I've been thinking about this all my adult life so I'd thought I'd share my experience

So here I am I'm a male aged early 40s currently I've 3 brothers one sister I'm the youngest in my family , i am experienced in

the drug scene I once was on the junk for a number of years and have beat it's cold grasp ! I have two brothers on the methadone

program also the other is a alcoholic and my sister she's a gambler , I don't no why this destruction called addiction is in my

family ! I sometimes think it's due to PTSD as when we were all kids ages ranged between 8 - 14 yo our sister aged 17 and her

unborn child was killed but a drunk driver and we never spoke of this ever as a family unit it Was just as if she walked out the

door and never returned home , even mum would look out for any car stopping out the front or someone walking up or driveway

hoping for our beloved Debbie to just walk in but it never was to come true , it wasn't till I meet my wife that I learnt to speak my

sisters name without breaking down in fits of crying to the point of hyperventilating , I'm so lucky to have a missus of pure beauty ,

So this brings me to this thought or theory that experiencing great loss or anything that cause PTSD do you think it has a hand ,

in addiction and does anyone else have this problem or no of any other similar circumstances ????

I think all "disorders" of that type are total BS. It's only real if the person believes it. They have been told that they should not feel good when bad things happen, that they should be sad, that they should mourn. All of the "shoulds" mold people's minds into thinking that they "should" feel a certain way. Power of suggestion, I believe. You are told all these things from people you care about, people on TV, the schools, your friends. We are a terribly misinformed race.

I ask, "what good does it to do dwell on the past?" "why?" "How is it helping your future and/or present?"



People claim that disorders are actually a chemical imbalance. The only truth to that that I can find is that we release and produce different neurotransmitters as a biological response to a learned stimuli. We are TOLD to feel a certain way during certain situations.

Example
We are told that stealing is bad. One who believes stealing is bad will likely feel guilt if he or she steals. That self created feeling of guilt, based on a learned condition, releases cortisol - a stress hormone. Cortisol, in excess, can have a negative impact on the body and lead to other "imbalances". This is good, for the most part. It encourages people not to steal. The problem is when people associate guilt with things that are out of their control - like death. We cannot control things like that.



IMO, the best think than anyone can do is forgive themselves, and others. Let go of the burdens that one carries, let go of the memories that bring misery. And find new, positive ways to associate those old feelings of stress and fear.

Yeah you're rite about being taught to feel a certain way , and I don't dwell on the past hence after all these years I've only started

dealing with the problem in the last 17years ! But I think the problem with not dealing with traumatic circumstances at that pivital

moment it can and does effect the said person for many years to come !!

Edit ;; the point being , tradgity plays a major part in the people we become ,, problems and all !!!

Oh yeah, I wasn't calling you out! I don't believe that you have PTSD or any other issues. I think that your family may have had some issues, but are composed of strong minds that are capable of helping each other overcome these things.

Much love.

Oh yeah haha yeah we're one fucd up family , was just curios to the other members veiws , but thank

Acaciaconfusedyah !!

I am not able to diagnose if you have any medical or psychological disorders. But, I can say with certainty that PTSD is real. And anyone who wants to reduce what you and your family went through, in particular, your age of exposure and your mother not talking about it with you, . . . well, given my breadth of real world experience ranging from immolation deaths of loved ones (yep, they burned to death and died screaming) to my husband's ongoing battles in beating metastatic, undifferiented, aggressive cancer, . . . Folks who claim that the aftermaths of such realities are fake or somehow not real tend toelicit a dr;tl reaction from me, as well as an understanding that their tests will come. . . if they are just blessed to live long enough.

Anyway, enough ranting.

I am very sorry that you and your family had to go through this. It is very sad to me that your mother could not discuss this with you. It kinda sounds like she got stuck in the denial phase of the also VERY real grieving procesd - denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. In no particular order than acceptance at the end.

I applaud you for doing the very difficult work - I cheer you for being able to say her name without shaking and crying. I would like to learn more about this young life lost, Who was she, what did she like, what is your most treasured memory iof her, what did she used to do to make you laugh when you were kids? . . . etc.

Other than that, as far as I can determine, addiction is usually a manifestation or symptom of deeper issues eating away at people. Due to lack of time, lack of big bucks and manly society saying get over it or, it is not real. . . I see addiction as an effort to self-medicate the pain back to maneageable levels such that the root issue can be ignored as it continues to core out pieces of people's souls, such that the addict can think of something else, can get back to workin' for the man wearing a manure eating grin. So that greater macho society can say, 'What a great attitude that guy has. Way to take it like a man.'

