Hi all!

Just thought I'd post a hello to the nexus.

Tried DMT for the first time last night after a long and storied career working with my colleagues Lucy and Mescalito. Didn't have a breakthrough, but what a rush! I went from sober into deep Lucy headspace in seconds, the visuals were mad, and I felt myself rushing towards what seemed like a blinding light which seemed like a wormhole into everything, but came away at the last second. I guess I came close!

Used 30mg, and a technique I kind of figured out for myself.

Essentially, used a waterfall 500ml bong (my second favourite way to smoke weed). Basic principle is hole in the bottom, fill with water, foil with a mesh gauze at the top, add heat, let the hole go, and the water sucks air in. I modified this for DMT by first warming the DMT so it melted into the gauze, and then added a second layer of foil on top with a single small hole so hot air would rush in from my lighter without torching the stuff.

I'm thinking that for the next attempt, I'll use a larger bottle (perhaps 1ltr, or 1.5) and a larger dose (thinking 50mg). What does the community think?

Also, I'm interested in anyone who has had success in using DMT with a vape pen. I now use vape pens for both nicotine and weed (using BHO in the pen) which has been a great move for both habits. I've been following conversations on the subject on this forum for about a month, but not found anything conclusive. I'd be very interested in hearing from anyone who's managed to perfect the technique, what size of DMT they used to start, what fluid they mixed it with and in what amount, and how many puffs they needed to have a breakthrough.

Thanks!

Oh, and just to put everything in context.

I basically turned to psychedelics a few years ago as a way to cope with depression - something which has crippled me for most of my life.

Essentially, I didn't get off to a great start in life. While I'm lucky to be both a big guy - 6'6, and wouldn't change it for anything - and smart enough to have never been mentally pushed at all at school, this also led to me sticking out like a sore thumb whilst growing up. I endured years of abuse at school, and didn't feel comfortable in my own skin until I was in my twenties when I more fully embraced being a nonconformist.

I also didn't have the greatest of childhood's at home. My mum has suffered from bi-polar for as long as I've been about, leading to her breaking up with my dad fairly early on and me having to live in her chaos throughout my formative years. She also had an ex-SAS boyfriend for a large part of that time, who used to toughen me up by beating the utter shit out of me. While this ultimately would toughen me up and teach me SAS fighting techniques which have turned out to be pretty handy on occasion, it wasn't exactly requested.

I also lost my best friend growing up at 18, another good one a couple of years after, and then another two.

For my late teens and early twenties, I self medicated with alcohol, weed, cocaine, and promiscuous sex. As you may have guessed, this didn't work out so well. Nor did any therapy or anti-depressants I'd been given. This self-destructive circle continued until I met Lucy.

I first met her properly on the break between the second and third year of my studies from university. What followed was a period of good fortune, good times, and a significant boost in my perceived self worth throughout my third year. At the time, this was the single greatest nine month stretch of my life.

Then I graduated. In the middle of the recession.

And as the economy recessed into despair, so did I. My friends from university dispersed, or found themselves in the same trap I was in. Eventually, I ran out of money and luck, and had to return home, just as my mum slipped back into her worst mania yet.

I finally managed to get a job which wasn't too bad, and kept that for a while, all the while consumed by an ever darker cloud. During that time, I realised a few things. One, anti-depression meds don't cure depression, they merely build a mental wall between me and the way I feel. The way I feel was due to two things. First, my situation. Second, my underlying mentality. For the first to be resolved, the second would have to be challenged.

Then I remembered Lucy, and how my life changed, albeit briefly, for the better afterwards. I remember how she made me feel, and how that positivity rolled on to the rest of my life. I began to read into her, 'shrooms (which I'd done a couple of times before at that point, but with no great effect), and mescaline.

Not knowing anyone who could put me back in touch with Lucy, I ended up getting some cactus. As luck would have it, it turned up the day I got made redundant from my job. Feeling my life about to go into freefall once again, I ground up 80g of the stuff, made the two single most disgusting pints of smoothie I've ever tasted, and glugged them down.

There started my revival.

Since that point three years ago, I have effectively banished depression from my life. My career has taken off (I'm a journalist for a tech magazine, and basically get to sit at home most of the day writing about cures for cancer on the horizon with the odd trip to another country). My urge to destroy myself has been sated - I barely drink, smoke, or do any other drugs these days. My womanising has come to an end - and I now have a woman who loves me. My life is better than I ever thought it could ever be.

My keys to success have been three fold. The right attitude. The right mode of transport (I cycle everywhere now). The right drugs.

There have been some amazing trips over the past three years, topping up every 3-6 months, each one shattering my anxieties and hang ups. I even thought I was getting to the point where I'd learned everything I needed to learn. But my latest trip with Lucy had the purest moment of bliss I've ever experienced.

I realised all this time that I'd let the outside world win, and that I hated myself. I then asked why should I hate myself? I couldn't find one reason why - my hate was unfounded. Rather, given the life I've carved out for myself, the positive attitude I share with others, and the direction I'm going in, surely I should love myself? Not in an egotistical manner, but just enjoy the person I am, celebrate that person, and let that person be who he wants to be? I then decided that sounded like a pretty damn good idea, and gave into it. I then wept with joy for the first time in my life - and it's a joy that has stayed with me.

I then later on had a moment where I seemed to melt into the universe later on, and had a sensation that bound my essence with the universe. "I" evaporated for a period of time, and when I came back, I felt reborn.

