It's been almost four months since my first breakthrough, which was mind shattering for me. Prior to this trip I was cement in my atheism. I didn't discount the possibility/probability of the unknown but I believed wholeheartedly that I, nor any other human would ever understand anything beyond the reality that we exist in the majority of the time (or all of the time as I used to believe). I did however always believe that everything that exists is part of a greater whole (the universe) and in that all of life is 'one' - the universe becoming aware of itself, or the universe's consciousness if you will.

So when I blasted off in to this very real alternate realm where I was flooded with imagery, emotion and sensory experience far beyond anything I'd ever experienced, as well as mental contact with entities who seemed to delight in showing me my ignorance I was f**king shaken. It was beautiful but terrifying.

I've spent almost every day since in a state of varying anxiety. Having my beliefs ripped away so quickly has left my questioning absolutely everything and I honestly feel scared. I feel scared to be alone, I feel scared when I pay attention to my senses too much - scared that I'll blast off in to another dimension or something from another dimension will appear in mine without my consent.

I'm scared of exploring DMT further, I'm scared of not exploring DMT further, I'm just at a loss as to how to integrate. I feel like I am still learning things from my trip every day but I don't know whether it's just a desperate struggle on my behalf to try and understand something my brain isn't equipped to understand.

I guess I am looking for some advice/reassurance. Those of you who've had difficult/life changing experiences - how do you deal with them? How do you come to terms with experiencing DMT? How do you go back when you're scared sh*tless?

time is your allie!



progress implementing by ACTING upon what you learned.
Plus I recommand positive life changes like starting something new, such as yoga or working out or socializing more

It gets better , ground yourself in life and routines . Hang with friends
Exercise , study , play an instrument , draw write . You'll work through it .

I too had such an existential crisis following my most revealing, shocking DMT experiences.
I'm still in the process of integrating these realisations, but(corny as it sounds) it does get better.
I allways had a keen eye for hidden intentions, but after my DMT voyages this sensing people's hidden intentions
has been amplified. This has lead to paranoya and social phobia for me too. I saw even deeper into people and didn't like what I saw 9 out of 10 times.

Those Demons that live in me, live in others too. I have faced my demons and recognised their existance, but most people in this world have no clue of the evil that lives in them. Won't even recogfnise it or flatout denie it.
These people are most dangerous as these people have no inhibitions of their evil tendencies, because you can't/won't inhibit evil tendencies when you don't know they exist inside of you.

In having the realisation of the evil that lives in me and in all of us, I feel rather lonely. I do my best to inhibit/tame my demons so as not to hurt others, yet most others effortlessly and constantly hurt others making no effort to inhibit the beast in them. This is disheartening. This is terifying on a deep & constant level.
I found I couldn't enjoy the company of people anymore since I don't trusted them. Then, gradually, I discovered a few people that WERE worthy of trusting.


So what DMT showed me, in an indirect way, was that most of the people I associated with were deceptive, selfish and harmfull. This meant breaking contact with 9 out of 10 people in my social circle. This was painfull and lonely, but showed me that I ought to have higher standards for who I'd associate with. My only 2 friends remembered me of this higher standard by living up to it on their own initiative. Alas such trustworthy people are hard to come by.

This is a most painfull transformation, but as I feel I'm nearing the end of it, I sense that at the end a glorious time of enlightenment & contentment awaits me. Hang in there, 9tail. You'll get your's yet.

Maybe try to focus more on things in your life that seed happiness and love within you, learn ways to ground yourself and let go of the fear.

While it might sound far fetched to you now, things will get better in time and activities as simple as exercise, yoga, healthy food, and time in nature can do wonders to re-calibrate yourself and help you find your center, and let go of fear. I'd suggest looking into pranayama breathing exercises.

When/if you decide to journey again, perhaps try a light dose of oral dmt, as it would be much more integratable and less jarring. Even just rue, caapi, or harmalas on their own have really helped me get back into the swing of things after a deeply shattering experience; they are very relaxing and much less in your face than dmt. But for now I would focus on other things.

Hello 9tails..

It is quite natural to feel the way you do now. With anything that powerful, the short term effects are usually the most prominent. Give yourself time to adjust and reflect. Experiences like these are here to help you, not degrade you. If feeling degraded is what has happened, then this is what the experience has opened up. A part of you isn't agreeing with what has been shown and perceived. Relax for a while, meditate, do some research, learn something new, read a book, go into nature, live your life simply. Though, I would recommend to depart from anything remotely entheogenic for a while. Do not let yourself be fooled.. stay grounded and in touch with who and what you really are.

As almost everyone else has said: time. Journeying into these other worlds is something that must be done with great moderation. When I first started experimenting with psychedelics (mainly Psilocybin), I overused and ended up doing some psychological damage to myself - bouts of severe anxiety/panic attacks, a lot of paranoia, basically a complete disappearance of any social abilities. Basically all I did to get better was exercise, started eating better, and started a meditation routine. It took quite a while, and there were times where I didn't think it would get any better, but it did.

As Cognitive Heart said, live your life simply. Why are you scared of being alone and paying attention to your senses? DMT taught me the underlying beauty in all things around us. Go for a long walk or explore nature. Sit and just listen to the sounds around you. To simply exist in this way might be jarring and feel unnatural at first, but once you get used to it, it's quite nice.

+1 on this and what many others said. But just for the sake of it, if I were you I would:

1. Take break from all psychoactive substances.
2. Eat better, healthier food.
3. Exercise a couple of times a week (5 for me)
4. Meditate
5. Socialize
6. Spend time in nature, 20 minutes of looking at a view have shown to increase mood and well-being in studies.
7. Sleep, very important to get your nightly sleep as this is when the body and mind
recovers.

Im still recovering from my anxiety/panic and depression but all I can say is it will get better and it has for me, 3-4 months ago I thought I was doomed and nothing will ever go back to "normal", but it gradually does so don´t loose your hope and keep on keeping on.

I wrote a response to the op, but upon re reading done of these posts realized it's redundant. There is good advice up there. Sometimes, "enlightenment" isn't what you bargained for. It can be pretty strange.

So yes, do the things suggested above, take time to understand, continue to post here, the folks on the nexus can empathize.

And there aren't to many people on earth who can relate to a life changing dmt trip...

Go to the gym, you can socialize there, work on your body and afterwards you can meditate in the sauna. Bike home, so you get some fresh air and smoke some weed at night to cure your muscle pain or low dose dmt nothing above 10-12mg's and do some streching / yoga

Quitting everything is the biggest BS i heard, I mean you just have to tweak some parameters in your life. I was really scared when I started all of this, had the worst trips but low dose is the best way to move on, your goal should not be "trip as hard as you can". It should be a tool to enhance life.

Why? I don"t understand how continually doing a drug that has given you an extreme paranoid/anxious experience can help, without first integrating it into your everyday life.