Dear people,
This is my first post, it feels a bit 'official' to be required to write something about myself but I like the atmosphere and respect people have for each other on this forum.
I'm from the Netherlands, 36 years living here.
Throughout my life I have had always a feeling of missing something, or being disconnected from something.
That has led me to different interests which I not always continued for a very long time.
Sometimes I think about myself as going where the wind blows, not literally because I have my house, family, and a family company where my both parents still work in too, but more in beliefs and ideas.
I was raised quite strict, christian, church going, something which I now cannot imagine to return to.
A few years ago I came in contact with Ayahuasca and did two weekends, one year apart.
The last session the Ayahuasca didn't work for me because I faced my deep most problem which I still face every week or so, the urge to change something in my life, the longing for a different something, the dream of heaven, unification with the whole, and more vague feelings, which can make me feel bad, slightly depressed for a short time.
So last years I gently want to be able to enjoy this only moment, which sometimes works, and when it works, it doesn't matter what I see or do, the only thing that happens is that a big smile comes on my face and I feel perfect.
Then I learned about Iboga and the ability to help in solving addiction problems.
So I joined one time with the intention to get rid of my 'addiction' to always want something 'new' and 'different'
After a long night and just after I refused the last consumption (but anyway took it), I could clearly see the answer on another private question i had.
Of course, by knowing Aya, DMT was not far away, and a few weeks ago I started in buying some parts to be able to extract it.
The reason behind is that the Aya weekends are relatively far away and take a full weekend of time, the result is that it never comes to that. Now with DMT, I hope to be able to work more frequently.
At the moment I'm still working my first extraction, 4th pull and I'm happy that it works out well.
I've tried two times smoking, the experience was far away that of Aya, but I know my smoking device is not ok, so I'm waiting patiently a few weeks till I'll be able to buy a good one.
So I hope this forum will become my second home, and that it will be a base of further exploring and knowing myself better so that I can be better for other people too.
Love to all..

Welcome to the forum!

Fundamentalist calvinism is no fun, especially when they teach to hate yourself and your life in reward for a speculative afterlife. Meanwhile, even their own books write that "the kingdom of heaven is here and now". Very twisted.

With such a background, maybe what you are missing most is the contact with yourself, your body and your feelings. You have it all in you. Realizing this is the key to unification, I think.

Be careful in taking epic doses of ayahuasca on your own. If you know good people who can "sit" your trip, that is very valuable.

Alternatively, look into changa perhaps. It is a smoking mix containing the same ingredients as ayahuasca. It can be used more meditatively than pure DMT.

Yes, I only did ayahuasca twice in a group setting, which is much better quality I think because the time is longer (2 days), you have people who can help you, comfort you, arrange music and so on, so you can let go completely.

Indeed, it took years and years to get rid of the fundamentalistic crazy imprinted ideas and behavior which you undergo as a kid, but time and good books can heal a lot.

Yes, the moment I read about changa experiences here I knew I have to try it but for now I start with pure DMT first to get more familiar with extraction, vaporizing etc. because I never have smoked before so I want to practice first.

Welcome!

Don't underestimate the importance of the harmalas, whether it's like Changa (vaped), or a tea (oral), or an extract taken sublingually.
You just get much more out of your DMT when combining it with harmalas: it's much longer, you need less, it's more fluent, more... loving?

Good luck!

Harmala is something I need to add to my changa mix, I have read so many positive reports that its the only way to fly.

Maybe not the only way, but it often helps!

My previous post was the 666th, so don't take it too literally

hahaha, thanks for the info. Definitely a lot of room for experimenting. I was looking for a new hobby, but I think I found one already

LOL, I'm dying right now