Hello. My name is illitizen. It is a name I chose for myself some time ago, and I intend to retain it until my death. I have other names, some I gave to myself. A select for others were chosen for me by the individuals who were present in my time here on this Earth, Terra.

There are, of course, the three names provided at the time of my first Breath. The inherited, the surname, and the given, two separate individual names combined with the surname to provide the world with the very first three words to define me. Words that I am unable to share here, given the attitude guidelines. However, illitizen is sufficient, and I hope you will accept me at that, as it is all I can give you for the purpose of this essay.

At the time of my writing this for you, I have spent roughly two decades on this Earth. My age is currently 19 years and 6 months, but I have been a living organism for just over twenty years, two decades, given my time within the womb of my mother.

The oldest memories I have are only 16 or 17 years in age. Why my memory, and the memory of many other individuals I know does not reach before the age of 3 or 4 is, at the time of writing this, unknown to me. Perhaps one of you know of this phenomenon and further, the cause.

Since the beginning of my memories, I have been isolated from the rest of the world. It may be that I have created this isolation myself, as a tool for observation of the cosmos.
This isolation has allowed me to develop my understanding of nature to the degree that I feel as though divinity permeates all things. All of existence is wrapped tightly together, and despite our perceptions, there can be no push without opposite and equal pull. There can be no direction without also existing a polarized direction. Things cannot be unless they are. Which, they are, so cannot, not be. To bring this concept to a head: what holds all things together?

Time.

One cannot exist without having first been nonexistent. Or perhaps it could be better put like this: what happened, happened. What is happening, is and will continue to do so; what must happen, will. Despite what rules, laws, boundaries, labels, definitions, perceptions, misconceptions, or preconceptions man and his successors apply to the nature of things, they will run their course precisely as they are meant to, regardless of our actions.
So! Maybe, just maybe, we should throw away the rulebook and listen to the world. Listen to each other. Listen well, and understand. Do not 'try'. Do, or do not, there is no try. As a wise master once told me in a dream. Listen to what the world asks of you, and decide for yourself, what you truly wish to do with the time and energy you have in this world. Don't let me tell you what to do, though

I actually have an insanely vivid memory from really early on in life. No idea why, but I can remember the entire layout of my first home (even though my parents moved out when i was about 14months) and alot of other things that happened before my 2nd birthday (including my 2nd birthday party itself) I have memories of. I do often wonder why that is...

Welcome, illitizen!

Your choice to ditch your birth name reminds me somewhat of the prolific and fantastic psychedelic jazz musician Sun Ra, who said of his birth name "That's an imaginary person, never existed … Any name that I use other than Ra is a pseudonym."