Weeks ago I changed my nickname in the chat to the "n" word. I was trying to be goofy. I understand now through introspection that what I thought was a harmless word, actually brings about a lot of negativity because as humans we have feelings and dignity, and as our history goes, the word I ignorantly abused has effected many humans feelings and dignity in a painful way. I am glad that I was banned, for I have now orientated my self in a more positive light.

I understand the appropriation of this horrible word within the rap community, and get that they are trying to remove it's power. I don't frequent the chat, and I'm glad I didn't see that. There are few instances it cab be used in jest, and unless you're Dave Chappele, I suggest you refrain.

I'm not in any position to remove your ban, but thank you for your honest apology.

As humans, we are also prone to making mistakes. What's important is knowing how to learn from them, which after reading this apology it seems you have. I can understand that sometimes it is difficult to gauge how people will react to a word or sentence, as well as getting caught up in ones own perception of something without considering the perception of others before making a statement. It can be easy to forget the ramifications of a word or phrase, especially if the negativity associated with that word or phrase is not a particularly large part of one's own life.

Although there may be times when it doesn't seem like it, for the most part the Nexus members are a pretty understanding forgiving bunch. I imagine since you have taken responsibility for your mistake and demonstrated that you have learned from it, most of the hard feelings associated with said mistake will fade. Thank you for posting this.

abusedtoaster, thank you for taking the time to write an authentic, heartfelt, and thoughtful apology. I'm frequently blown away by both the humanity and humility of the people on this forum, and this is yet another beautiful moment to witness. Thank you for being who you are.

I love those who hold them selves accountable and consider the impact they have on others. I also believe that sticks and stones break bones, not words. Although after reading "The Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin I would rather be beaten with sticks and stones.

Well, cheers to your humility, wish the world could be more like you.