Dear friends,

I just realized that my husband has borderline personality disorder. I know psychedelics can be a great tool in dealing with issues of childhood and infant abuse so I know they shuold be able to help heal this BPD.

Does anybody have any testimonies to share on this subject? I am most interested in success stories with as much detail as possible as to how bad the disorder was and how exactly it was handled, what medicines were administered and what else was done in terms of therapy, like herbal supplement, meditation, other forms of therapy. I embrace every genuine method of healing that addresses the problem at the core.

Please share some storeis or please send links or other advice as to where else I can find more information.

Thank you!

Has your husband been diagnosed by a medical professional? If not, seeking professional help sounds like a smart thing to do, before even thinking of giving your husband psychedelics to try to cure him.

You say you are interested in success stories, but I think it would also be wise to look into what can go wrong.

I wish both you and your husband good luck.

I have seen people gain better control over their lives with borderline conditions with the assistance of psychological therapies - there is some evidence for this! - e.g. DBT.

http://www.nice.org.uk/CG78

There are often psychotic like symptoms with borderline states which may be a risk when using psychedelics.

Peace.

Does he realize it too? (notwithstanding validation from competent professionals.)


I hope you also know that psychedelics are not a magical cure, but just a tool. You can use it to fix things, or wreck them even more. If your husband doesn't feel that there is anything to be healed or doesn't want to be healed, the results of applying the tool may not turn out as you expect.

Second all of the above posts, figure out first then act accordingly.

Hope all goes well my thoughts are with you both!

Definitely look into all reports on psychedelics and BPD, good or bad.

You can't just look at the good things that come from communism, you have to look at the good and the bad or you'll end up living in a country similar to the USSR( nobody wants that)
Same applies for drugs and pretty much all decisions. Just my personal opinion

When you say you "realized" your husband has BPD, what exactly do you mean?

Unless you're a trained psychotherapist or psychologist, I would hesitate before heaping diagnosis on someone. A lot of these issues are much more complex than they first appear and unless you're looking at a professional diagnosis (or even better, several independent diagnosis), I wouldn't be so quick to make a judgement.

Blessings
~ND

I'm sorry to hear you are in this difficult situation. Sending a lof of love and strength your way.

My general advice is to check out the information over at the bpdfamily forum. It provided me with a lot of insight and support.

I lived with a girl with BPD a few years ago and could not find conclusive information on the risk/benefit of psychedelics.

- Some of the big names in psychedelic therapy thinks BPD is a contraindication for psychedelics.

- A BPD diagnosed ex of a friend of mine used a lot of psychedelics but the benefit is unclear to me.

- Here on the forum Jox started a thread about curing his husband of BPD by high dose of ayahuasca, however he recently indicated a still abusive relationship in another thread so I find that anecdotal evidence a bit vague.

- Grof claims to have cured schizophrenia (which I personally find related) but it seemd to have been a very painful and very long experience before the subject came out ok.

Please remember that the only one that can fix a persons mental problems in reality is the person himself. Try not to take on the responsibility to fix someone else.

I did a decent amount of Psychedelics with my BPD ex girlfriend.
She went suicidally depressed during a mushroom trip once. I was able to talk her out of it.
Most lsd trips seemed very enjoyable to her. Her 1 time DMT trip didn't seem bad either.


But in the long term it didn't help at all. She has allways been very deeply in denial about her weaknesses.
I don't know if this is typical of BPD, but her denial was so persistant no amount of Psychedalia could make her
see her own sore spots. In time the denial allways crept back in. It allways won.

SKA, are you saying that the denial did go away temporarily, during psychedelic use or shortly afterwards?

Yes. During use. And some fleeting moments just after the experiences.
In fact, the canceling out of her denial during the mushroom trip, was what turned
her suicidally depressed. She saw her true self and did not like it one bit.

Eventually I came to see it too, which was what lead me to break up with her.
She on the other hand, is firmly in denial again. As if she never had those difficult,
but enriching self-realisations at all. If anything, the denial is now back stronger than
ever before.

You should of tried some aya with her. Personally aya always seems the best for psychological problems. Maybe if she can't love her true self try some MDMA. There's always a solution and it's not to give up.

That must have been very difficult.

Is it even possible to truly improve one's true self? I think this should be done not simply by taking more or different types of drugs, but also by intensive therapy.

She was doing therapy too. Group therapy.
But none of that, nor the psychedelic experiences seemed to challenge her iron denial.

BTW with "her true self" I mean the person that she was and had been as my lover and lifepartner, as opposed to the euphemistic, highly distorted, even megalomanic image that
she had of herself as an excellent lover & lifepartner.

She was a hypocritical, suffocating & disloyal lover and a material & psychological parasite.
Whenever she saw that she would dive into a deep depressive state that blocked her from looking at this as a problem to be solved. Instead she wallowed in self-pity, untill eventually denial set in again and she was in a state of mania again. Up and down up and down... Allthough she stayed up there 9/10th of the time, whenever she fell, she fell so deep.

The therapy, the psychedelic experiences... no match for the beast that is her ego.

I was diagnosed with BPD a year ago after a shocking decade of self loathing and irrational behaviour. The diagnosis was a God send for me and I embraced therapy wholeheartedly. The best thing for me was learning the symptoms and being open about it. If I get overwrought I can tell myself that I'm having a Borderline moment. If I am in conversation and getting overly stressed out I can tell the person I'm talking to that BPD is taking hold and ask to put the conversation aside while I go talk myself through it. This can take minutes or days depending on the conversation. Gratitude for the person who is patiently waiting for me to rejoin the conversation is paramount.

I've learned that it's very easy for BPD people to overcompensate and become very codependent in trying to counter their symptoms and that balancing all of this isn't easy!

I have covered my confusion at life and people in the past with anger. About 11 years ago I learned through reading and teachers in life that my response to situations is my issue and how I respond is my choice and my power. That was life changing but also difficult!

DMT (I've done it once and not a heroic dose, I used it more as a medicine), was amazing for me. I set the intention to connect with my heart more before I smoked it and boy did I! My lover/guide kicked me to the curb just days later for reasons that I still can't fathom. Normally my reaction would have been anger and bitterness but I just cried. I've never felt such sadness and grief. It's been about 6 weeks and I'm STILL crying! It feels like a lifetime of sadness is coming out of me. But there's no anger at all which is weird! I kind of feel alone without it. I know how to deal with anger, but this whole sadness thing is new.

I am very hesitant to do the heroic dose. But that doesn't mean I won't. First before I do DMT again I need to find another sitter who I trusted as much as I trusted that man and that's not easy. I won't do it alone because even with a low dose I did go into panic a little and needed reassurance that he was still there beside me. That might make me a wimp, but people need to realise that BPD feel things much more deeply than others. Brain scans that show different areas lighting up have shown this. What a regular person might find a little uneasy making could terrify us. And what might make a regular person grin a little may have us in fits!

So the BPD and DMT thing, I'd go for it if he's un-medicated, if he's understanding his symptoms, if he's able to take responsibility for his actions, if he understands that his reactions are bigger than most other people's, if he's self aware, and if he's ready. I was so ready. My sitter coached me for months beforehand.

My daughter recently stayed with some friends of hers and their parents for a few days and the mother was also diagnosed with BPD. My daughter said she's completely not aware of what she does to her family and it was an eye opener for her into how much effort I make to stay even keeled as much as I do.

I hope this helps!