone
Edit: took out stuff that was against the rules

I thought I should say hi, by the tone of your post,I think writing it was out of your comfort zone ,which takes courage ,good on ya , there is wisdom and maturity to be had here --

Hey!

Sounds great! You really archived something for you.

Move on within this flow and things will feel better and better...and better.

Much love and all the best

Welcome man.

I'm glad to hear you've made plenty of positive progress in your life. I feel I may be where you were at a year or two ago and wish to work my way to where you are at now.

Welcome to the Nexus

There are other members here who went to the recent Rootwire as well!

You're in familiar company.

Good read man, having psychedelic experiences outside of your comfort zone are a really great way to open up in my experience. And I totally feel you on the solo aspect of the trip as well. Sometimes you need to be on your own to really get introspective ideas out there.

Thanks a lot for sharing your story pb4l. I thoroughly enjoy hearing about people's benefits from the use of psychedelics, and it sounds like you are a great example of the power these molecules have on our consciousness.

I agree with Wizzsplat, it sounds like you took a step out of your comfort zone to share your writing & I hope you know that the entirety of the community welcomes & humbly appreciates that.

Keep moving forward, baby steps is all it takes to move forward. You sound like you're headed on to great things, keep it up buddy.

And a big welcome, we're glad to have ya!

Thanks a lot for a great read and welcome to the nexus. ...

Its been so long since I went to any electronic music event and reading this makes me want to revisit my past with shows.

Anyways, truly good read and the type of story that gives me inspiration to continue on this path.

Hope you find everything your looking for from a community here.

I'm so happy to hear that the festival changed you for the better.! I went to my first one (also a psytrancr one) in WV a few weeks ago and since I got home my spirits and artistic inspiration are at an all time high! There's a reason these are called "transformational festivals" love and light to you!

Wow, thank you for all the positive vibes. Your all are amazing.

Great writeup pb4l. I'm at least a little bit in the same boat. I've never been an overly social person. Always somewhat self-conscious, never wanting to attract too much attention to myself. Over the years of being in and out of the local rave scene and the associated psychedelic/etc scenes I started to loosen up a bit. For me the biggest changes have occurred over the last couple years when I really started to take my psychedelic usage seriously. This means higher doses, by myself, pushing the envelope of my own comfort zone when alone. Psychedelics are making me more and more comfortable with myself by letting the self-consciousness dissolve. It's a wonderful feeling. I'm the same way as yourself with what I'm in-taking food and media wise.

Looking forward to future trip reports as we seem to be on similar psychedelic journeys.