so far today in seperate doses
400mgs mescaline
10mgs amphetamine
25mgs acetylpsilocin
40mgs tetrahydraharmine
60mgs harmine
150mgs theobromine
6 large datura stranoium seeds
100mgs sublingual virola resin

i dont know what to do with myself
there is nothing
my girl broke up with me over instant messanger yesterday the day after our anniversery

none of my 'friends' talk to me
i work and come home to nothing
i am deep in a spiraling nihilistic depression
my tolerance has reached unbelievable levels
i tell myself tomorrow i wont trip and ill be able to lay off

i cant remember how long iv been tripping

That's hard to believe. That's just too much. I would stay off everything for a week at least to get back to complete baseline.

Using anything that’s psychoactive on a daily basis is not a good idea, even if it’s a beer or doctor prescribed “anti-depressants”. Drugs are drugs are drugs, and without returning to baseline on a regular basis, the mind is going to get off center and problems are likely to occur.

believe it or not
the reality is probably a bit more that iv forgotten

this time ill come down
and yes i feel a break is needed
suicide is hovering over me like towering beast
i look away
i need to clear my mind
i am going crazy

Seriously Psychosisdoses, don't let all of that material go to waste. If you're going to engage in such excess, try doing it with creative purpose, if you're not already. There's so much to do with yourself, especially with access to such amazing substances, and there's definitely more to life than an ex or friends. If need be, "find the others."

Psychosisdoses detox and abstain for all psychoactives and drugs of all forms for 13 days and then do Ayahuasca (real Ayahuasca).

You will feel much better.

Check this thread for some helpful advice, the book I recommend has been clinically proven to be as or more effective than antidepressants http://www.dmt-nexus.me/....aspx?g=posts&t=3615

Many people feel like you do at some point in their lives. SWIM has, but now he is happy. SWIM has personally known 2 people who have committed suicide, and knows of many others, and wishes he had realised so he could've helped them. Good luck man, we're here for you. Make your own thread in the healing section if you'd like some personally-tailored advice from the community

i am trying.. today will be the hardest i woke a half hour ago (still tripping) but of course want to gobble down doses first thing... i will hold out my sanity is all i have left

I am happier now than I’ve ever been because of my wife. Before I got married I never thought I’d find the right person and it would get me down sometimes. After getting married I learned that the glory days are not always in the past, sometimes they’re yet to come.

No matter how bad things might seem right now, 99% of the time they get better after some time passes. You never know. It could be that the best years of your life are waiting to be lived.

Ow c`mon man you don`t need her.Don`t be a pussy, there`s a plenty of fishes around! If she gone she was a twat.
The same happened to me a while ago. Of course it lead to massive depression, but soon I realized how different is life and how many opportunities rose from dust, when bitch gone!
I have much more time to communicate my family, because none of them live with me!
I can be more committed to my work when I`m single and don`t have to think all the time what my bloody girlfriend doing
I can spent much more time on Nexus constructing all my fictive stories
I can more communicate with ILPT and learn about his researches and results
I gave up with booz and weed, start to do biy of bodybuilding!
I can look at any sexy girl and don`t feel guilty......

Gooosh there`s soooooo many positives, I`m so glad she gone! Well I still love her, but we are suppossed to love everybody, so it doesn`t matter.

Life is soooo wonderful. And I thanx to GOD for every day spent on this beautiful BLUE PLANET



Well again it`s happened to me too! I registered on Facebook and found some of the long lost friends, joined some groups with similar interest and found friends trough it.
I also join few boards(NEXUS )and found loads of lovely and intelligent FRIENDS
Love you all!

Psychosisdoses stay clear of bloody amphetamines and lovely psychedelics for a month!
Instead try bit of bodybuilding, jogging, cycling swimming(mean literally :lol or found other hobby what you used to do before you started with drugs, or find entirely different hobby.
Rearrange your house,flat,or room that`s always help me beat depressions
Go out and met and talk to some homeless people whose lost everything,far more then you You`ll be happy with what you`ve got after that conversation!
Just keep your mind busy and don`t let bloody depression to sneak in

Don`t kill yourself, you have no right to do that!
Souls of people whose killed themselves(even with excessive drug use) suffer greatly then those whose murdered somebody
Your birth on this planet wasn`t your decision, so shouldn`t be your death!!!

Bare in mind that we are here for you matey!

thanks for all the words of wisdom guys i really appreciate it
iv managed not to dose today and will stick to it
i know if i just let my head get straight ill feel better

Hang in there man. I can tell your a good guy but your going through a rough patch. Find something to do that require immense attention to detail. If you've never rebuilt a transmission, do it.

haha funny you mention that... its a pain in the ass iv done a few manuals but automatics.... nooooo thank you
i have just been laying in bed feeling weird as shit all day
after today i know itll be easier

i will stay strong thanks for the support everyone
i cant wait to see what itll be like to trip without tolerance again
i will wait at least a month

hey psychosisdoses, I think you have a cool vibe... just remember, all this stuff will pass, if you let it...

Get yourself a 1st gen dodge cummins with a four speed auto. I love wrenching on my truck. Gotta get the tranny done soon before something really bad happens. Got new bushing, seals, bands, levers, frictions, steels, and a new torque converter for here. That tranny will hold up to 800hp and 1800 ft/lbs of torque by the time I'm done.

awesome i work at a dodge chrysler jeep dealership
ID RATHER BE CUMMIN THEN STROKIN!!!!!!
im sure you can appreciate that

Oh yeah. Lol, a stealership mechanic. My dad is a car salesman. That's funny, what a small world

we are not all crooks although there are alot of em..
i honestly only do things people need.. i am getting fucked over anyway not getting any tickets so i dont expect to be making money.. i do my best to help people anyway i can, i am the one writing the estimates i commonly put the labor that it would actually take me rather then what the shop normally calls for.. i am only at the dealer for now biding my time and getting what training i can.. id like to open my own speed shop one day....

i made it through the day without dosing
me and my girl reconciled and im in probably the best mood i have been in in along time... i guess things can sometimes work out.. in a way i needed the crazy experience i had yesterday, it forced me to look at what i was doing to my life.. how it was effecting everything around me and gave me the momentum to stop it.. now i just have to stick to it.. i feel that wont be a problem considering the overwhelming positivity that fills me i havent felt like this in forever.. thanks for all the support guys

Yeah, I know your not all crooks but I like to poke fun at dealerships cause I've been around em all my life. Glad to hear your doin good and you reconciled with your lady. Remember, psychedelics are not good tools for covering up and avoiding problem. When you use em for that, they have a tendancy to grind your face in the shit. Much love nexus family.

Oh and, I forgot to add. The whole thing thats in your sig

(referring to me)"your an auto mechanic not a chemist... you dont know what your talking about"(fyi mechanics can read to...)

Try dumping that. You don't need to remind yourself of the times when people have put you down. You can be a god damn chemist if you wanted to. Like all things, it just takes time.

yea.. of all people that came from my father here


he didnt like when i started talking all technical because he couldnt understand it so he had to strike me down... humans