Hi folks, you all can call me Kenshi.
I used to have another account on here but alas, my love of privacy has grown and I was not too wise in protecting it during my past visits so here I am, introducing myself again.
Please when you read this keep in mind that this is the 5th time over the past few days I've typed something similar. I am really reluctant to share this. I'm hoping that you kind folks here @ the Nexus have an open enough mind to not just blow me off as a nutball.
Here's a little about me:
Roughly 30 year old male.
I'm not married but I might as well be and we have a beautiful baby girl together.
General Computer Geek/TRUE hacker.
I'm starting my own IT business, which of course I will not share the name of, and it's going well.
Life is great but I still feel lost ...
I had a lot written here but I then realized 99% of you would have gotten too bored to finish it. Let me summarize:
I feel like DMT is more than just a drug. I've had a lot of experiences in my life dealing with what some might call the "paranormal". I have ALWAYS questioned myself on these incidents. If it were not for other people experiencing the same thing as me on multiple occasions, I would think I'm crazy.
Rather than the long post I had, I'll settle on two of the more important events.
This girl I'm with... I'm not sure why but I knew we'd be together forever the first time I met here. I always get "vibes" from people. I'm not sure how else to explain them but I usually just go with them. So, I moved in with her (drum-roll) 1 week after meeting her
. A great decision but that's beside the point.
In her apartment were .. these things. I'm not sure what to call them so I'll just describe them. They were like walking 3d shadows. For the most part, they looked human. They sure as hell didn't feel human though.
I asked my girl about her place and she told me that her and her old roommate would feel or see things in the place. We'd also let my friend move in with us and he kept talking about seeing things so, we were all experiencing the same thing.
These things however I swear had it out for me. They were getting to the point where their presence would be so strong around me that it'd feel like an extreme pressure on my chest. One night there was three of them as I was laying in bed. The "pressure" was so strong I could hardly move. I'm not sure why but I decided taking a blast of DMT would be the thing to do.
It started off as normal and then proceeded to get weird. My arms and hands started doing all sorts of weird movements. After reading around here more, I believe folks were calling them "Kriyas" or alike. The weird thing about it was that I could see the arms of a being stretching from behind me, controlling mine! I looked behind me and there was this grey looking being there (no, not like the "grey" aliens"
. Anyway, after going through what seemed like countless repeated motions, my hands finally stopped in front of me and something strange happened. It was like streaks of heat or energy or something shot out in a 90 degree spread in front of me, right at the 3 shadow-Things and they just sort of disintegrated ...
I have no idea what to make of that experience. Obviously I had consumed a hallucinogen but there's 2 points to make... 1) The next morning, my roommate asked me "what the hell were you doing in there last night ******? I felt this crazy-ass pressure coming from your room." he said it was so strong he didn't want to come knock on my door. 2) There were never any more experiences with these shadowy things in that apartment again.
Conclusion: Who knows?
For a long time, even before that, I've thought that maybe there's more to life than what meets the eyes. I'm not a believer in any "god" from religions but maybe more so that the multi-verse is more aware than we realize and that some of it's sensors (us, animals, etc) may be able to "roam more freely" than others.
My girl & I started getting into a camping kick last summer. We like to go back, smoke a little bud, sip on some wine and relax.
During one trip, I brought up DMT and well, a lot of your other "I'm so high I know everything about life" kind of talks. The thing is, I don't think I know everything but I wholly believe there's more than us and that we're somehow "trapped". Maybe the bhuddists have it right? Maybe aliens put us here? Maybe this is prison? The "WHY" is completely unknown to me and I have never claimed to know. I just stand strongly in the "there's more than this".
Why I'm here:
Well that night we were talking about that and something weird happened.
I saw an old man off in the distance walking towards us.
He then proceeded to hide behind a tree and kind of peek at us.
When I started to stare at him, he continued walking to our camp spot. He was carrying some weird black thing that reminds me of a landscaping rake.
Though we had permission to camp where we were, I wasn't really certain that the person that gave us permission actually owned the land so as soon as the old man came up, I started apologizing for being there.
He said, "Don't worry, that's not why I'm here"
Something weird happened as he approached us also - all of the torches stopped flickering. Everything stopped. It's like time was frozen, except for us.
The old guy walked behind me to stare in a stream for a little bit and here's essentially how the conversation went:
Him: "It's all true"
Me: "What is?"
Him: "Everything, you have to figure it out, no matter what"
Me: "I don't think she'll understand though"
Him: "Help her"
Me: "Who are you?"
That's a cut down version. As it's been over a year, I cannot remember the exact word-for-word.
At this point, the old man seemed to have disappeared into nothing suddenly, so I asked my girlfriend, "Where did the old guy go?" She answered "What old guy". I said "the one I was just talking to for 5 minutes" She said "You just stopped in the middle of your answer and asked me where the old guy went?"
In retrospect, she was frozen in time just as everything else was.
Now, about the conversation. There's a part where we were talking about specifically what I had to do. before the "I don't think she'll understand though". This part, I cannot remember but oddly I can remember him telling me that I'd have a hard time remembering it. Weird right.
The next morning, remembering that we were drinking and smoking the night before, I wondered if maybe I was imagining things so I figured I'd walk the path the old man did.
Where he appeared was a perfect circle in the ground. The weeds were all laid down perfectly. The only path from the circle was the one he walked to us. This path was laid down normally, as though someone walked it.
Now, I cut down our conversation intentionally.
I feel weird sharing it here because for me to claim someone appeared out of nowhere and froze time is well, pretty damned far-fetched.
If I feel some folks actually believe me, I'll share more.
The thing is, I know I'm not crazy.
For the past year I have had a hard time remembering every detail of that event. Like my mind was in shock or something.
The other morning though, me & my girl started talking about monks and other things and then it suddenly hit me. A feeling oh-so-similar to DMT but so indescribable. So many intense emotions ran through me and I broke down and started crying like a crazy person. I'm not sure what happened that morning but something clicked and 90% of my memory of that night returned in a flash.
The memory is disturbing and enlightening at the same time.
I'm still not sure what to do with it but, I KNOW DMT IS THE KEY TO FIGURING IT OUT.
Everything has been oddly calm since that morning. I usually have a racing mind, always stressing but it's like I feel enlightened, even though I'm far from all-knowing. That's just the best way to describe it.
I'm hoping someone on here has had similar experiences or at least believes me enough to help me figure this out.
I have this drive now like, I NEED to figure this out. Why, assuming it was real, did this old man appear to me? Why was he so strongly insistent that I follow through with "figuring it out".
To summarize though: I need to figure it out, and I need to share. For the longest time I've done nothing but wish I could help humanity. I'm not sure how yet but I feel like there's something on the horizon that may aid me in doing so.
Can anyone relate to any of this?
Please, if you think I'm nuts, keep it to yourself.
These two experiences are just 2 of many throughout my life.
I thought I was nuts. Even after people sharing experiences with me, or there being physical proof, I still always think I'm nuts.
I almost don't want to believe this guy was real but no matter what I tell myself, he was.
Now I have to figure out why he appeared.
So here's my introduction ...
Take it either as:
"Hi, I'm Kenshi, I'm crazy"
OR
"Hi, I'm Kenshi, I've seen some amazing things, let's figure out what's going on!"
That's up to you.