I understand people like trip reports. I haven't had many trips for a while so here's a report from the past.
I was in my first year at university in the UK and had met this bloke, Robert, who was a copper top, a little geeky, studying classics and into acid jazz. He had this weird laugh where his eyes bulged forward as he stuck his tongue out. Anyhow he had fallen for this friend of a friend called Cressida and for some reason thought I could give good advice on how to win her heart. He never did.
One night, both at a loose end, we headed to my flat to take a couple of Bart Simpson blots I had in my fridge. The Barts were a disappointing batch, very weak, and nothing compared to the Oms, Strawberries and Green Dragons that had been going around. Its all we had available. So we cracked open a can of coke, slipped the blots under our tongue and swigged it all down with that sweet cola nectar. I love coke. That sweet fizzy yumminess swilling around my teeth. I like to savor the flavor and the tingling bubbles bursting on my tongue. All that lovely sugar.
So we sat around smoking joints and listening to his jazzy mix tape, which I kind of liked but this was a time when acid techno and rave music was the new rock n roll; so I was loath to admit it. It was all Orbital, 808 State and the KLF for me. After an hour or so, we wondered whether we were tripping. I didn't really think I was, nor did he. We discussed it a little. Tried to see if we had any visual effects. etc. After another hour or so, we concluded that we wouldn't have been discussing whether or not we were tripping for so long unless we were in fact tripping really hard. And boom... it was suddenly very obvious.
It started as a little tickle. Not the trip, that was soaring towards its peak in a way the Barts just never had. No, it was a little niggle, a barely perceptible itch deep down in root of one of my lower left molars. My tongue started prodding the tooth in question. It wouldn't leave it alone. Pushing and prodding, exploring the tiny little cavity that it just discovered. I lost the ability to speak because my tongue developed a life of its own snaking its way around my mouth turning over and over and over. I tried to warn Rob of my predicament but no sooner did I try to speak than my serpent tongue would ambush the attempt. All I could manage was a series of faintly obscene sounding slurps as the serpent tried to double back down my throat. 'This is going to be bad', I thought. Rob regarded me quizzically.
And now, that little itch was a more like a pounding throb beating against my skull from the inside of my mouth. Each throbbing pulse caused dizzying flashes of electric blue to explode behind my eyeballs. Oh the pain was astronomical and it had barely begun.
"Tlooof flake slobber slobber" I blurted out to Rob pointing at my aching tooth.
He didn't know what I was on about,
"Slurp Flake Toothing slobber!!!!".
'Are you tripping?' He asked. Oh yes, and then some. "I don't think I am anymore", he said.
"Slurp Slurp uckin Fooff ache slobber!!!"
And here came the peak. I couldn't tell where on my face my mouth now was. It felt like it was by my right ear, but then my ear felt like it was in the middle of my forehead. And it was anyone's guess where that had ended up. I was all broken down and jumbled up. I was like a Picasso portrait but painted in pain. I had no idea anymore whether my serpent tongue was inside or outside my mouth. It felt like it was writhing around somewhere near my neck. Christ, I hope I wasn't slapping Rob around with it.
I was Satan's bitch. Thats what it was. I was being punished by the Acid God for disrespecting the Bart Simpson Sacrament he had passed my way. He had summoned Satan to stamp on my face whilst stabbing me in the gum. Yep thats what was going on. As my ego melted away the boundaries between me and the rest of the environment evaporated and undulating tsunamis of agony rushed out of my mouth to swallow up the real world. The room heaved in black and heavy misery and time dilated all the way out so that tiny moments of intense pain dragged on and on for hours.
Rob realized eventually what was going on and went to get some codeine-paracetamol from the first aid kit I had. You have never known the feeling of relief that swept over me as the pain began to vanish. He took me outside to the local park and we sat on around and watched the dawn come up....
All the best.