It was hard work, a year long program, 6 overdoses (two of which I was literally dead for 2 minutes), and lots of talking that got me to this point. I wouldn't say it helped to fill the
void, as I have been working on getting rid of that void inside of me. Using it to fill the void would just be like replacing heroin with DMT, or the one I am seeing a lot of these days
replacing heroin with ketamine. The spice definitely reaffirms that living life on a chemical all day every day is a waste of a life, I had a breakthrough and everything just kind of lined
up into this picture of the type of creature I was when I was addicted to heroin. As sad and depressing it was to see me in that state, I came back from it laughing my ass off because of
the gross hilarity of the situation I had put myself in. I think the most I have gotten out of spice in regards to my addiction is that the awful dreams about needles and dope have all but
disappeared. And I have to say I believe it to be the spice that took those dreams away from me, as throughout the years when I was clean I would always have the dreams, no matter how long
I had been clean or how long I went without cravings. There is a thing called PAWS that comes with heroin addiction (that is Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and it basically means that you
can get cold sweat, hot chills, actual withdrawal symptoms 1-2 years after the last time you used. Totally gone now that I've been doing changa/dmt sessions. If there is one thing that
everyone should get out of what I am saying, is that breaking free of addictions is HARD work, and spice can be a good tool, but it's not the end-all-be-all of cleaning yourself up (that
would be iboga
) J/K Although I would love to see how well iboga does with cravings, at this point I wouldn't be breaking any withdrawals/long-lasting after effects. I might
eventually write up about my addiction and everything I went through, but it's a harrowing tale that still gets my stomach jittery to think about.
"You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you."
“Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.”
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”