Hello, I'm new! My writing style can be really crazy so I apologize if I use foul language or slang, because I like to just honestly express myself. This will also be free-written so I'm sorry if it's very disorganized or I repeat myself or don't make sense. I'm just going to write:

I've only barely been experimenting with substances. For about a year or two. I never thought I would be on a dmt forum writing this but here I am! First off, weed helped me calm my vibrations down. Whether that's metaphorical or not, I don't know, but I'm definitely better. Of course too much weed I think can be bad just like too much of anything. Just like too much thinking. Too much thinking is dangerous when you are running around a rabbit hole or exploring the edges of your sanity. I forgot to reset my computer and clear the RAM several times, probably causing permanent hardware damage, especially without water cooling, but anyway!

We have hardware and software right? You can re-write your own code. If our brains are kind of like computers (Quantum computers maybe? Maybe not), then what if dmt is like some sort of modem that can connect all life to the universal internet? Sure, I have zero proof but dam it makes a lot of sense! Maybe Aliens are slowly letting us in on it. By slowly, I mean throughout our existence. We have to lurk and observe and learn before we can participate? I don't know, but it sure sounds nice. I mean, universal mind/internet, basically same thing right? But thinking of it from this perspective makes me excited for some reason. It’s like a 4D internet, or maybe 5D or 11D… What if all those ‘prophets’ were just able to tap into that internet? What if most of them just read shitty personal introduction posts written by entities instead of real studies? Not literally speaking of course. You know what I mean.

Are there hackers then?! Those entities that laugh at you, it's because you're a noob on a forum and don't know what's up. There are also real assholes who try to fuck with you and hack you. Sometimes not for anything even evil, but just because?

I also feel like there is an underlying narrative of humanity and art. There is no end to it and we are creating it. Maybe that's why people always feel like the end of the world is coming, because it's the only ending we understand. It's the only ending that's nice and makes sense. What about that esoteric knowledge? The thread that seems to be everywhere throughout all works of great art. I don't think there really is an answer or solution to the rabbit hole right? But we can explore with that in mind and come up with something useful? You soften your mind and mold it. You open up and empty the cup and meditate and think more deeply AND clearly. I bet we don't even need dmt to reach this internet, we all have the modem inside already right?

I mean, if you meditate enough, you can probably create a whole universe inside your mind. Then experience that universe through many perspective to make it more interesting. Maybe to some entities, this is a video game. Maybe this is all a simulation and when we die, dmt let's us start a new simulation. Another life before we even really die. That infinity we feel. Reincarnation etc.

Are the pyramids some sort of huge signal amplifiers? Or maybe that was the intent but they are just pyramids. What is the Illuminati? Because to me, it's not a group or organization. Ideally, the Illuminati would be something that moves away from a centralized or decentralized system into a more distributed system (e.g. bitcoin instead of centralized banks) of thoughts/ideas/knowledge. I are you and you are eye. You are the eye of observation. You are the prism that takes light (information) and turns it into the spectrum/colors. You are the interpreter/realization of reality. Reality is what you make of it?

I think when most come out of the cave, they run back in and preach dat light, but it's usually corrupted by our egos and whatnot. We either misunderstand the light, or we corrupt and mutate it whether on purpose or not. We want to spread our personal ideology. Which is how all religions probably started. Only when we take a step back and admit we don't know shit, can we finally make REAL progress forward. Start that hero's journey. And of course it's all about the journey, I think.

When you try to apply humans like machines. When you make a machine system out of humans, you disconnect. Just like a gun disconnects you more than a knife. I think that's the biggest problem with the "machine."

Subcultures are a way for the tribal monkey to cope with the growing complex modern world. We can always seek affirmation somewhere else. Each person will be a subculture. Unfortunately, our conditioned narrative is always about conflict (between tribes). You are the hero and others are the simple archetype villains.

What if it's all just a projection of the subconscious mind? Sure there is no evidence for dmt being responsible for dreams etc etc, but what if it is? If the body heals physically, what if dreams are a way for the mind to heal mentally/emotionally? Running defrag on your brain. Does weed help you eliminate useless things in your mind to free up space for more useful things? At least things your brain thinks are useful.

Maybe we're all just swimming in a sea of madness. Just keep swimming right?

I don't know anything! But I want to tell different and new stories so that future generations can live them.

I'm not even sure if I ever broke through honestly. Also, lsd once before I ever did more things and then again after and the second time was a whole different beast. I think someone tried to "hack" me. Or maybe I shouldn't have been running around Zion mountains with a big ego pretending I could take on anything. Very weird trip I'm still processing.

My first trip when doing more things, I saw people partying. It was like a future rave or something. But they seemed human. Everyone always talks about aliens. They were wearing ridiculous gold jewelry but seemed normal from what I could perceive. Everyone was super animated and everything felt saturated in art. They all laughed at me, but it wasn't a vicious laugh, more like "ha ha noob." I didn't mind at all, I was like "Yuuup basically!" Anyway, everyone kept touching my face and drawing on it? Doing something to my face and head and it was weird but I just went along and trusted it.