Meanwhile that worker is making more and sometimes dangerous mistakes on the job, taking constant bathroom breaks, coming out to have the administrator at their desk say, 'You missed a spot,' as she points to the white powder below the worker's nose. He he I played the admin role in this scenario, but I have come close to being in the worker role above.



For those who seek a concise answer, addiction is typically a defense mechanism acceptable by our wonderful culture; it is an attempt to numb oneself, to remove oneself, if even for a short time, from crushing reality, an attempt to self-medicate a wound or wounds.

Conditioning has such a apparent role in what we call 'disorders of the mind-body and spirit.' Many people are conditioned to think, feel, act and speak in a certain way to keep the status of that specific person in that state. We are not informed enough to use our abilities creatively, intuitively or spiritually. Sometimes for the purpose of profit or domination. The hidden signs of stress can play a crucial role in developing a healthy outlook in personal and social life. Not enough people are shown that it is okay to have negative experiences because life will always move forward, positively, in balance. It is through simply awareness to forgive oneself and others automatically. There is a dominate force in our culture that seeks to control the way we perceive, judge and the way we participate in life. That being a lot of systematic information.

By overcoming this prison of status quo, you can discover personal freedom. Realize that each day comes and goes, without effort or force. Be that which that does not attach to past, future or present.

It is okay to just Be. This is very natural healing for the mind-heart connection and can ease a lot of the suffering present in the world. Including those with emotional difficulties. Of course many people can become addicted to activities, especially if those addictions are coming from spaces of unfinished business.

Again, though, not enough are being informed of just simply practicing being. As human beings, we are physically present, but have forgotten our being. Utilize energy, for that is what we are. This quote I witnessed today puts my expression to ease.

Thank you Pandora you're reply comforted me , I wept as I read as you made perfect sence to me , thank you !

My sister her name was Debbie ( Deborah Anne ) she was 17yo 6 months pregnant and was getting a lift home buy a drunk driver ,

they left the road hit a tree and was thrown through the windscreen and also hit a tree and was killed instantly !

I was 8yo when she died so I don't remember much but I do remember her infectious laugh , her chin would quiver when she

cried , she'd spoil me to no end and protect me from my elder brothers , I loved her more then anything in the world , she was my

world , the reason we never spoke or grieved was my dad was a trucky who was on the road 18hrs a day as there were 6 of us

and we needed the money , he to was a great father my mother was a alcoholic but was a fantastic mother and we were a tigh

unit until the 3/8/79 , but after this date our family splintered into a million peices it's only till my late 20s we as a family came back

together and for that I can thank my beautiful wife !

Also I feal you're pain I'm sorry that you're family has suffered , but it sounds you to have a great support network , and thank you

again as you've help me explain my point !! PTSD is a very real life battle !

Wow, she sounds like she was amazing.

I'd bet a LOT on the statement that pretty much matches your own, "She loved you more than you could know or even imagine."

If she could have prevented her own death she would have. I know she didn't want to die on that crappy day, but it still did happen. I know she wanted to be there for you, wanted to watch you grow up, wanted to have adult conversations by your side. (I have a younger brother . . . we are both in our 40's now, but it was a long, difficult path, getting to this point where we love and support each other and can talk about some crap that happened 27 YEARS ago.)

Our loss splintered our family too. We quit having gatherings, even at holiday times and just moved further and further apart. I sincerely regret this to this day. But, in hindsight, knowing my family, I'm not sure I could have prevented it.

I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself. I found that very hard to do personally. I was SUPPOSED to be on the voyage that took out my family, trapped them in their vehicle and burned them down to bones. I blew it off to get high with friends.

It took me a LONG time to forgive myself for that choice. And to come to realize that given the reality of what happened, I most likely would NOT have been able to make a difference that day and that indeed, instead of just this one member still alive, the so-called "Three Generation Trio" that we liked to roll as, would all be dead.


I would encourage you to do something really special each and every single year on the day of Deborah Anne's birthday. Something to celebrate her life. Maybe prepare her favorite dinner item, or do something you know she loved to do . . . I do this each year for my own personal loss anniversary. I often call folks I trust and try to make a joke. They pick up the phone and I say, "Crappy Anniversary!" They respond in kind then we discuss my mother, grandmother and cat, but we discuss them in the best possible way. A few tears may come up but we make sure to remember the best times and the funniest times, so we can cherish our memory of our lost family in a way the celebrates their lives.

