Hey Nexus. I figured it's time I put in an official post onto this forum. I want to say first before I get into this, THANK YOU to everyone on this forum, the people that make it happen, and the people that write about their experiences because I can not fully express how much it has helped me throughout my many, many, rather odd but very satisfying journeys
so THANKS!
As an introduction ESSAY I feel it is proper I sum up a fair bit of my experiences as well as what I have learned throughout this experience thus far
. This might be a rather long post, I've got a beautiful afterglow, it's 5:30 in the morning and I feel like typing, so whoever wants to read, enjoy.
Let me first off say to any fresh DMT enthusiasts, when you first start on your trails, there is alot of trial and error. It takes time to work the flame and vape your substance just right -unless you make a machine or have a nice GVG
- It took me at least 3 months of playing around with lighter doses, getting used to the visuals, and the nature of dmt, that I felt ready to start upping it up, go after what I thought was the desired breakthrough doses.
My First Breakthrough
There was a feeling of acceptance as I took that third ginormous lungful for the first time, I was ready, it's like you go deaf, everything around you goes quiet and still for whats about to happen, it's THAT moment! I put the pipe and lighter down, it hits you so quick and you literally feel everything just scatters away. I closed my eyes, the pretty rotating propellers of light that are normally there tear away in less than a second, with a VERY definite TEAR. instantly I feel turned around, like I went around a corner, It's like looking into a diorama into your head. There were these beings, this was my first breakthrough, they were not necessarily fully interacting with me, it felt more so like I broke into their little box. They presented themselves to me, very delicately, like ballerina, they were morphing in and out of each other. I had a feeling they were baby making, it was hilarious, what was weirder was I felt like I had seen it before. For me it was a feeling like walking in on your parents or something fornicating when you were younger, or something. They just went about it letting me watch. It slowly faded away and I felt a definite pop as I opened my eyes and was back in my body. All I could do was laugh hysterically, I was amazed.
-After my first breakthrough I never needed as much molecule to get where I wanted, each time it would be similar, with a different experience.
Here's a list of lighter breakthrough themes that I have had: APX 20-35 mg range, always vaped efficiently:
-Everything going elastic, being able to turn my head and feel like all my skin is just flowing away
-Metal beads being forced out of my mouth
-Alien space night clubs
-Energy field carnival, flying around it like a ride, feeling your body flow from you as you spin releasing so much stress. (DMT usually feels AMAZING)
-Being locked down in space glue, prodded by needle like creatures, it kind of tickled though.
It's hard to remember, those trips were a long time ago, but pretty much every single experience is different, it is so random. Somewhere along this journey I felt like I was developing a habit, but I'd tell my self, "The stuff is so interesting, I'm just curious" Which was truth, but I'd long for it, couldn't wait to get home late and have a ritual before bed. I wanted more out of the experience, what I was seeing with these lighter doses was beyond incredible but the entities themselves would never fully interact, besides playing with the way I feel in a way.
My first true 50 mg EGO DEATH.
This one will be brief because my other ego death is more interesting, in my opinion. This one is harder to remember too, (dosage was way to high.. enough said.)
It's strange, like DMT wanted this to happen, it wanted me to experience it's raw power in the blink of an eye. I didn't feel much until the third hit, mostly because I had been using it every other day quite frequently. I knew I could have been fine where I was after that third, but I put a big pile on there, and I wanted to be shown something. I killed the entire bowl with the flame not touching it a bit, killed it, milked it so hard it almost hurt, but DMT vapor is so smooth, and the longer you hold it the easier it is to hold. I don't even remember blowing this last hit out when BAM. There's alot of instant feelings you feel all at once and I'll do my best to explain it. The first thought that runs to your head is, what did I just do, the bong you just took that rip from blew up in your face, it sounded like a shotgun, felt like a shotgun in your hand, and your eye?, well, there is a hole in it, you just fudged up. It's hard to remember after that, sorry. Scary, but it didn't scare me until after I was coherent enough to realize what the hell just happened and those first few seconds. It's just a feeling that you no doubt, accidentally put a bullet in your head. It was terrifying. The DMT felt explosive on my head, it was just bursting everywhere. Like little DMT black cats popping off everywhere. No physical pain.
I didn't learn, EGO DEATH #2 40 mg
This one was even scarier than the first, because I watched it all happen. Took the whole dose, solid three hits, vaped perfectly. I closed my eyes and instantly I was in this females room. She was blue and pinned up on a wall. She instantly swarmed to me, before I know it shes ripping at me, It sort of turns my view to the side as I watch it happen. She pulls different strands out of my stomach and heart, and just takes off like lightning, dissapears like a shooting star down this hallway. as she does I slide back into my body, I realize I just watched my self get torn to shreds, i'm laying flat on my bed still in her room on the floor, my arms are crossed over my body like i'm laying in my own coffin. Suddenly she comes crashing back down out of nowhere, there is a crunch, it sounds like bones, it's such a crisp sound, so definite, you could not mistake it if you have ever experienced this. Everything goes from a Bright neon blues and whites to a mushy green and mud brown, I saw this female and now there are two others, they kind of look more like stick figures now but they still have full humanly qualities. They are scooping dirt over me, I hear the sounds of the shovel scooping into the dirt, there is three scoops, like a "Sheeenk" sound. They buried me and walked away. Everything turned white, it was peaceful, low visual stimulation after that. This one really rattled me though, I just sat there, could not believe I just watched my own crime scene, literally. My thought process afterword was very poetic, mind was obliterated. Still no physical pain, breathing was fast at first and it felt like my heartbeat paced past itself as it was torn from me, then I forgot about keeping my physical body alive at all, it didn't matter anymore, I came back
.
And here I am, just broke through on probably less than 25 mg of DMT, I'm having more fun with lighter dose open eyed trips nowadays. DMT is a quick thrill though, no matter the dose really. Lighter doses make my mind work, like mushrooms in a way, it's alot more introspective to me seeing objects around my room turning into the words that lead my thought process to better understanding the problems in my life, if that makes since. I think I've rambled far too long though, Hello this is me, and my journey thus far. I'll be around
AND again thank you NEXUS, everyone here is such amazing help. Happy Trails
If you made it this far, thanks for the read, maybe you can relate to some of my experiences, I'd love to know.
Also please note, my experiences are, of course, subjective, when I say the first thoughts that run through your head, of course I meant mine, It's hard to explain this stuff though and I don't have time to fix up all the points of view.