Then there was like a guy stretching an arm around me and it seemed like it was some trickster fucking with me so I started throat singing (so weird that I started learning this before I even did psychedelics/entheogens) and all of a sudden I felt the most loving feeling ever and there was this fairy like female presence but she was hiding. There were also all these weird triangle tiles and they were all over me, like I was buried in them. I could move them off me. Then the loving lady also seemed to draw on my face. She never revealed herself though. I completely opened up but it was too late I started coming down. This part was extra extra blurry but there were these figures. Two of them. Black/green humanoid but they were made out of this goo that was liquidy and moving around. They tore some film between us and started pouring sand in my dumbfounded open mouth. Then I was back. None of it was very clear though. Not like people explain. It just seemed like a dream afterwards, but I remembered most of it, I think.

My second trip was short. I just saw a boy and a girl standing over me in like a wide stance and they were wearing normal clothing. Cargo shorts and jeans. What the fuck? Then the girl flipped me off and that was it. There were also some weird shapes and human teeth flying around.

I feel like I'm going insane. I guess you have to be on the edge of madness right? A lot of my friends think I'm crazy now and they are all shifting away. I'm tighter with my band though, so that's good I guess. I don't know where this journey is leading me, but I'm down for the ride, even if there is no real conclusion or anything. It can't be bad, because I feel like I discovered real empathy, a real me. Or at least I'm a lot more empathetic than I used to be. A lot more open minded too. I used to think I was open minded but I really wasn't. I used to look down on people but now I realize that there is no real true path. No genuine path can be untrue right? I want to tolerate and understand.

I just wore a mask. I was being swallowed by my ego and didn't even consciously realize it. Substances helped me view everything from a different perspective. That alone was worth it. How can we truly be open minded when we don't put in the effort to really pay attention and observe and research and communicate. I just trusted science. "They seem right for the most part, I'll just take the word of it." That is not being open minded. I was not being open minded. I still have ‘ego’ but at least now I’m aware of it. At least I try to be aware as much as possible.

And what's up with people who think that keeping information is somehow a good thing and that it will bring them some sort of arbitrary form of success? Fuck that. I feel like this is an age of misinformation and manipulation.

I still think the scientific method is a slow and steady way and IDEALLY a great method for thinking and trying to understand the natural world, but after all this, you're telling me I'm supposed to just forget it and go back to "reality?" What is reality? It is only something we shape! People always talk about change and blah blah but until we all have an internal revolution, nothing will happen. The revolution of the mind. A vision I can get behind. People say wake up and evolve, but that seems like wishful ego nonsense. Creating levels and shit. Conscious revolution, not evolution.

Well this turned out to be very long. I do not care about being wrong or right. I do not care about attaining enlightenment or gaining some mystical knowledge. I just feel like we are all beautiful souls that are trapped and I want all of us to break free and have a ‘rave’ together celebrating everything! And people can draw on my face after I pass out.

Also, what are insects?! Both times with Lucy, spider webs looked like portals! Insects seemed so alien. Also, after dimitri, I got ants around my computer and bedroom. Just a dozen. They don't spread or do anything just chill. I try not to kill them though I do accidentally sometimes. Also there is a fruit fly now that just flies around me at work. What the huh?! I don't think I smell that bad. Should I kill them? Is my brain just trying to make more weird meanings from patterns? Are they alien spies? Flies have so many eyes at every angle! Are insects evil? They seem so mindless. Maybe that's how we seem to aliens/entities/gods. They are just checking if we're 'sentient' at all, in their way.

Starship troopers and psychic brain bugs creep me out man.

Anyway, I'm not sure how to end this... THE END IS NIGH! Run for your lives! Prepare for battle of the ages! The victors write history by pages ah ha ha

<3

Firstly, wow! Secondly, Don't kill the bugs!! Maybe it's just a personal thing, but I am a bug friendly person. Remember, would you want to be squished because some giant doesn't understand your intention? Watch the bugs over the next few months. I know i likely sound pretty crazy, but I have a lot of bug friends that live around my house that I interact with on a daily basis.

Here's an example. Every morning, I bring my plants outside so they can get some southern sun. I'll sit out there and drink my coffee, water the plants, and enjoy the morning freshness. Each day, a carpenter bee comes and hovers next to me, and then flying over my plants, hovering for a while and moving along.

I could be speculating this, but I feel like the bee is helping to stimulate growth.

Picture this if you will - rapid movement from the wings of the bee vibrates the air around it. The intense vibrations create friction between the air molecules. That friction creates a slight static charge.


And... as i was looking for an article to tell about plants and electricity, looksie what I found.... http://www.livescience.c...s-electrical-fields.html

According to the article, my speculations were going in the right direction. Maybe not 100% correct, but that's how we learn. By being wrong.


Also, about alienating of the friends. Try to find a comfy balance. Yes, you are now a trans dimensional being, sharing both this world and the world of hyper space, but try not to get lost in one or the other.

I learned the hard way that this way of life is not for everyone, and quite a few of my friends who are not interested in the "hyperspace-land" are also not interested in hearing me talk about it all the time - which I tend to do.

One of my journeys offered advice about how to deal with this. Those who are not part of hyperspace, cannot understand - it is our duty to learn from this realm and incorporate the lessons into a tangible form that others can relate to. Not saying that we need to go preach the good word, just be good and do good things to the people we love. Everything else will begin to take care of itself.