That's why I'm here now. I feel transformed over the past three years. I've let a fire that's within me - a pure fire, not of rage - take over my life, and burn the old broken me to the ground. I also finally feel connected with something, although not in a religious or spiritual sense - more a metaphysical connection I always knew was there, but never felt, and want to explore that further.

Hey Shang I read your post and I'm really sorry for the hardships you have experienced in the past. Seems as though you have come out alright though lol a good head on your shoulders. I truly hope you find some peace and live happily. I can't say that I am very similar to you apart from suffering from manic depression and struggling with my emotions for many of my formative years. then I went to uni to study arts and found a lot of myself there like many of us do.

Now about the questions you posted, I think that your best bet with the spice is to just go ahead and buy a vapor genie. I did recently and HOLY HELL is it the best thing! I'm getting a lot more out of the spice I've been using (which is year old changa from my shaman) in that thing than I have by any other method. it rocks the world. fork our the cash and get a VG it's SO worth it. trust me.

Happy travels!

hello there, welcome!

It was a joy to read your story, sounds familiar in a way . It sounds like youre a grouded dude, and it seems like you manage to keep a good balance between your life and the spice/lucy/mesca. I figure that that is one of the most important things to keep, the psychedelics are there as a way of enhancing your life, but there needs to be a life to enhance in the first place .

Plus, I love your statement about having the right mode of transport, I fully second that! I too am an avid cyclist and I feel like there is nothing better than to get rid of some excess energy by pedaling somewhere! It definetly helps me to get into a better mood . Did you ever try lucy while biking? As far as trips go, thats a really nice one!

Yeah, I've been thinking about getting the genie. Still, getting it in a vape pen would be a whole new level of awesome, in my opinion. And also, the pens and the waterfalls are what I currently have at my disposal. A friend of mine wants to do DMT, and I said I'd line him up next weekend - perhaps time enough to get the genie ordered, but it'd be easier if I can figure out the pen or waterfall technique in time. Still, even if we just did what I did last night, I'm sure he'll have an awesome time!

And thanks for the note on what I've been through in the past. For me, it's really water under the bridge now - the flip on hating myself being the last piece of the puzzle to truly letting go. Everyone has hardships they encounter though. I believe what makes a person is how they respond to them.

Manic depression is a particularly hard one to cope with. As I said, my mum has it (we call it bi-polar here), and she didn't get it diagnosed until she (ironically) became a mental health nurse, and a friend of mine just got diagnosed when she crashed after what sounds like a year long mania. A fine balancing act is needed indeed - how do you find it reacts with psychedelics?

And thanks, Lamate!

Yeah, psychedelics, I think, act more like a catalyst for change than a cure for anything. You have to want to change before taking them, and take the questions on how to do it with you when you head into the trip. I found that although tripping with other people is fun and I feel great after, solo trips get much more introspective, and this is where I've had the greatest success with my 'mental topiary', as it were. And then, of course, it comes down to you yourself to put what you have learned into action. Heavy lifting is still required

And yes! I had an awesome trip with my sister last year. We took around 300ug of lucy (although I think it might have been more), and sat out on the lawn coming up listening to a couple of hendrix live albums - the closest I'll ever come to seeing him live Once we were stable, we got on the bikes and had a ride around the fields and canal paths around my home town. An incredible experience! Ended up about 8 miles out of town in the countryside when the sun started coming down, and it looked like each pulse of red in the sky then exploded like a nuclear explosion. The most visually stunning and awe inspiring trip I've ever had.

I never had a problem until two years ago when I was in a really dark place after a pretty devastating break up. Used the drugs as an escape rather than what they are truly meant for. since then I'm back on track and haven't had a negative experience for a 6 months. I find if anything using Psilocybin performed as a medicine for my mental health more than anything. of course it's more about how you use it than the chemical itself. "The difference between food and poison is dosage" -can't remember who said it.

Paracelse said it


He said also "i think it's gona rain soon" but nobody cares about this one ^^

Cool - reason I ask is the friend I mentioned would probably respond well to psychs. She has the mind for it. I just don't want her to recover from her current slump, go for a trip, and slump right back. I'm reading into it from various sources to see if it would be viable in the long run. Currently not a good idea, the best I can do right now is to talk to her.

And I've been meaning to do a decent trip with shrooms. So far, I've had four shroom trips. Shrooms were my first trip (taken at a festival, low dose, awesome time). Then, I took them with some friends whilst travelling, also a low dose, but good fun. Then, a couple of years later, my sister spiked me with orange juice that had shrooms fermenting in them. She was going to tell me, but I was, as it happens, calling an ambulance for a kid who had drunk too much. She said after "you were busy, but you looked like you needed a drink". That was fun. And then, in possibly the most Thompson-esque trip I've had, I did 3 grammes at a stag do in Amsterdam. I laughed, a lot. It's the only trip where there are massive blackouts in my memory (probably due to the amount of beer drank), but my memory kicks back in at one point in the red light district. I saw a hooker I liked, and like a moth to a flame, I paid her €50 to talk to her about my trip and her life for half an hour - no sex involved whatsoever. She told me she wished she had clients like me all the time. It was great

I've tried to go picking unsuccessfully a few times. Found some fly argaric, but not what I'm after. Where I am now, they grow everywhere, so hopefully get some in the next season and actually have a mushroom trip with meaning.