If she could speak today, I'll bet she would say that she is proud of you. That she is saddened at how her untimely demise had a huge ripple effect on the family. She would be so happy that you are happily married and she would have thought of your wife who put the family back to a semblance of together, as a true sister.


And please, don't you worry about me. I'm old enough that whenever a Nexian has a story, I seem to have a similar one . . . I just shared a bit to let you know that others have a vague idea of maybe some of what you have gone through, because they (me) have gone through something similar.

It does not matter what you call it, how you label it, how others judge you for it, your process and experiences ARE REAL. Your attempt to move forward, to grow to carry your baggage but in a way that makes the load a lot lighter, is something I can only applaud.

And I know Debbie would too.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing.

I think Pandora's approach may be more compatible for your situation. If mine didn't appeal for you, fair enough.

It seems like both of you guys have gone through rough stuffs. Do what approach works for you.

Mine works for me. I do agree that the feelings that come from trauma is REAL. For me, I got tired of letting the rough patches in my past dictate my present and future REALITIES. It wasn't easy to become aware of the root. I spent 10 years living a life of self created hell based on my own sympathy for my own misfortunes(and when i say misfortunes, this envolves the death of friends and family as well). I cannot compare what I experienced to watching anyone burn, that must have been awful. I'm really sorry to hear that.

What I mean to say: If we become aware that our reaction created from dwelling on the past is making the present difficult, then assertive attention to the situation can relieve some of that pain. Not by magically wishing it away, but that's not a bad start.

Sorry if it seemed like I was preaching. Good luck with everything!

Does PTSD have a hand in addiction? Sure.
Any type of psychological/emotional stress that gets intense enough and lasts long enough will put people
in a state of desparation from which it is VERY EASY to be lured/seduced into addiction.

You'd consider doing ANYTHING to stop the persistant & intense grief/fear/anger,
including plunging yourself into an addiction. You just can't bear to feel another second of it.

But this is grief/fear/anger compromising your rational thinking. Off course becomming a Opiate or Ketamine Junkie
isn't going to make things any better. Maybe a bit on the short term, only to plunge you into a much deeper depression/PTSD than you were trying to climb out in the first place in the long term. Luckily this realisation, supported by the proof of former mates who have become junkies, has always stopped me from saying "fuckitall" and becomming an addict.

Whenever I briefly see these junkies again and see how terribly weathered their skin looks and how the light in their eyes is fading I am instantly reminded of the fact that I do NOT want to age that way, that fast.


What also helps is that I find serenity in playing guitar.
This is also defenitely an addiction, but a harmless & even creative one.
Find non-harmfull, if-possible creative/productive addictions to replace
your harmfull addictions with. Or to prevent falling into a harmfull addiction if you haven't already.

Earthwalker, I too suffer from PTSD (veteran Combat Medic) and try to view stressors, the events that can cause PTSD, as events required for my personal growth.

I hope you find peace,

Ashema

Thank you all , that's what makes this place special , we seem to find common ground and indoing so we support each other and

I'd like to thank the traveler as with out him none of this would be here !

I'm sorry to hear that man. I am glad you have found a rock that has helped you through this! I hope to have a good chat with you next month in mushroom heaven

I do think PTSD can effect addiction or addictive "personalities" because I imagine you would be trying to "escape" or create a new reality.

I have a theory about addiction. This could also effect 2% of people more than the other 98%, but that's another story. Is it possible that, regardless of our past or current life, that we ALL have an addiction to addiction? Or, an addiction to habit? I go stir crazy when I'm bored and get cold sweats, much like when I haven't had a smoke in a couple days. I question why our blood brain barriers allows psychoactive plants/fungi through. Obvious answer is we evolved into hardwired, psychedelic digesters after 10s of 1000s of years of plant/fungi hallucinogen use. But I don't know enough about the brain to conclude anything here.
This theory for me began when I realized that I was "feeding" off being in a deep depressed state, which was every night for 20+ years. I have no idea why I have been depressed for all my life but I don't let it consume me anymore. This is mostly thanks to learning about amazonian shamanism and putting my depression in a logical place. But before this, every night I would lay in my bed and be in a deep state of depression, which felt like I was tunnel visioning and staring into my neuro net straight at my area of depression and I would feel really sad and like death... But one day I realized, after 22 years of being depressed, that I would actually be getting a feeling of warmth and comfort from being in this state. I was addicted to being in a deep state of depression! I had learned that depression causes a peptide release which I think is what I was addicted to.

I don't know though. I'm guessing PTSD is a bit more extreme than just an addiction but I am curious to know if it does effect people the same way as an addiction.